"Mom, I'm boooored..."

When I was growing up, us kids learned pretty darn fast not to say we were bored if my mom was anywhere in the vicinity, unless we wanted to do things like organize the storage bins in the barn or pick rocks in the ditch. So I've tried my best to instill that same fear in my kids. LOL! Here are some of the responses I've come up with when my kids make that mistake and I hear that b-word come out of their mouths.

• "You're bored? Me too! Let's watch a movie. What! Really? No, I meant go clean your room." ('cause I'm mean like that, lol)


• "Here's the vacuum, get to it. And don't forget the baseboards!"


• "Perfect! Being bored means you're actually tired. Naptime!"


• "Okay good, see this huge pile of unopened mail from the last two weeks? You can read, right? Anything that says 'Congratulations, you've won...' goes in this here garbage pile, anything in an envelope goes here, and the rest is litter-box liners. Get to it!"


• "When I was a kid and I was bored, my dad made me write lines...Wait, where are you going? Stop running and get back here...!"


• "You know what? Its about time you learned how to fold! Lets start with mom's bras and panties, okay? Darnit, stop running away all the time!"


• "I think I saw a Monopoly game downstairs - what do you mean Monopoly sucks? I'll have you know I played Monopoly when I was a kid and I loved it! Okay, you're right, it DOES take forever to finish, and I guess it IS pretty frustrating always being sent to jail. And hey, just because someone is the banker doesn't mean they always cheat and sneak $500 bills when no one is looking! I did that one time, c'mon! Okay, FINE, you're right, Monopoly sucks!"


• "Well, how about some icecream? Doesn't a nice big fat bowl of icecream with whipped cream and chocolate sauce and sprinkles sound great? Don't you wish you could have some right now? (pause) Too bad 'cause we don't have any!" *sound of kids crying while you laugh maniacally* (This is actually an inside joke in my family, love you Dad!)