It's Monday morning (hey, 11:20 can still be considered morning, lol), I'm sitting here in my jammies, got a hot cup of coffee going, and I'm in the process of downloading the newest version of iTunes on the computer so I can set up Ardan's new iPod (that he got from Gramma #1). I've kicked all the kids downstairs (not literally, of course!) so I can have some peace and quiet. Life is great.
I can happily say that, for me, the Christmas rush is now over and I can finally R-E-L-A-X. We've had a week of non-stop cleaning and cooking, visiting, presents, eating, visiting, more presents, and more eating. I resemble the huge turkey we had for Christmas dinner. My pants are tight (not that I'm wearing any, but I mean when I DO) and my house is a disaster. And you know what? I don't care!
Today is my designated day for just chillin' out. I've done a load of laundry and two loads of dishes, so I consider that my token cleaning for the day. I do have plans to "do" my room today, I'm actually looking forward to it. This last week, my room became the storage area for anything I didn't feel like putting away before company came over. I have three hampers of clean, folded clothes that need to be put away in my disaster of a closet. My dresser and Tyler's are covered with boxes and bags of presents we've gotten. Cleaning my bedroom is usually low on the priority totem pole, mainly because only us two see it and we don't care if its a mess.
There was one moment of mortification over the holidays when, on Christmas Eve day Mom and Trapper came over to help me wrap presents. Between the three of us, it took two hours but we got every last gift wrapped. It was awesome! Trapper and Mom, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. That was the first time EVER, in probably ten years, that I haven't been up till the wee hours of the morning, frantically wrapping gifts. It was such a relief! That is, until I said, "Wait, I have to show you guys something before you leave!" and ran to my closet to get the SS's (not gonna spell that one out for you in case one of the kids reads this). I went into my room, waded through the boxes and bags and hampers, etc on the floor, opened my closet, pulled out the stuff, turned around --- and there was Trapper! He'd followed me in to my room! ACK!
"What the hell are you doing in here!? Get out of my den of sin!" I squealed, totally mortified. He just laughed, "Its not so bad!" YEAH, RIGHT!
So yeah, we had a really great Christmas. I'm sure glad its over, though! Now I just have to get through this next week of the boys' vacation from school...
Monday, December 29, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
The Cherished Ones
Yesterday's post about sharks, considering them from a different viewpoint, got me remembering another story I've read that really made an impact on me and changed my point of view about something.
Now, you all know that my brothers and I grew up in a household where mentally challenged people were considered "God's special ones". My mom worked (still works) at Michener Centre, so of course she was (and is) very sensitive about how they are viewed and treated by others. In our household, the word "retarded" was an absolute no-no, considered WORSE than the other swear words. In fact, at a slumber party one time one of my friends stupidly used that word, even after I'd warned everyone about using derogatory words like that, and my mom nicely gave that kid a lecture ('nicely' because I could tell she wanted to smack her, haha).
So all my life, I've thought of mentally challenged people differently than most people, and Down Syndromes were no different. But this story I read gave me an even more different viewpoint.
The story (Dark Seduction by Kathleen Korbel) was about Sorcha, the daughter of Queen Mab, queen of the fairies. She was sent to our world to retrieve a special stone and in the process fell in love with a man, Harry. The stone was reported to have been last seen in the possession of this family, so Sorcha spent her time on our side at Harry's castle (he lived in Ireland, of course), getting to know his family, etc. Harry's niece, Lilly, had Down Syndrome. Here is the excerpt from Sorcha's first meeting with her.
"'Lo!" Lilly called, leaning toward Sorcha. "'Lo! 'Lo!"
Harry stiffened. Sorcha caught sight of the little girl in his arms and her eyes went soft.
"Well, and what a great honor this ," she said, stepping closer. "Would you greet this unworthy soul?"
Fury hit Harry like a blast. "Don't you dare," he snapped. "Lilly isn't up to your nonsense."
"Ah, you think I'm after insulting your kin again, don't you, Harry Wyatt?" she asked, reaching out her arms for Lilly.
Lilly, of course, went right into them.
"Lilly has--"
"You call it Down syndrome," Sorcha said softly, wrapping her arms around Lilly. "I know. And you think I would hurt a child who is so precious to the fair folk?"
"Precious?" Phyl asked, her voice small. [Phyl is Lilly's mother]
Sorcha's smile was pure sunlight. "Sure, what do we of the fair folk revere more than pure joy? And where could you find another mortal who could never lose their joy? These cherished ones are the only children who will never grow too old to see us. And they are welcome as revered friends in the land of faerie."
Harry opened his mouth, certain he had something scathing to say. He couldn't get it past the sudden inexplicable lump in his throat. Alongside him, Phyl actually had tears in her eyes. As for Lilly, she'd caught Sorcha's face between her pudgy little hands and kissed her on her nose.
"'Lo, fairy!" she cried.
Harry's heart damn near stopped beating entirely.
"Hello, my cherished friend," Sorcha said, returning the kiss for another bright laugh from Lilly. "And what is your name?"
"Lilly!" she crowed, although no one but the family could interpret it, because of all the L's she still had trouble with.
No one except Sorcha, evidently. "Lilly," she repeated, nodding. "Ah, that's brilliant, isn't it? A lovely flower in a beautiful garden. Are you a flower, my Lilly?"
Lilly preened like a debutante. "Flow-er! Mama, I'm a flower!"
"But of course you are, my love," Phyl said. "Haven't I told you all along?"
Here's another excerpt, Sorcha is out at the stables (the horses are all enchanted with her, of course) and she's helping the older children ride the horses:
That was when Harry saw Lilly. There she was, standing at the fence, her little helmet dangling from her pudgy hands, looking as lost and yearning as he'd ever seen.
"Me," she whimpered, almost to herself. "Me."
There were tears on her face. Ah, damn it. He couldn't stand it. He took a step toward her, but Sorcha must have seen her.
"Ah, mo chroidhe," she crooned, swinging off the great bay and setting Bea down before her. "What is it, now?"
Lilly pointed her pudgy little hand toward where Theo trotted happily atop Starchild. "Ride," she said in a hopeless tone. "Lone."
Sorcha hopped the fence and sat right down at the little girl's feet. "You're wanting to ride, then?"
"She can't, Sorcha," Phyl said. "Not alone. It's too dangerous."
Sorcha looked up, saw Phyl, then saw Harry and bestowed a gleaming smile on him. "Ah, well, that might not be true," she disagreed. "Has she been atop one of the ladies yet?"
"Of course not," Harry said. "Not without one of us holding on to her. She doesn't have the fine motor coordination. She'll never--"
Sorcha waved him off and settled the helmet on Lilly's head. "It's just a matter of asking, Harry Wyatt."
And she walked Lilly to where Starchaser stood patiently waiting by the side of the fence.
"Now then, mo stoir," Sorcha said, buckling the helmet on and lifting the little girl into her arms. "What do you say to this fine, gracious lady?"
Harry knew he should interfere, but he couldn't seem to move. Next to him, Phyl grabbed hold of his sleeve. "Harry..."
"Please," Lilly said in a piping voice, her little hand flat against Chaser's dark gray muzzle. "Carry me."
The horse actually lifted her head, as if considering the little girl.
"Ogbheann," Sorcha crooned with a regal dip of her head, "I ask your favor for this wee sprite here. You see the great heart of her, the pure spirit of her. I give you the greatest honor a fairy can, the chance to guard one of the cherished ones. Will you carry her, then, with all the care you would your queen?"
The horse held still. Everyone in the yard held still, except Lilly, who chortled as she ran her hand down the horse's nose. Then, unbelievably, Chaser bowed her head, as if in obeisance. Before Harry could protest, Sorcha had Lilly on the horse's bare back and was wrapping her pudgy little hands on the filly's mane.
"Now then, mo aoibheann," she was saying to the little girl, "you hold on here, and your lovely friend will do the rest. All right?"
