Sunday, August 29, 2010

He's the Awesomest!

On Tuesday, the kids and I went in to Chapters so I could pick up the just-released Immortals After Dark book by Kresley Cole ('Demon From the Dark' -- sooo good!). After I found my book, I went to the kids section with the crew. Of all things, they had a huge Thomas the Train track set up, so of course Ryder just had to play and play and play with it. I sat down to start reading my book as the kids played and explored. A hugely-pregnant woman sat down beside me and struck up a conversation. (Of course, part of me -- the selfish, obsessed part -- just wanted to be left in peace to read my new book!) But I'm a decent person so I set down my book and we talked. And talked and talked. And during that convo, I learned that her little guy, who was playing alongside Ryder with the trains, had been potty-trained last year, when he was four-and-a-half. Hell no am I waiting another two years for Ryder to be potty-trained, I thought. She said she tried everything, then one day she told him that for every time he went #2 in the potty, he'd get a new Thomas train.

Flash-forward past the HUGE tantrum Ryder threw when I pried him away from the Thomas trains, past the punches and kicks and scratches he threw at me, past the horrible drive home with a screaming two-year-old...

So we get home, I give the bribe, and little Ryder is just ecstatic. "A new Thomas train? For going poop in the potty?" And it was like a light went off above his little head, right then and there he suddenly got it. Whipped off his pants and diaper, hauled himself up onto the toilet, and let a huge plopper go!

"WHOO-HOO!" we all danced around and made a huge production of it. Ryder was so proud. An hour later, he was back on the pot, going pee this time. I was dumbfounded. So then I thought I'd really put him to the test -- nap time. Laid him down in his new gonchies on a thick, folded towel, told him to wake up if he had to go pee, and then I began the waiting-game.

Three hours the little guy slept. Three hours in which I was tempted to wake him up to remind him about going pee, but restrained myself (somehow). Suddenly, I heard noises coming from the bathroom. Rushed in there and saw Ryder sitting on the toilet with a huge rush of pee coming out. It must've lasted for a whole minute! Looked at the bed - DRY. He passed the test! I was just completely astounded. NONE of the other children would've passed that test ON THE VERY FIRST DAY OF POTTY-TRAINING. None. That is something a potty-training child doesn't usually accomplish for months. And all that night, whenever he felt the urge, into the bathroom he'd run and do his thing. We were all completely amazed!

The next day was another test -- would he remember all he'd learned or revert back to his diaper ways? PASSED THE TEST, with flying colors. He woke up with a dry diaper (we're talking a 10-hour sleep here), immediately ran to the toilet and went #1 AND #2! He went all day without one single accident. I was just speechless. "Now why couldn't all you kids learn as quickly as Ryder, hmmm?"

So Day 3 of potty-training came and with it, another test -- a trip to Red Deer. I still had him in a diaper, just in case, but wouldn't you know it, the little bugger did it! He made it all through the drive into RD, all through our wait at the walk-in clinic (THAT story deserves its own post), and it wasn't until we went to Deanna's afterward that he finally broke the seal. Well, there's a funny story behind that. He came running up to Deanna and I, buck naked, and when I asked where his diaper was he said, "I took it off because I had mustard on my dink!" Wait, WHAT?! I found the diaper, DRY, out on her front lawn. What the heck? And there, sitting on the grass beside the diaper, were two giant TURDS. The little stinker had to go, obviously couldn't remember where Gramma's bathroom was (or else the urge was just too strong), whipped off his diaper and just let it rip, right there on the lawn. (Deanna and I agreed later that at least he knew enough not to do it on the floor in the house! lol) So picture me, gagging as I gingerly used wipes to pick up the turds.

And each day brings another test of some kind, and the boy wonder continues to pass them. I can now say that little Ryder is COMPLETELY potty-trained, and all in less than a week! Five days, to be exact.

I am the proudest mother ever. I just want to shout it from the rooftops, "My two-year-old is smarter than YOUR two-year-old, take that suckas!"

Who would've thunk that my fourth child would completely blow his siblings outta the water when it came to potty-training?

(Each child has their own "potty-training story" that during the past week, they've been proudly -- why? -- telling and retelling: Gunnar's bribe was M&Ms, Ardan's motivation was aiming his pee at Cheerios in the toilet, and Lena "only wanted to poop in the bath". Kids, eh?)

Of course, now I owe the little guy a TON of Thomas trains, doh!

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