I am a computer WHIZ

If you've seen any of my facebook statuses from the last week, you'll know what I was dealing with regarding Gunnar's computer.


If you haven't, here's the short story: his laptop was hijacked by viruses, worms, malware, spyware, etc. Basically, everything that can destroy your computer. The little brat didn't have antivirus and was cruising porn sites. What else did he expect? GAH! All of his programs and applications were missing, couldn't open anything, and I kept getting pop-ups telling me 'application not found', 'cannot open', etc. With the knowledge and help of a fb friend, I downloaded on disc and (in safe mode) installed three separate programs to help me deal with all these problems: SuperAntispyware, MalwareBytes Anti-Malware, and Avast antivirus protection. Took me almost a full day, but those 3 programs removed over 800 infected files. 


I was riding high on triumph and pride. Had gotten his computer pretty much restored, just had a few things left to figure out (like how to move his programs and applications back into the All Programs on the Start menu). 


Suddenly an Avast window popped up informing me a rootkit virus had been discovered and removed, and the laptop now required a reboot. Upon restarting however, I was horrified to see the Blue Screen of Death!! It advised restarting the computer; did that, the BSoD kept appearing. Got more advice from my fb friend but nothing worked, the computer was too damaged. Looks like I'll be taking it in to a real computer techie.


BUT... all this researching and downloading inspired me to try to 'fix' the other two computers. The desktop in the livingroom is very old, very cluttered with files, runs verrrry slow, and the internet connection is slow sometimes (even though its connected via cable, so should be lightning quick). My laptop is pretty fast with not that many files or programs, but it still needed a good antivirus program (had installed Avast on it as well but with that rootkit virus destroying Gunnar's laptop, I was suddenly unsure about its competency).


I went to PCworld (my new favorite site for anything computer-related) and found a program called Security Task Manager (I found a free 30-day trial version). This program "gives a wealth of detail about each program and process [running on your computer, many without your knowledge], including whether the program is likely malicious or not, and it lets you delete any program and process with a single click. You'll get an enormous amount of detail about what's running, including the manufacturer, type of program, how it started (for example upon startup or from within Windows Explorer), and the file name. It also rates files according to how harmless or malicious they may be. To stop a program, highlight it and click remove, and you're done."


So I used that program to remove several unused, unimportant, unnecessary-to-the-system programs and applications, as well as some broken file fragments. I like that it shows you, highlighted in red, which ones are the most suspicious; as well, other users rate how dangerous they consider that program/process which helps you to make your decisions about what stays and what goes. One thing I would DEFINITELY advise is to open up a new window and google the name of each program/process BEFORE deleting or quarantining it, as some have weird and misleading names that make you think they are 'bad'. For example, I almost removed my laptop's wireless capabilities because I didn't realize that's what it was (you'd think it would be labelled 'wireless' or something obvious, but no). Security Task Manager also creates system restore points before each deletion/removal, so if you suddenly think 'Crap, what have I done?', you can go back and do a restore.


Next thing I did was to remove all the antivirus, antispyware, and antimalware programs I'd installed and instead download & install Microsoft's Security Essentials, which is completely FREE but you have to have a genuine Windows program on your computer (XP, 7, etc). This program guarantees: real-time protection, system scanning, system cleaning, Windows Firewall integration, dynamic signature service, rootkit protection, protection against real threats (not good software), and network inspection system. And because its from Microsoft, I know I can trust it to do its job, and do it well. 


Okay, so with my computer now cleaned up and protected, the next thing to do was secure my wireless connection. I'd already secured it somewhat about a year ago using WEP, but in my online wanderings I learned that WPA or WPA2 is much more secure. Apparently, WEP can be cracked within a minute, huh. So this process involved getting out the linksys installation manual and following the steps, very very easy. 


Lastly, I wanted to figure out how to get rid of the annoying pop-up windows that never failed to appear upon start-up, along the lines of 'unable to locate component for this application because  this .dll file not found'. (Dynamic Link Library (dll) files are an essential part of the Windows operating system.) On the laptop I would always get two such notices, on the desktop there were three. I wrote down the specific dll files and applications, googled them, and just followed the instructions. The newest Apple update (for itunes) has an error in it that mistakenly places a certain dll file in the wrong place (the application is AppleSyncNotifier, if you're experiencing any pop-ups with that). Its as simple as locating the dll file stated (do a Search from your start menu), copying it, and pasting to the correct folder. Restart the computer and voila, no more annoying pop-ups!