Lilly nodded enthusiastically and Sorcha let go.
"No!" Phyl cried, and started running.
Harry followed right behind. But before they could reach the fence, Chaser set off in the most amazing stately trot he'd ever seen. She moved over the ground as if gliding on ice. Lilly, her little legs sticking almost straight out, held on to Chaser's mane as if she'd done it her whole life, and rode her like a rocking horse.
"Get her off, Harry," Phyl insisted. "She'll fall."
"Ah, no," Sorcha said, walking over. "I swear an oath, that as long as it's your Starchaser who has her, she'll be perfectly safe. Sure, a fairy horse would rather die than harm a cherished one."
"She is not a bloody fairy horse!" Harry said, trying to step past.
Sorcha took hold of his sleeve. Harry spun on her, ready to fight. Then he heard it, and his heart tumbled right over. Lilly, who just moments ago had been standing alone, left behind by what everybody but she could accomplish, what she ached to do, called to him.
"Ha--rry!" she cried, her little voice shrill with delight. "I ride! I ride!"
And then she was laughing. The pure, sweet notes of it skipped through the air like a melody. The horses stopped, each one. Stable boys stepped outside to see and smile. Somehow Harry knew that even his grandmother had heard from her room.
"Yes, my piglet!" Harry called back, his voice rough. "You ride!"
She rode all alone, and she was so happy the sun shone. And seeing that, Harry suddenly wasn't sure what he'd thought could have been dangerous. Chaser literally floated across the ground, carrying that little girl like a precious gift on a cushion, and Lilly, perched motionless atop her, absolutely gleamed.
"Oh...my...God, Harry," Phyl whispered.
"Mama!" Lilly cried out. "See me!"
Phyl was in tears. "Yes, my love. Yes!"
Skip forward a few paragraphs...
"Ah, Harry," Sorcha said with a beaming smile, "I know Saoirce is one of your most lovely horses, but you see, don't you, that she's Lilly's horse?"
"Saoirce?" Phyl asked.
"Her real name, so. Her fairy name. It means Freedom."
Harry was nodding, wiping tears from his own cheeks. "Lilly!" he called. "How do you like your very own horse?"
At his words, Chaser came to a fluid stop right in front of him and waited as the little girl carefully unwrapped a hand and patted her. "Mine!" she crowed.
"Indeed," Harry assured her. "All yours. Saoirce doesn't mind?"
He knew Phyl was staring at him as if his hair was afire. He didn't care. He couldn't think of anything he'd accomplished in his life as satisfying as this.
"Saoirce says it would be her great honor," Sorcha said.
As if in emphasis, Chaser--Saoirce--carefully bent a knee and lowered her head, as if paying homage.
"Then Lilly's horse she is."
And lastly, an excerpt from the end of the book... (I don't know why there's suddenly huge gaps between each line, I did something while typing I guess, that changed line space-age.)
Now, you all know that my brothers and I grew up in a household where mentally challenged people were considered "God's special ones". My mom worked (still works) at Michener Centre, so of course she was (and is) very sensitive about how they are viewed and treated by others. In our household, the word "retarded" was an absolute no-no, considered WORSE than the other swear words. In fact, at a slumber party one time one of my friends stupidly used that word, even after I'd warned everyone about using derogatory words like that, and my mom nicely gave that kid a lecture ('nicely' because I could tell she wanted to smack her, haha).
So all my life, I've thought of mentally challenged people differently than most people, and Down Syndromes were no different. But this story I read gave me an even more different viewpoint.
The story (Dark Seduction by Kathleen Korbel) was about Sorcha, the daughter of Queen Mab, queen of the fairies. She was sent to our world to retrieve a special stone and in the process fell in love with a man, Harry. The stone was reported to have been last seen in the possession of this family, so Sorcha spent her time on our side at Harry's castle (he lived in Ireland, of course), getting to know his family, etc. Harry's niece, Lilly, had Down Syndrome. Here is the excerpt from Sorcha's first meeting with her.
"'Lo!" Lilly called, leaning toward Sorcha. "'Lo! 'Lo!"
Harry stiffened. Sorcha caught sight of the little girl in his arms and her eyes went soft.
"Well, and what a great honor this ," she said, stepping closer. "Would you greet this unworthy soul?"
Fury hit Harry like a blast. "Don't you dare," he snapped. "Lilly isn't up to your nonsense."
"Ah, you think I'm after insulting your kin again, don't you, Harry Wyatt?" she asked, reaching out her arms for Lilly.
Lilly, of course, went right into them.
"Lilly has--"
"You call it Down syndrome," Sorcha said softly, wrapping her arms around Lilly. "I know. And you think I would hurt a child who is so precious to the fair folk?"
"Precious?" Phyl asked, her voice small. [Phyl is Lilly's mother]
Sorcha's smile was pure sunlight. "Sure, what do we of the fair folk revere more than pure joy? And where could you find another mortal who could never lose their joy? These cherished ones are the only children who will never grow too old to see us. And they are welcome as revered friends in the land of faerie."
Harry opened his mouth, certain he had something scathing to say. He couldn't get it past the sudden inexplicable lump in his throat. Alongside him, Phyl actually had tears in her eyes. As for Lilly, she'd caught Sorcha's face between her pudgy little hands and kissed her on her nose.
"'Lo, fairy!" she cried.
Harry's heart damn near stopped beating entirely.
"Hello, my cherished friend," Sorcha said, returning the kiss for another bright laugh from Lilly. "And what is your name?"
"Lilly!" she crowed, although no one but the family could interpret it, because of all the L's she still had trouble with.
No one except Sorcha, evidently. "Lilly," she repeated, nodding. "Ah, that's brilliant, isn't it? A lovely flower in a beautiful garden. Are you a flower, my Lilly?"
Lilly preened like a debutante. "Flow-er! Mama, I'm a flower!"
"But of course you are, my love," Phyl said. "Haven't I told you all along?"
Here's another excerpt, Sorcha is out at the stables (the horses are all enchanted with her, of course) and she's helping the older children ride the horses:
That was when Harry saw Lilly. There she was, standing at the fence, her little helmet dangling from her pudgy hands, looking as lost and yearning as he'd ever seen.
"Me," she whimpered, almost to herself. "Me."
There were tears on her face. Ah, damn it. He couldn't stand it. He took a step toward her, but Sorcha must have seen her.
"Ah, mo chroidhe," she crooned, swinging off the great bay and setting Bea down before her. "What is it, now?"
Lilly pointed her pudgy little hand toward where Theo trotted happily atop Starchild. "Ride," she said in a hopeless tone. "Lone."
Sorcha hopped the fence and sat right down at the little girl's feet. "You're wanting to ride, then?"
"She can't, Sorcha," Phyl said. "Not alone. It's too dangerous."
Sorcha looked up, saw Phyl, then saw Harry and bestowed a gleaming smile on him. "Ah, well, that might not be true," she disagreed. "Has she been atop one of the ladies yet?"
"Of course not," Harry said. "Not without one of us holding on to her. She doesn't have the fine motor coordination. She'll never--"
Sorcha waved him off and settled the helmet on Lilly's head. "It's just a matter of asking, Harry Wyatt."
And she walked Lilly to where Starchaser stood patiently waiting by the side of the fence.
"Now then, mo stoir," Sorcha said, buckling the helmet on and lifting the little girl into her arms. "What do you say to this fine, gracious lady?"
Harry knew he should interfere, but he couldn't seem to move. Next to him, Phyl grabbed hold of his sleeve. "Harry..."
"Please," Lilly said in a piping voice, her little hand flat against Chaser's dark gray muzzle. "Carry me."
The horse actually lifted her head, as if considering the little girl.
