Its now Day 6 and I feel like I'm slowly starting to lose my mind. I can't say that I'm having any physical withdrawal symptoms, other than the occasional headache, but its my mental state I'm worried about, lol.
You don't realize how much of a crutch smoking becomes for you until its no longer there. Before, it was like if I was stressed out, anxious, nervous, bored, hungry, or whatever, I could have a smoke (or two) and it chilled me out and gave me something to do. Now I don't have that and I think I might be going slightly insane. My mind goes in circles, over and over, always thinking thoughts and there's no nicotine-break to stop the cycle. My hands want to do something, they want to repeat that hand-to-mouth motion, so my mind says "Eeeaaatttt sssoommethingggg..." so my hands can do the motion. But I flat out REFUSE to replace smoking with eating, oh no, I am so not going down that road. Instead, I give my hands the motion of bringing a glass of water to my mouth, less satisfying but less fattening, lol.
When it gets to the point where I just can't stand it, then I have to put my body in action. I have to physically do something that will give me a feeling of satisfaction. (And seeing how I chose to do this during Aunt Flo's visit, my favorite activity is off limits, boo!) So as a result, I have now accomplished the following in my house: installed two hanging candle holders in the livingroom, put up the picture shelf in the hallway, sorted and put away a box of filing stuff in my room, cleaned all the upstairs bedrooms, cleaned the microwave, and did ALL the laundry (even blankets and pillows). The next projects I have lined up for the coming days are: scrubbing the ever-lovin' shit out of the dining table and chairs, sorting the other box of filing in my room, vacuuming the cobwebs in the high corners of the walls, cleaning and organizing all the kitchen cupboards and cabinets. There are many more such projects but I have to ration them to get me through the coming month.
And I'm proud to say that I haven't touched a drop of DP in these past 6 days, as well. Or any other type of pop. Its been just water and the occasional glass of juice or milk. It totally sucks but I am doing it. And I've lost six pounds so its worth it. Woohoo!
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