So yeah, there ya go, am I not a computer whiz? What can I say...


 

Let me tell you a little story...

There was once a really stupid girl

Hey, how's it goin?

who, after listening to a much more computer-savvy person than herself talk about removing programs to make a computer run faster, decided to fiddle around with the files and programs on her own computer. She saw a program that she was sure was from her old modem, the one no longer in use because Shaw had given her a new one. So she hit 'uninstall'.

The next thing she knew, the wireless internet icon, in the bottom right corner of her system tray, just vanished. Poof! gone... "Unable to connect to internet" and "no wireless networks detected" were all she could get, and even the wireless icon under Network Connections in the Control Panel was gone.

WHAT HAD SHE DONE?!?!

Three hours later, after multiple frantic searches on the computer to retrieve the lost program, after trying to set up a new network and wireless connection (no dice), after talking to a Shaw guy who was unable to help her, after setting up the laptop downstairs to see if it still received the wireless connection (it did), she realized the total enormity of just how much she had fucked up.

Just when all hope was lost, when she was just about to unplug all the computer cords and haul the big ole hard drive and monitor downstairs to hook it up manually to the modem so she re-install the router software, a thought came to her puny little mind...

SYSTEM RESTORE.

Voila! Everything back to normal. Wireless icon back on the system tray. Connectivity at excellent strength. It was like the whole nightmare situation had never occurred!

So let this be a lesson to y'all....

DON'T BE LIKE STUPID!

Ohforpitysakes...

The Shaw guy came over yesterday to set up our new digital phone, cable and internet lines (obvs, we've switched from Telus). I'd known he would be coming over and so had the boys do a clean-up of the downstairs while I did upstairs.

So the guy arrives, I see him get out of his van and the first thing I notice is wow, hubba hubba, he's got a set of shoulders and arms on him! So I do the natural woman-thing, run to the mirror to make sure the hair and face are okay. He comes in, we introduce ourselves and he gets right to work. Most of what he had to do was downstairs, fixing up the lines and whatnot, and so it was just natural that the kids and I hung out down there to watch him. I'm sure those guys hate that, being stared at and having people ask them hundreds of questions, but it was kind of cool what he was doing and the kids were in awe. Ardan said to him, "Wow, it must be hard to be a cable guy!" and Gunnar, because I had just told him about the movie Cable Guy and Jim Carrey's role in it, goes "Cay-bulll guyyyyyy" (like from the movie). The Shaw guy and I looked at him and burst out laughing, so Gunn thought he was the king-shit after that, haha. The guy kept up a steady chatter with me and the kids, commenting on my little 'musicians' (the drum set, keyboard and guitar) and he was in shock to hear I had a fourth kid (who was upstairs sleeping), haha.

So whatever, an hour had gone by, he's still working at it and then Tyler comes home early from work. It was funny but I was like 'Doh!' because now I'd have to really hide the fact that I was ogling this guy's upper body. Then I felt guilty for thinking like that (not guilty about the ogling though, hey, I can look!) and so I fussed and fawned over Hubs for a bit and then made the introductions. Ty and the cable guy got along like long-lost buddies, talking about fishing and camping and whatever. I was feeling very superfluous but no way was I going back upstairs.

Anyway, two hours had now gone by and the guy finished up with his work. He came upstairs to check that the internet was working and the three of us adults watched a bit of the Michael Jackson Memorial show on tv (the guys traded a few MJ jokes while I shook my head). We said our goodbyes and thank-yous, and then he was gone.

And then I happened to walk past the mirror in the hallway and noticed that the middle button on my shirt was undone, had in fact been undone almost the entire time! So my gaping shirt had been open in what probably looked like a blatant come-on or something, my bra totally showing and obvious, and there I had been, hanging out down there the entire time ogling his chest!!! And I can't believe that neither the kids or Hubs noticed, and told me!

**GROAN!!**

Parenting 101: The Internet & Your Child

There are times in a parents' life where you are confronted with a situation, and it suddenly hits you, "Holy crap, this is one of those moments that you always see on tv and that other parents talk about! Now I'm that parent! I have to figure out how to handle this. What did they say on that commercial? Doh!"

The other night I'd went downstairs to let the boys know it was time to hit the sack and as I knocked on their door then went in, I noticed Gunnar on the computer, hastily closing a window and trying to look nonchalant. Ahhhh crap... I busied myself tidying their room as they got ready for bed, then I casually asked, "So what were you doing on the computer, Gunnar? Nothing bad, I hope! Ha ha." half joking, half serious.