"Ogbheann," Sorcha crooned with a regal dip of her head, "I ask your favor for this wee sprite here. You see the great heart of her, the pure spirit of her. I give you the greatest honor a fairy can, the chance to guard one of the cherished ones. Will you carry her, then, with all the care you would your queen?"
The horse held still. Everyone in the yard held still, except Lilly, who chortled as she ran her hand down the horse's nose. Then, unbelievably, Chaser bowed her head, as if in obeisance. Before Harry could protest, Sorcha had Lilly on the horse's bare back and was wrapping her pudgy little hands on the filly's mane.
"Now then, mo aoibheann," she was saying to the little girl, "you hold on here, and your lovely friend will do the rest. All right?"
Lilly nodded enthusiastically and Sorcha let go.
"No!" Phyl cried, and started running.
Harry followed right behind. But before they could reach the fence, Chaser set off in the most amazing stately trot he'd ever seen. She moved over the ground as if gliding on ice. Lilly, her little legs sticking almost straight out, held on to Chaser's mane as if she'd done it her whole life, and rode her like a rocking horse.
"Get her off, Harry," Phyl insisted. "She'll fall."
"Ah, no," Sorcha said, walking over. "I swear an oath, that as long as it's your Starchaser who has her, she'll be perfectly safe. Sure, a fairy horse would rather die than harm a cherished one."
"She is not a bloody fairy horse!" Harry said, trying to step past.
Sorcha took hold of his sleeve. Harry spun on her, ready to fight. Then he heard it, and his heart tumbled right over. Lilly, who just moments ago had been standing alone, left behind by what everybody but she could accomplish, what she ached to do, called to him.
"Ha--rry!" she cried, her little voice shrill with delight. "I ride! I ride!"
And then she was laughing. The pure, sweet notes of it skipped through the air like a melody. The horses stopped, each one. Stable boys stepped outside to see and smile. Somehow Harry knew that even his grandmother had heard from her room.
"Yes, my piglet!" Harry called back, his voice rough. "You ride!"
She rode all alone, and she was so happy the sun shone. And seeing that, Harry suddenly wasn't sure what he'd thought could have been dangerous. Chaser literally floated across the ground, carrying that little girl like a precious gift on a cushion, and Lilly, perched motionless atop her, absolutely gleamed.
"Oh...my...God, Harry," Phyl whispered.
"Mama!" Lilly cried out. "See me!"
Phyl was in tears. "Yes, my love. Yes!"
Skip forward a few paragraphs...
"Ah, Harry," Sorcha said with a beaming smile, "I know Saoirce is one of your most lovely horses, but you see, don't you, that she's Lilly's horse?"
"Saoirce?" Phyl asked.
"Her real name, so. Her fairy name. It means Freedom."
Harry was nodding, wiping tears from his own cheeks. "Lilly!" he called. "How do you like your very own horse?"
At his words, Chaser came to a fluid stop right in front of him and waited as the little girl carefully unwrapped a hand and patted her. "Mine!" she crowed.
"Indeed," Harry assured her. "All yours. Saoirce doesn't mind?"
He knew Phyl was staring at him as if his hair was afire. He didn't care. He couldn't think of anything he'd accomplished in his life as satisfying as this.
"Saoirce says it would be her great honor," Sorcha said.
As if in emphasis, Chaser--Saoirce--carefully bent a knee and lowered her head, as if paying homage.
"Then Lilly's horse she is."
And lastly, an excerpt from the end of the book... (I don't know why there's suddenly huge gaps between each line, I did something while typing I guess, that changed line space-age.)
Harry couldn't think. Suddenly the rock was heavy in his hands. Impossibly large, if it was, in fact, a diamond.
"And she has a few more, as well," Sorcha said. "She doesn't want the cherished one to ever find herself in need, Harry. I'm thinking she found the way to do it."
"Lilly isn't the only cherished one, Sorcha."
"Oh, aye, that we know. But she's crossed the world of fairy, and when that happens, she becomes a thread in our weave. We are obliged to protect her."
As if to punctuate Sorcha's words, the queen was even then standing to raise a hand to Lilly's horse, who was literally kneeling before her.
"I honor you, my lovely Soairce," the queen proclaimed, "and make official my daughter's choice of you as guardian for this cherished one. Your name will be linked to hers in the rolls of honor."
Harry was sure the horse shivered. She bent her head to receive the queen's benediction, and Lilly laughed in pure delight. Harry looked back at the glittering egg in his hand. "Good sweet God," he breathed. The thing had to be worth millions.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Sharks: Another viewpoint
I was reading a story the other day called 'Soul of the Sea' by Alison Paige, about a mermaid and the human she falls in love with. A great story but what I found really interesting was some of the information given about merpeople and their life in the sea. They think of the sea as "The Lady" and of course, they feel a strong connection to Her. Some merpeople though, have a much stronger connection to Her, almost an obsession. Here's an excerpt:
“The Lady is a powerful seductress. Many of our men lose themselves to her. They stroll into the waters and allow their love of her to transform them, to change their bodies so they can worship her forever and always without end, without rest. They never stop swimming, never stop searching for her heart, aching for her embrace, protecting her from all who’d come between them.”
“Sharks,” he said.
“Yes.” She swung her gaze to him, amazed he understood so quickly.
Isn't that cool? Makes you think differently about sharks, doesn't it?
“The Lady is a powerful seductress. Many of our men lose themselves to her. They stroll into the waters and allow their love of her to transform them, to change their bodies so they can worship her forever and always without end, without rest. They never stop swimming, never stop searching for her heart, aching for her embrace, protecting her from all who’d come between them.”
“Sharks,” he said.
“Yes.” She swung her gaze to him, amazed he understood so quickly.
Isn't that cool? Makes you think differently about sharks, doesn't it?
Wow, did I raise him right or what?! LOL
So I came across an unfinished scrapbooking photo album last night, it was about half done. The pics were all Gunnar's baby pics, like when he was brand spankin' new, we're talking crossed-eyes and everything. As the kids and I are flipping through it, 'aawwww'-ing and giggling, we came across a pic of me, fresh from labor, absolutely beaming as I held my new baby boy.
(Of course, I'm thinking, "Why did I keep that horrible picture! I'm so red-faced and sweaty! Ugh!")
Ardan exclaims, "Wow Mom, you look exactly the same as now!" I paused for a moment, wasn't sure if I should be offended, then asked a bit reluctantly (you never know what's gonna come out of their mouth), "What do you mean?"
"You still look that young! You look exactly the same!"
Phew! I grabbed that kid and gave him a huge bear hug, "Kid, you just made my decade! I think you might just be #1 now!" Of course, the other two weren't impressed upon hearing that, haha. Told them they're gonna have to be pretty complimentary to me for the next year to top that one!
What a kid!
(Of course, I'm thinking, "Why did I keep that horrible picture! I'm so red-faced and sweaty! Ugh!")
Ardan exclaims, "Wow Mom, you look exactly the same as now!" I paused for a moment, wasn't sure if I should be offended, then asked a bit reluctantly (you never know what's gonna come out of their mouth), "What do you mean?"
"You still look that young! You look exactly the same!"
Phew! I grabbed that kid and gave him a huge bear hug, "Kid, you just made my decade! I think you might just be #1 now!" Of course, the other two weren't impressed upon hearing that, haha. Told them they're gonna have to be pretty complimentary to me for the next year to top that one!
What a kid!
Gunnar as 'Rock Gibraltar'
So Gunnar's Christmas concert was Tuesday night, he was sooo awesome in his role as the "egocentric, grandiose" sports reporter, Rock Gibraltar. Spoke nice and clear, didn't miss a cue, and he looked awesome. For some reason, they let him wear his favorite cap, backwards of course (gotta look cool). When Hubs saw this pic (he'd stayed home with Ryder, THANK GOD) he was like, "Why is Gunnar wearing a dress?" -- MEN! New pics of kids
Cuba kids, aren't they adorable? 
