Monday, December 15, 2008

And the winner for the World's Worst Mother Ever is....!

I seriously debated whether or not to do this post. I know when the "event" that got me nominated in the first place occurred, I told everyone there "Well, at least I have another blog post out of this!" But afterwards, when the crushing guilt and shame abated (it will NEVER go away though, I'll carry this in my heart forever), I was so embarrassed, so humiliated that I didn't want all you readers to know. But then I thought that this could be a lesson for all you parents out there, so you would never do what I did, or if you have done this, maybe you wouldn't feel so bad because there's another dummy out there who's done the same.

So let's call the event my "Home Alone" moment. Here's what happened...

It was Friday night, Family Dinner night to all us family members. Tyler had come home from work early that day and had taken Milena out for a long quad ride around town. They were gone about an hour. After they came home, Lena went straight for a nap. Around that time, the boys came home from school, Ardan got ready for hockey practice as he had to leave in half an hour. Tyler took him to the arena and I stayed home with the three kids. Ryder woke up from his nap (Lena was still sleeping) and Gunnar and I puttered around.

Around 5:45, I realized we needed to get our butts in motion so we wouldn't be late for FD. We were rushing around, I remembered I had to bring a few things for Levi to take to Trapper up in Edmonton. Went out, got the vehicle warmed up, loaded everything in. Got Ryder all dressed in his winter gear, Gunnar and I got our stuff on, and away we went!

We got to my mom's, took off all our stuff, and got busy with visiting and chatting. After being there for about ten minutes, my mom said, "Everyone, come out to the livingroom and look at my tree! Kids! Come on! Hey, where's Lena?"

OMFG!!!!! WHERE THE HELL WAS LENA?!?!

Back at home, sleeping soundly in her bed.

I totally did the "KEVIN!!" thing from Home Alone -- slapped my hands to my face, totally horrified, screamed, "LENA!! I left her at home sleeping! Holy shit!"

Meanwhile, everyone is laughing hysterically at me. I threw my coat back on, grabbed my keys, on my mad run out to the vehicle I slipped on the deadly patch of ice in front of my mom's garage and did a facer into the huge snowdrift, jumped back up covered in snow head-to-toe, and raced back home. The whole time I was screaming at myself, "Stupid! Worst mother EVER! How the hell could you do that? OHMYGOD Tyler and Ardan are coming back from hockey! Shit! Ohgod, please let me get there before they do! Please let her still be sleeping and not crying hysterically or out wandering outside looking for me!"

Got home (Tyler wasn't there yet), raced inside, woke Lena up from a sound sleep, shoved her body into some warm clothes, carried her outside to the vehicle still half-asleep, and raced back to mom's, taking the other way around the block so if Tyler was coming he wouldn't see me leaving.

Got back to mom's, threw open the door, "The World's Worst Mother Ever is back!" -- and there were Tyler and Ardan. "Huh, what do you mean by that?" Here, they'd shown up just as I'd left, and my entire family covered for me when Tyler wondered why Ryder and Gunnar were there but I wasn't ("Oh, she had to go home because she forgot something"). So if I would have kept my trap shut I could have got off scot-free but no. I then had to explain to my husband that yes, I had left my sleeping 3-year old home alone and that was why I was the World's Worst Mother Ever. He actually took it surprisingly well.

So there you have it. I've definitely done many many things over these past ten years that qualified me for World's Worst Mother Ever, but this certain "event" brought me home the trophy.

What about you guys? Anyone else have a horror story to tell and make me feel a little better about myself?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

A 10-20 minute HOME ALONE moment doesn't beat my record, BeauSaxon. What about leaving your six month old baby, who's in his stoller, outside by the firepit so you can party hard with at least 50 other people then waking up the next morning going OHMYGOD, where's Levi?

Mark told me that's where the ASSUME phrase comes into play (I assumed he tucked Levi into bed, he assumed I tucked Levi into bed) ie., don't ever assume because it makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me." Thank goodness there's someone out there who didn't assume the mother of this baby, sleeping soundly in his stoller outside by the firepit, would be back to tuck him into his bed!

WildGirl said...

Okay, that DOES make me feel better, haha.