Five Question Friday

1. Did you have a pen pal when you were little (or now)? Where were/are they from?

I had totally forgotten until just now that I DID have a penpal, two actually! The school started a penpal program and we could choose one from a long list; I chose a girl from Thailand. I must admit she was better at the whole penpal thing than I was -- she would send me letters with little gifts enclosed, usually origami animals or beautifully decorated bookmarks that she made herself. I was always in awe that she made those things! And her letters were always so neatly printed and full of really interesting things about her daily life. Mine were utterly boring, I'm sure; talk about school and friends, life on an acreage, boys. Maybe to her they were interesting, just because our lives were so different, who knows. I would recieve a letter from her probably about once every couple of months or so. My letters in return were more sporadic, usually when I finally remembered to reply. Bad me! The other penpal I had was from Australia, I think. Only corresponded with her a couple of times then I think we both sort of lost interest. Eventually my Thai penpal quit corresponding, I think because she graduated (she was older than me, obviously), but we had a good two-or-three year run.



2. If you could do a different job for one day, what would it be?
Sometimes I think I'd like to try nursing. This is usually brought on by being on the recieving end of a really special nurse who has made an impact on me. When I was in labor with Gunnar, I had a Scottish nurse who took me under her wing, I was a scared-shitless eighteen year old going through this scary process and she comforted me like I was her own daughter; and yet she wasn't afraid to scold me when I said "I can't do this!" or to give me tough-love encouragement ("You got yourself into this, you can darn well finish it!" and that was exactly what I needed to hear). Something about nurses like that make one think that if you have those qualities of empathy and encouragement, that you could help someone else like that. Of course, then I remember that I don't take demands very well and that people start to annoy me after a while. Nurses are a very special breed and I honestly don't think I have the capacity to be a truly good one.

3. Do you remember your biggest fear from when you were little?
Being kidnapped or else having my mom or brothers die. I used to have nightmares about that all the time.



4. What do you think is a waste of time? Why?
Trying to reason with a bratty kid. I know that sounds harsh, but its true. I always see kids having meltdowns and the parent is practically kissing their ass to get them to behave. I call that a "first-time parent thing", haha. And yes, I do remember doing that as well. When we just had Gunnar and I had it in my head that I would be the best parent ever, I would do everything the child-rearing books said, try to reason with him, calm him down, promise this and that, try to talk it out with him. Once I had more kids, I realized that's all just a waste of time. What a kid in melt-down mode really needs is for the parent to step in, set firm guidelines and then follow through.
In most cases, the child's emotions are raging out of control, they don't know how to process what they're feeling, usually they can't even identify what exactly it is they're feeling. I remember teaching Gunnar the difference between feeling angry, confused, sad, jealous, nervous (remember? "nervous and allergic"?? lol), so that when he did get overwhelmed with emotion, he could use his words to describe why he was upset. So I'm a big advocate of taking a firm hand during tantrums. And I don't mean beating the child or anything like that. I just mean, recognizing that the situation has gotten out of hand, that no amount of talking or reasoning is going to help, and that sometimes you just have to say "Enough!", take the child to a quiet place, tell them you will come back when they have calmed down enough to talk, and then follow through. I do not believe in spanking during tantrums. A tantrum is usually just an overflow of confusing emotions being expressed the only way a child knows how; I would never punish the child for that. Spanking is saved for situations when its called for, like intentionally hurting someone, doing something self-harmful like running into the street when a car is coming, etc.



5. What is the oldest item you have in your closet?
I have a pair of white jeans, size 30, from before I had Gunnar. I remember buying them for the start of grade 12 and they were my absolute favorite pair of jeans. I looked hot in them. So I've kept them for all these years because they're my "one day" jeans. One day I'll be able to wear them again, hahah. I also have a really cute jean jacket from those days as well.