Love this pic, aren't my boys so handsome?(The hair in Lena's eye drives me nuts, though, lol!)
Monday, December 15, 2008
And the winner for the World's Worst Mother Ever is....!
I seriously debated whether or not to do this post. I know when the "event" that got me nominated in the first place occurred, I told everyone there "Well, at least I have another blog post out of this!" But afterwards, when the crushing guilt and shame abated (it will NEVER go away though, I'll carry this in my heart forever), I was so embarrassed, so humiliated that I didn't want all you readers to know. But then I thought that this could be a lesson for all you parents out there, so you would never do what I did, or if you have done this, maybe you wouldn't feel so bad because there's another dummy out there who's done the same.
So let's call the event my "Home Alone" moment. Here's what happened...
It was Friday night, Family Dinner night to all us family members. Tyler had come home from work early that day and had taken Milena out for a long quad ride around town. They were gone about an hour. After they came home, Lena went straight for a nap. Around that time, the boys came home from school, Ardan got ready for hockey practice as he had to leave in half an hour. Tyler took him to the arena and I stayed home with the three kids. Ryder woke up from his nap (Lena was still sleeping) and Gunnar and I puttered around.
Around 5:45, I realized we needed to get our butts in motion so we wouldn't be late for FD. We were rushing around, I remembered I had to bring a few things for Levi to take to Trapper up in Edmonton. Went out, got the vehicle warmed up, loaded everything in. Got Ryder all dressed in his winter gear, Gunnar and I got our stuff on, and away we went!
We got to my mom's, took off all our stuff, and got busy with visiting and chatting. After being there for about ten minutes, my mom said, "Everyone, come out to the livingroom and look at my tree! Kids! Come on! Hey, where's Lena?"
OMFG!!!!! WHERE THE HELL WAS LENA?!?!
Back at home, sleeping soundly in her bed.
I totally did the "KEVIN!!" thing from Home Alone -- slapped my hands to my face, totally horrified, screamed, "LENA!! I left her at home sleeping! Holy shit!"
Meanwhile, everyone is laughing hysterically at me. I threw my coat back on, grabbed my keys, on my mad run out to the vehicle I slipped on the deadly patch of ice in front of my mom's garage and did a facer into the huge snowdrift, jumped back up covered in snow head-to-toe, and raced back home. The whole time I was screaming at myself, "Stupid! Worst mother EVER! How the hell could you do that? OHMYGOD Tyler and Ardan are coming back from hockey! Shit! Ohgod, please let me get there before they do! Please let her still be sleeping and not crying hysterically or out wandering outside looking for me!"
Got home (Tyler wasn't there yet), raced inside, woke Lena up from a sound sleep, shoved her body into some warm clothes, carried her outside to the vehicle still half-asleep, and raced back to mom's, taking the other way around the block so if Tyler was coming he wouldn't see me leaving.
Got back to mom's, threw open the door, "The World's Worst Mother Ever is back!" -- and there were Tyler and Ardan. "Huh, what do you mean by that?" Here, they'd shown up just as I'd left, and my entire family covered for me when Tyler wondered why Ryder and Gunnar were there but I wasn't ("Oh, she had to go home because she forgot something"). So if I would have kept my trap shut I could have got off scot-free but no. I then had to explain to my husband that yes, I had left my sleeping 3-year old home alone and that was why I was the World's Worst Mother Ever. He actually took it surprisingly well.
So there you have it. I've definitely done many many things over these past ten years that qualified me for World's Worst Mother Ever, but this certain "event" brought me home the trophy.
What about you guys? Anyone else have a horror story to tell and make me feel a little better about myself?
So let's call the event my "Home Alone" moment. Here's what happened...
It was Friday night, Family Dinner night to all us family members. Tyler had come home from work early that day and had taken Milena out for a long quad ride around town. They were gone about an hour. After they came home, Lena went straight for a nap. Around that time, the boys came home from school, Ardan got ready for hockey practice as he had to leave in half an hour. Tyler took him to the arena and I stayed home with the three kids. Ryder woke up from his nap (Lena was still sleeping) and Gunnar and I puttered around.
Around 5:45, I realized we needed to get our butts in motion so we wouldn't be late for FD. We were rushing around, I remembered I had to bring a few things for Levi to take to Trapper up in Edmonton. Went out, got the vehicle warmed up, loaded everything in. Got Ryder all dressed in his winter gear, Gunnar and I got our stuff on, and away we went!
We got to my mom's, took off all our stuff, and got busy with visiting and chatting. After being there for about ten minutes, my mom said, "Everyone, come out to the livingroom and look at my tree! Kids! Come on! Hey, where's Lena?"
OMFG!!!!! WHERE THE HELL WAS LENA?!?!
Back at home, sleeping soundly in her bed.
I totally did the "KEVIN!!" thing from Home Alone -- slapped my hands to my face, totally horrified, screamed, "LENA!! I left her at home sleeping! Holy shit!"
Meanwhile, everyone is laughing hysterically at me. I threw my coat back on, grabbed my keys, on my mad run out to the vehicle I slipped on the deadly patch of ice in front of my mom's garage and did a facer into the huge snowdrift, jumped back up covered in snow head-to-toe, and raced back home. The whole time I was screaming at myself, "Stupid! Worst mother EVER! How the hell could you do that? OHMYGOD Tyler and Ardan are coming back from hockey! Shit! Ohgod, please let me get there before they do! Please let her still be sleeping and not crying hysterically or out wandering outside looking for me!"
Got home (Tyler wasn't there yet), raced inside, woke Lena up from a sound sleep, shoved her body into some warm clothes, carried her outside to the vehicle still half-asleep, and raced back to mom's, taking the other way around the block so if Tyler was coming he wouldn't see me leaving.
Got back to mom's, threw open the door, "The World's Worst Mother Ever is back!" -- and there were Tyler and Ardan. "Huh, what do you mean by that?" Here, they'd shown up just as I'd left, and my entire family covered for me when Tyler wondered why Ryder and Gunnar were there but I wasn't ("Oh, she had to go home because she forgot something"). So if I would have kept my trap shut I could have got off scot-free but no. I then had to explain to my husband that yes, I had left my sleeping 3-year old home alone and that was why I was the World's Worst Mother Ever. He actually took it surprisingly well.
So there you have it. I've definitely done many many things over these past ten years that qualified me for World's Worst Mother Ever, but this certain "event" brought me home the trophy.
What about you guys? Anyone else have a horror story to tell and make me feel a little better about myself?
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Hostage, Pt. 2
So I literally like just went downstairs to sneakily invade MY laundry room and see just what is going on in there. Imagine my utter horror to open the door and immediately see the FREAKIN' HUGE pile of clothes, on the GD floor!!
Okay, so yes, thank you Tyler for doing those few loads of laundry for me before you started on your own. Would it have been to much to ask you to fold them?!? Oh no, I guess that's not manly. Instead, he just took the clothes out of the dryer and threw them in a pile! So he did three loads of laundry for me apparently, and there was a pile on the floor the size of Everest! It took me half an hour to fold them all. Ooooo, I was mad!
So in revenge, I hauled the three hampers of laundry that have already been created these last two days and plopped them down right in front of the washer. Ha HAH! Hope the stench invades his hunting stuff.
Okay, so yes, thank you Tyler for doing those few loads of laundry for me before you started on your own. Would it have been to much to ask you to fold them?!? Oh no, I guess that's not manly. Instead, he just took the clothes out of the dryer and threw them in a pile! So he did three loads of laundry for me apparently, and there was a pile on the floor the size of Everest! It took me half an hour to fold them all. Ooooo, I was mad!
So in revenge, I hauled the three hampers of laundry that have already been created these last two days and plopped them down right in front of the washer. Ha HAH! Hope the stench invades his hunting stuff.
