The little DICKens!

You know who I'm talking about. Its a good thing he's adorable is all I'm sayin'...

There we were in the Parkland Mall bathroom. Due to an unexpected feminine emergency that made itself known as the children and I visited with Mall Santa, I'd rushed us all into the bathroom immediately afterwards. Into the handicap stall so Lena and Ryder wouldn't be all crammed in next to me. I (stupidly, I realize now) instructed them to stand by the far wall and for Lena to keep Ryder occupied. (This was done so they both wouldn't just stand there and stare at me!)

Ryder decided to occupy himself by walking over to the door and investigate the handle by turning it back and forth. It was like it all happened in slow motion...

The door slowly started to swing open...

Ryder stepped back to watch the door open wide, all the way.

Lena stood there and watched.

I hunched down on the pot, like that would somehow prevent the room's occupants from seeing me, and literally SQUEALED, "Aaiiiiieeee!! Lena! Close the door!" [I have never in my life heard that high-pitched sound come out of my mouth and I hope to never again.]

Someone outside the stall laughed. DAMN YOU!

Lena slowly sauntered over and took her sweet time closing and locking the door.

In real-time it all probably happened in 20 seconds, but to me it was like an hour. My face was beet red. I didn't want to leave the stall and face those people, especially the jerk that laughed. I quickly finished up and ushered the kids out so we could wash our hands.

I could feel everyone's amused eyes on me, so I took a deep breath, threw back my head and with a breezy smile on my face I exclaimed to the room, "Oh my god, out of all 4 kids he is the FIRST to do that me!"

And we all laughed, shook our heads at little Ryder (who, of course, looked adorably innocent and sweet) and a few even told their own stories of child-induced embarrassments.

So the moral of the story, for all you parents or future-parents of toddlers, is this: keep the kid next to you. Or, much easier, birth control.