My Guardian Angel Daddy saved our lives yesterday
Around 10am yesterday morning, I got a call from one of the hockey moms reminding me about the game in Stettler that day at 1:45, and confirming that we were going to be there. Whaaaatt?! Apparently an email had been sent out notifying everyone of that game being added to the schedule. Of course, MY email must have chosen to reject that particular email 'cause I certainly didn't receive it!
So it was a mad rush to get everyone ready. Tyler was at Ardan's hockey game, which ended at 11:30, the exact time we had to be leaving. I went out to start the Durango, get it all warmed up -- the key wouldn't even turn in the ignition! It was completely frozen! Panic time. Rounded up the hair dryer, spent ten minutes out there blasting the ignition with hot air, finally it un-froze and I got the vehicle going. Phew!
Went online to Mapquest so I could print off a map and directions on how to get to Stettler. I've been there before but I didn't want to have another "Highway 2 North to Innisfail" fiasco. Well, this map gave me a route I'd never taken before -- go on Hwy 11 straight through Red Deer until you hit Hwy 12 up by Erskine, then continue through to Stettler. Said it was faster than taking Hwy 2 North to Lacombe and going that way. Awesome!
So we get on the road, one small error where I missed the Hwy 11 East turnoff by Clearview, had to turn around and get back on it. The streets in Red Deer were absolutely terrifying, thick layers of ice covered with snow and ruts. Thank God for 4x4! Almost hit a truck's rear-end when I slowed for a red light, my tires kind of skidded even though I was going extremely slow, we stopped like two inches from the truck. Gunnar and I kind of glanced at each other and gave a full-body shudder.
After about an hour or so of driving, we finally come to the turn-off for Hwy 12. Looked both ways, absolutely no traffic coming (THANK GOD, as you'll soon read why). I slowly pulled out and as I was turning my front wheels hit a huge patch of glare ice. The vehicle started fishtailing and swerving towards the other lane. I deliberately kept the wheel straight and when it seemed like we were coming out of the skid, I (stupidly!) chose to turn the wheel a tiny fraction to the right, thinking I should try to get more on my side of the road. HOLY SHIT! The vehicle started turning, picked up speed, spun in a complete circle through both lanes, when we finally shuddered to a stop we were back in our own lane but facing the wrong way!! There was still no traffic coming towards us, ohthankgod, but now there was three vehicles coming from the other lane up behind us. They had all slowed upon seeing what had happened and I got quite a few concerned stares from the drivers as they inched passed us. I just sat there, clutching the steering wheel and hyperventilating. As soon as the trucks passed us and I could see no more were coming, I got in that lane and pulled over onto a side road. Sat there for a full minute, shaking and crying.
Once I was composed again, I got back on the road and we carried on. But all I could think about was the prayer I'd sent up before we'd started driving, back in Sylvan. I usually do that, much to the amusement of the kids ("Mom's praying for her guardian angels to protect us while driving again!"). I'm a true believer in guardian angels and I do believe they have kept watch over me. And on this particular road-trip, I just KNOW that one very special guardian angel was watching over me and my kids and it was his loving, protective hand that guided my vehicle back into the empty lane.
Thank you Daddy!
So it was a mad rush to get everyone ready. Tyler was at Ardan's hockey game, which ended at 11:30, the exact time we had to be leaving. I went out to start the Durango, get it all warmed up -- the key wouldn't even turn in the ignition! It was completely frozen! Panic time. Rounded up the hair dryer, spent ten minutes out there blasting the ignition with hot air, finally it un-froze and I got the vehicle going. Phew!
Went online to Mapquest so I could print off a map and directions on how to get to Stettler. I've been there before but I didn't want to have another "Highway 2 North to Innisfail" fiasco. Well, this map gave me a route I'd never taken before -- go on Hwy 11 straight through Red Deer until you hit Hwy 12 up by Erskine, then continue through to Stettler. Said it was faster than taking Hwy 2 North to Lacombe and going that way. Awesome!
So we get on the road, one small error where I missed the Hwy 11 East turnoff by Clearview, had to turn around and get back on it. The streets in Red Deer were absolutely terrifying, thick layers of ice covered with snow and ruts. Thank God for 4x4! Almost hit a truck's rear-end when I slowed for a red light, my tires kind of skidded even though I was going extremely slow, we stopped like two inches from the truck. Gunnar and I kind of glanced at each other and gave a full-body shudder.
After about an hour or so of driving, we finally come to the turn-off for Hwy 12. Looked both ways, absolutely no traffic coming (THANK GOD, as you'll soon read why). I slowly pulled out and as I was turning my front wheels hit a huge patch of glare ice. The vehicle started fishtailing and swerving towards the other lane. I deliberately kept the wheel straight and when it seemed like we were coming out of the skid, I (stupidly!) chose to turn the wheel a tiny fraction to the right, thinking I should try to get more on my side of the road. HOLY SHIT! The vehicle started turning, picked up speed, spun in a complete circle through both lanes, when we finally shuddered to a stop we were back in our own lane but facing the wrong way!! There was still no traffic coming towards us, ohthankgod, but now there was three vehicles coming from the other lane up behind us. They had all slowed upon seeing what had happened and I got quite a few concerned stares from the drivers as they inched passed us. I just sat there, clutching the steering wheel and hyperventilating. As soon as the trucks passed us and I could see no more were coming, I got in that lane and pulled over onto a side road. Sat there for a full minute, shaking and crying.
Once I was composed again, I got back on the road and we carried on. But all I could think about was the prayer I'd sent up before we'd started driving, back in Sylvan. I usually do that, much to the amusement of the kids ("Mom's praying for her guardian angels to protect us while driving again!"). I'm a true believer in guardian angels and I do believe they have kept watch over me. And on this particular road-trip, I just KNOW that one very special guardian angel was watching over me and my kids and it was his loving, protective hand that guided my vehicle back into the empty lane.
Thank you Daddy!
I'm being held hostage
Okay, so some of you ladies will know EXACTLY what I mean when I explain. I am married to an obsessive fisherman/hunter, and every November my house becomes over-run with hunting gear. I've told Tyler (ranted, raged) that all that stuff needs to be contained downstairs, I WILL NOT have it upstairs. That's my space. But downstairs, what do I care, right?
Well, he listened, though he seemed to ignore the part where I said "contained" -- I was thinking he'd keep everything in bins or at least black garbage bags. No. Instead, he chose to drape all his hunting clothes and gear over every available surface in our downstairs livingroom. The desk -- covered with no-scent stuff and ammo, etc. The couch and the lamps -- covered with camo clothes, pants, shirts, gloves, coats, etc. I couldn't even look at that area whenever I'd go downstairs else I'd have an anxiety attack about the mess. I told myself "Just get through November, you can do it, when December rolls around it'll all get put away."
So its now December and just as I'd thought (hoped, wished, agonized over) Tyler is in the process of putting everything away. But FIRST, he said, he has to wash all his hunting clothes. OH GOD, I thought, not this again!!
You see, my hubby is a FIRM believer in using no-scent stuff on his hunting stuff. He's convinced he will never get a huge monster buck if it can smell him coming. So this means ALL his stuff MUST be washed with no-scent laundry soap. And not just that -- the washing machine and dryer CANNOT be "tainted" with regular laundry soap before he uses them. So before he does his laundry, he runs two EMPTY loads through the washer with his special soap to get rid of the "taint". Then, he BANS me from the laundry room (how DARE he?!) because my "woman scent" will somehow magically infuse the room and everything in it and will get on his hunting stuff. AARRGHH!!
So he started this process yesterday and warned me NOT to go in the laundry room for at least three days (just as well 'cause I'd probably have a shit-fit if I went in there and saw the ginormous chaotic mess he's creating). Now, I'm cool with him doing his own laundry and needing some time to get it all done. "Some time" in my mind constitutes one day, maybe two if I'm being nice -- it DOES NOT mean three days. Three friggin' days!! We are a household of SIX, do you have any idea how much laundry is created in three days!?
So I asked him this morning how many loads of his stuff he'd done and when can I expect my laundry room back? I asked quite nicely, in my opinion. He thought I was giving him a hard time and had a little freak out, "What?! I haven't even started! There was a hamper of your stuff in there so I thought I'd be nice and do that for you before I did my own stuff." To which I then freaked out (because I'm picky-picky and I like my laundry done a certain way, like, oh say, NOT putting dirty underwear and socks in with the towels, things like that, lol), "WHAT?!? You haven't even started?! This is day two of your three-day time allowance, there's NO WAY you'll be done by tomorrow if you haven't even STARTED!" Then he got more pissy, "Hey, at least I did your laundry for you! I had to waste my own no-scent stuff on YOUR laundry so it wouldn't taint the machine! You should be thanking me! And I can't help it if it takes me longer than three days, I work long hours so I can only do my laundry before-and-after work!" I replied, quite logically in my mind, "Well then, let ME do it, it'll be done by the end of the day. That should make you happy, right? I'll even fold it all for you!" (See, aren't I nice?) He spazzed out, "You are NOT allowed in that room, remember! And don't even think of touching my stuff with your woman-scent! I'll have to re-wash everything!"
So at that point, I chose to "exit" the conversation. He took that as a sign he'd "won" (stupid man) and went to work a happy camper (or, hunter, rather). Meanwhile, I'm standing at the sink doing dishes, muttering under my breath, "Stupid man, holding me hostage in my own home. What is the world coming to when a woman can't even go in her own laundry room? Woman-scent, hah! I should rub my boobs all over his stupid clothes! Muahahahaa!!! Ohgod, I can't believe I can't do laundry, I'm going insane! The dirty laundry hampers are piling up and taunting me!"
So that is the situation at my house right now. If you happen to see me and I'm wearing the same clothes you saw me in two days ago and there's stains on the pants and my shirt is wrinkled, have some pity on me, okay? Just say "stupid man" and shake your head, and I'll be happy.
Well, he listened, though he seemed to ignore the part where I said "contained" -- I was thinking he'd keep everything in bins or at least black garbage bags. No. Instead, he chose to drape all his hunting clothes and gear over every available surface in our downstairs livingroom. The desk -- covered with no-scent stuff and ammo, etc. The couch and the lamps -- covered with camo clothes, pants, shirts, gloves, coats, etc. I couldn't even look at that area whenever I'd go downstairs else I'd have an anxiety attack about the mess. I told myself "Just get through November, you can do it, when December rolls around it'll all get put away."
So its now December and just as I'd thought (hoped, wished, agonized over) Tyler is in the process of putting everything away. But FIRST, he said, he has to wash all his hunting clothes. OH GOD, I thought, not this again!!
You see, my hubby is a FIRM believer in using no-scent stuff on his hunting stuff. He's convinced he will never get a huge monster buck if it can smell him coming. So this means ALL his stuff MUST be washed with no-scent laundry soap. And not just that -- the washing machine and dryer CANNOT be "tainted" with regular laundry soap before he uses them. So before he does his laundry, he runs two EMPTY loads through the washer with his special soap to get rid of the "taint". Then, he BANS me from the laundry room (how DARE he?!) because my "woman scent" will somehow magically infuse the room and everything in it and will get on his hunting stuff. AARRGHH!!
So he started this process yesterday and warned me NOT to go in the laundry room for at least three days (just as well 'cause I'd probably have a shit-fit if I went in there and saw the ginormous chaotic mess he's creating). Now, I'm cool with him doing his own laundry and needing some time to get it all done. "Some time" in my mind constitutes one day, maybe two if I'm being nice -- it DOES NOT mean three days. Three friggin' days!! We are a household of SIX, do you have any idea how much laundry is created in three days!?
So I asked him this morning how many loads of his stuff he'd done and when can I expect my laundry room back? I asked quite nicely, in my opinion. He thought I was giving him a hard time and had a little freak out, "What?! I haven't even started! There was a hamper of your stuff in there so I thought I'd be nice and do that for you before I did my own stuff." To which I then freaked out (because I'm picky-picky and I like my laundry done a certain way, like, oh say, NOT putting dirty underwear and socks in with the towels, things like that, lol), "WHAT?!? You haven't even started?! This is day two of your three-day time allowance, there's NO WAY you'll be done by tomorrow if you haven't even STARTED!" Then he got more pissy, "Hey, at least I did your laundry for you! I had to waste my own no-scent stuff on YOUR laundry so it wouldn't taint the machine! You should be thanking me! And I can't help it if it takes me longer than three days, I work long hours so I can only do my laundry before-and-after work!" I replied, quite logically in my mind, "Well then, let ME do it, it'll be done by the end of the day. That should make you happy, right? I'll even fold it all for you!" (See, aren't I nice?) He spazzed out, "You are NOT allowed in that room, remember! And don't even think of touching my stuff with your woman-scent! I'll have to re-wash everything!"
So at that point, I chose to "exit" the conversation. He took that as a sign he'd "won" (stupid man) and went to work a happy camper (or, hunter, rather). Meanwhile, I'm standing at the sink doing dishes, muttering under my breath, "Stupid man, holding me hostage in my own home. What is the world coming to when a woman can't even go in her own laundry room? Woman-scent, hah! I should rub my boobs all over his stupid clothes! Muahahahaa!!! Ohgod, I can't believe I can't do laundry, I'm going insane! The dirty laundry hampers are piling up and taunting me!"
So that is the situation at my house right now. If you happen to see me and I'm wearing the same clothes you saw me in two days ago and there's stains on the pants and my shirt is wrinkled, have some pity on me, okay? Just say "stupid man" and shake your head, and I'll be happy.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Tagged again!
So my e-friend Missy from Just Another Stupid Blog tagged me again, this time its a little different than the book meme (thank god because the closest book to me is fairly erotic throughout and you'd all be shocked, I think -- well, maybe not SOME of you fellow perverts, not naming names, haha). Here goes:
RULES!!
You get to send it to only 5 PPL ONLY not all the bloggers that wanna do it!
Rule number two: just write, don't keep anything inside!!
Rule number three HAVE FUN!!
OKAY, TOPIC: pick a person, ONE PERSON, that we all know which is A BLOGGER THAT BLOGS!! IN BLOGGER OR WORDPRESS!! Only one!! and describe that person and tell her/him some stuff that you like about them and if there are any negative points then say them too!! and write the name!!
So because I only know one other blogger that you all will know, I will do her and that is my BFF Kelly Milne (her blog is Musing and Mutterings on blogspot, check it out).
"Kelly, you have been one of my closest friends for about ten years now. When we first met, I'll admit I was prepared to dislike you just because I had been friends with Curtis's previous girlfriend and so I felt some loyalty for her. But as soon as I met you, that first time, remember we all went camping May long, I knew you'd be a friend for life. You instantly reminded me of my mom, you had qualities that she has that I've always envied and admired.
You're BALLSY, you're not afraid to tell it like it is, you laugh with gusto, you have a dirty sense of humor, you have ambition and drive, endless energy, a strong passion for life, and you're totally unafraid to take on anyone or anything (like up-and-moving your family to Australia!!!).
Some of the best times of my life have been had with you: getting drunk with you and Christine on the night before my wedding and you guys oohing and aahing over me as I drunkenly strutted around in my wedding dress, then the hours-long conversation we all had as the guys sat in the kitchen wondering what in the hell we were cackling about (them, of course! LOL); you and me that weekend we first met, May long, sitting around the fire getting sloshed (why do these stories always involve alcohol? haha) with the guys from the next campsite as our obsessed boyfriends were out fishing, and I remember thinking Holy crap, she's just like me only cooler!; the drive back from Camrose, we talked the entire way, an extremely x-rated conversation I believe (hahahaha) that I could only have with you, because we are sooo alike; you coming up with the idea and spear-heading it, to make chocolates for my wedding and you came over and pretty much did it all yourself, us chatting the entire time; being pregnant together, calling each other to bitch about our backaches, and bellyaches, and what extreme headaches our men were being (lol)... Aaahh, the list goes on and on.
You know I love you Kell and miss you. Hope you are having the time of your life "down under" in Australia (hey, did you know that when I was in Vegas and saw the male revue Thunder from Down Under they said that term means something totally different to them *wiggling eyebrows*).
Call me!!
XOXO for the kidlets"
I'm not going to tag anyone else for this, so you can all rest easy, lol.
RULES!!
You get to send it to only 5 PPL ONLY not all the bloggers that wanna do it!
Rule number two: just write, don't keep anything inside!!
Rule number three HAVE FUN!!
OKAY, TOPIC: pick a person, ONE PERSON, that we all know which is A BLOGGER THAT BLOGS!! IN BLOGGER OR WORDPRESS!! Only one!! and describe that person and tell her/him some stuff that you like about them and if there are any negative points then say them too!! and write the name!!
So because I only know one other blogger that you all will know, I will do her and that is my BFF Kelly Milne (her blog is Musing and Mutterings on blogspot, check it out).
"Kelly, you have been one of my closest friends for about ten years now. When we first met, I'll admit I was prepared to dislike you just because I had been friends with Curtis's previous girlfriend and so I felt some loyalty for her. But as soon as I met you, that first time, remember we all went camping May long, I knew you'd be a friend for life. You instantly reminded me of my mom, you had qualities that she has that I've always envied and admired.
You're BALLSY, you're not afraid to tell it like it is, you laugh with gusto, you have a dirty sense of humor, you have ambition and drive, endless energy, a strong passion for life, and you're totally unafraid to take on anyone or anything (like up-and-moving your family to Australia!!!).
Some of the best times of my life have been had with you: getting drunk with you and Christine on the night before my wedding and you guys oohing and aahing over me as I drunkenly strutted around in my wedding dress, then the hours-long conversation we all had as the guys sat in the kitchen wondering what in the hell we were cackling about (them, of course! LOL); you and me that weekend we first met, May long, sitting around the fire getting sloshed (why do these stories always involve alcohol? haha) with the guys from the next campsite as our obsessed boyfriends were out fishing, and I remember thinking Holy crap, she's just like me only cooler!; the drive back from Camrose, we talked the entire way, an extremely x-rated conversation I believe (hahahaha) that I could only have with you, because we are sooo alike; you coming up with the idea and spear-heading it, to make chocolates for my wedding and you came over and pretty much did it all yourself, us chatting the entire time; being pregnant together, calling each other to bitch about our backaches, and bellyaches, and what extreme headaches our men were being (lol)... Aaahh, the list goes on and on.
You know I love you Kell and miss you. Hope you are having the time of your life "down under" in Australia (hey, did you know that when I was in Vegas and saw the male revue Thunder from Down Under they said that term means something totally different to them *wiggling eyebrows*).
Call me!!
XOXO for the kidlets"
I'm not going to tag anyone else for this, so you can all rest easy, lol.
Kenny is Awesome with a capital A
There was a Kenny vs Spenny episode a couple weeks ago, Who Can Piss Off More People, and it was probably one of the funniest ones I've seen yet (doesn't top the Who Can Wear A Dead Squid on Their Head the Longest episode, where Kenny spikes Spenny's juice with 4 hits of acid and makes him think its the effect of prolonged exposure to the squid's ink). I've put a clip on here of the episode (its part one, for parts two and three go to youtube) and it'll give you an idea of some of the stunts they were pulling to piss people off.
Spenny, being the decent guy he is, can't really think of anything to do that will majorly piss people off, so he gets a guy to give him tips. Goes out on the street wearing a sign saying "Women are stupid", that gets him lots of points. He unintentionally stops traffic when he double parks his car so he can get out and talk to some guys working, that gets him some points from the people in their cars.
But nothing, NOTHING, tops what Kenny does. He's a natural-born asshole so his ideas come naturally and they are awesome! He does a whole bunch of stuff, like swiping the stuff off the desks of the girls who work for the show, pisses off a whole baseball team by taunting them and ends up getting his ass kicked. Then he gets the totally awesome idea to "stall" his van in the middle of the busiest intersection in downtown Toronto, lifts up the hood and makes gestures like he doesn't know what to do, then just runs off, meanwhile the entire traffic has come to a standstill and people are going insane!!
Then he goes to a Toronto Blue Jays baseball game, they were playing Seattle I think, wearing the opposing teams colors, carrying a Go Seattle sign, sits in the bleachers with everyone else cheering on the Blue Jays and he stands up, booing the Blue Jays and cheering on Seattle. The Jumbotron (or whatever its called) pans to him, he starts acting the part of the major asshole, the entire stadium is booing him, THEN he goes after the Blue Jays mascot and starts beating him up. People are like literally wanting to kill him.
But then, THEN, he came up with the evilest (literally) idea ever: how to piss off the entire city of Toronto?? He hires one of those airplanes that pull advertisements behind them, gets it to do the rounds of the entire city for the whole day. People are calling in to radio stations, its on the news, everyone absolutely hates this guy. What did he put on there, you ask? "JESUS SUCKS!!"
Omg it was hilarious!!! You have to watch it, seriously. I LOVE this show!!
So this makes me ask, have any of YOU guys ever done something to intentionally piss someone off, and what was it? Let me know in the comments!!
P.S. I don't really count in this because I do stuff every day to intentionally piss off my hubby, like backtalk him, or make fun of him when he loses his keys or wallet, or even defend whoever or whatever he's currently ranting about. Why do I do this? Because I like getting him all riled up, then taking my punishment like the bad girl I am... heh. ;P
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Please do not discriminate against the "directionally challenged" - we have feelings too!
Friday was literally the day from HELL for me. It didn't start off that way, no, I was lulled into thinking I'd have a great, laid-back day. The kids didn't have school so we all slept in, lounged around for a bit, it was nice. I knew we'd have to leave here around 10:30am for Gunnar's game at noon in Innisfail, so I made sure everyone was showered, dressed, fed, packed and ready to go by 10. Awesome! We left here, on time, filled the tank with gas (only $50 - woot!!), then continued on our way. Took the turnoff for Hwy 2 North, got the tunes going, it was great. We passed Lacombe, no signs for Innisfail. Kept going, thinking we'd see a sign in a little bit. Time passed, no Innisfail sign, but I did see a Morningside sign. Uh oh, I'm thinking, that can't be right. Tried to call my mom (no answer, didn't bother leaving a message), then called Levi. He's a guy, he's probably been down every road in Alberta, he'd know where I went wrong. As soon as I asked what Hwy 2 turnoff you should take to get to Innisfail, he burst out laughing and replied, "Let me guess, you took the North turnoff? Bwahahahahaha!! Don't you remember going to Spruceview as kids for Sunday-morning breakfast with Gramma Hattie and Grandpa Barney? Don't you remember it was South?" Awww CRAP!!! Found an exit ramp so I could turn around. By this time, it was almost 11:30, the time when Gunnar should already be AT the arena, getting dressed. Gunnar was so disgusted with me he wouldn't even look at me.
So we continued on, finally I saw the sign for the Innisfail exit in 2 kms. Suddenly there was an exit, but it couldn't have been 2 kms already!! So I carried on, saw a sign for Innisfail South, but we don't want to go to South Innisfail so I carried on past that one too. Only then did I realize my horrible mistake. So we had to carry on to BOWDEN, turn around, and head back to Innisfail. Took the South exit (didn't want to risk going past Innisfail again) but then we spent like 20 minutes driving around looking for the arena. Finally found it. By this time it was like 12:30. Gunnar was soooo mad at me he was almost crying. So we missed the first period.
And just to top my day off, when we finally took our seats in the stands, I went to open Lena's Sprite bottle and the damn thing exploded all over me!!!
So we continued on, finally I saw the sign for the Innisfail exit in 2 kms. Suddenly there was an exit, but it couldn't have been 2 kms already!! So I carried on, saw a sign for Innisfail South, but we don't want to go to South Innisfail so I carried on past that one too. Only then did I realize my horrible mistake. So we had to carry on to BOWDEN, turn around, and head back to Innisfail. Took the South exit (didn't want to risk going past Innisfail again) but then we spent like 20 minutes driving around looking for the arena. Finally found it. By this time it was like 12:30. Gunnar was soooo mad at me he was almost crying. So we missed the first period.
And just to top my day off, when we finally took our seats in the stands, I went to open Lena's Sprite bottle and the damn thing exploded all over me!!!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Learn from my mistake, people
You know, I can count on one hand the number of times I've had my hair professionally dyed in a salon. And while the result has always been great, I always think, when I get the bill, "What a rip-off!" Which is why I usually dye my own hair in the comfort of my own bathroom for a fraction of what it costs in a salon. And usually I am happy with the results.
But lately I've noticed something disturbing. The last time I home-dyed my hair, for some insane reason my roots turn out a different color that the rest of my hair. I had chosen a lovely reddish-blondish-brown color ("spiced tea"), if that makes sense. It didn't turn out as blond as the lady on the box-cover, but I was happy with it. Well, I should clarify, the bottom length of my hair didn't pick up the blond, my bangs and roots totally did. It was weird-looking for the first week, until enough of the dye faded so my roots and bangs blended in with the rest.
My hair has a real tendency to pick up any red-tones in dye. And usually I like that, being a red-head is fun and gives me a great excuse for my temper. Haha! So when I noticed the other day that my hair color was really faded, I picked up another box of hair dye, this time I chose a really nice mahogany-brown. On the box cover, it looked like a chocolate-y brown.
Only this time the results were horrible! My hair chose to pick up MAJOR red-tones instead of brown. My bangs and roots are the color of a penny (that's the closest color estimate I can come up with) while the bottom half of my hair is brownish-red. It looks weird! It looks funny! Hubs (that's my new nickname for Tyler) didn't say a word, I don't know if its because he's just that oblivious or because he's learned from past mistakes in critiquing my hairstyle-and-color choices.
I'm hoping that in a week or so, the rest of my hair will blend in with the roots. If not.... I'm gonna have to take to wearing hats. I'll be the crazy-hat lady of Sylvan. I should raid Deanna's closet, see if she still has that "Bad Hair Day" ball cap. Its an idea, anyway.
But lately I've noticed something disturbing. The last time I home-dyed my hair, for some insane reason my roots turn out a different color that the rest of my hair. I had chosen a lovely reddish-blondish-brown color ("spiced tea"), if that makes sense. It didn't turn out as blond as the lady on the box-cover, but I was happy with it. Well, I should clarify, the bottom length of my hair didn't pick up the blond, my bangs and roots totally did. It was weird-looking for the first week, until enough of the dye faded so my roots and bangs blended in with the rest.
My hair has a real tendency to pick up any red-tones in dye. And usually I like that, being a red-head is fun and gives me a great excuse for my temper. Haha! So when I noticed the other day that my hair color was really faded, I picked up another box of hair dye, this time I chose a really nice mahogany-brown. On the box cover, it looked like a chocolate-y brown.
Only this time the results were horrible! My hair chose to pick up MAJOR red-tones instead of brown. My bangs and roots are the color of a penny (that's the closest color estimate I can come up with) while the bottom half of my hair is brownish-red. It looks weird! It looks funny! Hubs (that's my new nickname for Tyler) didn't say a word, I don't know if its because he's just that oblivious or because he's learned from past mistakes in critiquing my hairstyle-and-color choices.
I'm hoping that in a week or so, the rest of my hair will blend in with the roots. If not.... I'm gonna have to take to wearing hats. I'll be the crazy-hat lady of Sylvan. I should raid Deanna's closet, see if she still has that "Bad Hair Day" ball cap. Its an idea, anyway.
Yummmmy
To switch things up a bit this morning I decided to try something different, something new, something exciting (yes, this passes as exciting in my little world)....
Instead of putting french vanilla in my coffee, as usual, I put in some candy-cane eggnog! You can pick up little 1 litres of it from No Frills; it was on sale a while back so I picked up like six. But get this -- the expiry date on it is for April 2009! And it doesn't require refrigeration (until you open it), isn't that weird? Its not like regular eggnog in that way. Makes you wonder what the heck its made of, certainly not milk.
Its sooooo good, the kids are obsessed. Its very thick and sweet though, like regular eggnog, so I make my kids mix it half-and-half with skim milk.
But yeah, so I'm having it in my coffee and for some strange reason, it makes my coffee taste like I spiked it with booze! Seriously! I've been trying to figure out what booze it tastes like, the closest I can come up with is Kahlua. So if you're the type who always adds booze to your coffee (mom), you should try this as an alcohol-free alternative. Yum!
Instead of putting french vanilla in my coffee, as usual, I put in some candy-cane eggnog! You can pick up little 1 litres of it from No Frills; it was on sale a while back so I picked up like six. But get this -- the expiry date on it is for April 2009! And it doesn't require refrigeration (until you open it), isn't that weird? Its not like regular eggnog in that way. Makes you wonder what the heck its made of, certainly not milk.
Its sooooo good, the kids are obsessed. Its very thick and sweet though, like regular eggnog, so I make my kids mix it half-and-half with skim milk.
But yeah, so I'm having it in my coffee and for some strange reason, it makes my coffee taste like I spiked it with booze! Seriously! I've been trying to figure out what booze it tastes like, the closest I can come up with is Kahlua. So if you're the type who always adds booze to your coffee (mom), you should try this as an alcohol-free alternative. Yum!
Monday, December 1, 2008
Well, I did it...
Today was THE DAY, you know, the day the JW was to come over for a "visit" and the day I was going to get the guts to tell her I wasn't interested. And I did it!
She was to come over around 11am and at 9am I decided to call her to say what I had to say over the phone. Because I'm a chicken, and I knew I'd never be able to say all I had to say in person, looking into her big blue eyes. As I was dialing, I repeated my mantra "You can do it, you know what you need to say, you can do it...". It rang and rang and rang -- please, oh please let the answering machine come on.
Sure enough, it did, and I said my spiel, making sure to let her know I would still be a friend if she was interested, seeing as we have a lot in common outside of religion, and that she could come over to visit with her kids whenever and all the kids could play together. I felt real bad for 'leading her on' like that, but oh well.
Then I started worrying that maybe she was out-and-about Christmas shopping (then I realized JW's don't celebrate Christmas), but maybe she was out doing something and was planning to stop here without going home and hearing my message. But 11am came and went and I knew she must have heard it. So I probably broke someone's heart today, but at least I stayed true to my own.
She was to come over around 11am and at 9am I decided to call her to say what I had to say over the phone. Because I'm a chicken, and I knew I'd never be able to say all I had to say in person, looking into her big blue eyes. As I was dialing, I repeated my mantra "You can do it, you know what you need to say, you can do it...". It rang and rang and rang -- please, oh please let the answering machine come on.
Sure enough, it did, and I said my spiel, making sure to let her know I would still be a friend if she was interested, seeing as we have a lot in common outside of religion, and that she could come over to visit with her kids whenever and all the kids could play together. I felt real bad for 'leading her on' like that, but oh well.
Then I started worrying that maybe she was out-and-about Christmas shopping (then I realized JW's don't celebrate Christmas), but maybe she was out doing something and was planning to stop here without going home and hearing my message. But 11am came and went and I knew she must have heard it. So I probably broke someone's heart today, but at least I stayed true to my own.
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