He mumbled and muttered, not quite giving me an answer, and so I told him he needed to show me. He looked so scared and guilty that I thought FOR SURE I'd find porn sites or naked chick pictures. Turns out he was online chatting, or instant messaging (IM), with a couple of girls from his school. I quickly skimmed through the conversations, and it was like suddenly I was transported back to grade five again, with all the drama and social politics and boy-girl dynamics.

So what did you do for Easter, Gunnar?
Nothing.
Do you miss school?
No.
Jenny won't stop calling me, its soooo annoying!
Oh.

I was a little confused at first about why Gunnar would be acting so "nervous and allergic" (family joke) about the IMs, but then it hit me. Holy crap, my ten year old boy is CHATTING ONLINE with people. I was now that parent, in that situation. All the warnings and advice on how to deal with it, ran through my head. I had to deal with this situation NOW, and I had no clue how to go about it.

Parenting is so much easier when you're doing simple things for your child like cooking meals, helping with homework, washing their clothes, or doing fun stuff like playing soccer or baseball with them, going quadding or fishing, all that. But then you come across a situation like this, and its hits you that this is what true parenting is all about. You must figure out some way to guide your child, to give them the advice, the words they need to hear to help them grow and mature. You have to give them solid boundaries of what is allowed and what's not, rules to keep them safe, yet you want to promote and encourage their independence and free-thinking. There is a fine line between keeping them safe and stifling them. I know this from my own experiences as a child and teenager, and so I'm always very careful when dealing with matters that are in that gray area.

So the first thing I did was have Gunnar go over the rules of internet safety with me. I know that his school is big on that and he had no problem rattling them off for me: never give out any personal information, such as address or phone number, don't chat online with people you don't know, etc. But most kids don't know that even telling someone something like the name of your sports team and what number you are, or where your next game is, or the name of your favorite park, those are all things that internet predators will ask on purpose so they can pinpoint your location. The main rule with internet chatting is that he is only allowed to IM with friends he knows from school, or hockey. No chat rooms. No making new friends online that you've never seen before and don't actually know. I rattled off another (made-up but probably somewhat true) fact that over half of all the people in 'kids' chat rooms are actually adults, internet predators disguising themselves as children so they can track down these kids and kidnap and molest them, sometimes even kill them. (That scared Gunnar, and it was good because I wanted him scared.)

The next matter I wanted to address with Gunnar was a little tricky. I told him that I understood if he got 'curious' sometimes, but that if he is going to inappropriate websites with sex and/or violence, that his computer records that information, and it becomes part of its history. And if the computer ever needs to be fixed, the technicians can see what sites have been visited, and he could get into trouble. (So I fudged the details a bit and didn't tell him you can delete the history, why would I?) This kind of freaked him out a bit and immediately he confessed that when one of their friends was over last week, the friend googled the word 'sex', and that both my boys had gotten mad at him and made him get off the computer. He didn't say whether or not they closed the window with the google search results, but I let the matter drop, haha.

I also told him that its possible for a parent to bring up any and all IM windows, from past to present, and read the full conversations. (I don't know if that's true or not, but its certainly an excellent deterrent for anything inappropriate.) But seeing the two IM convos he had going with those girls, I'm not too concerned about anything of a sexual nature. If anything, it was kind of cute and amusing, the girls were chatty and obviously desperate for Gunnar to actually "talk" to them; instead, he was being a typical 10y.o. boy with his mono-syllabic and dull answers. Yet another thing that brings me back to the days of calling up a boy and spending half an hour chatting his ear off while he says 'yes', 'no', 'okay'. Despite the one-sidedness of it though, both parties are usually satisfied. The girl is thinking 'He likes me!' and the boy is thinking the same.

So the next thing for me to do was to check his email inbox. And lucky for me, every single email he'd ever received since setting up his account was still in there. Turned out the poor kid didn't know how to delete them (kinda funny seeing as the 'delete' button was obvious). But before I looked at them all, before I even opened his account, I made sure to tell him that I didn't like having to invade his privacy like this, but as a parent I had to, for his own safety and protection. And that if I was going to discover anything inappropriate or of that nature, that he'd better tell me now and explain the circumstances of why he'd be receiving it and who would be sending it. Thank God he was able to tell me in utter honesty that there was nothing like that. I don't know how I would have handled that.

Most of the emails were from relatives, but I noticed that there were quite a few from those two same girls that he'd been IMing. Read through some of them, boring mindless drivel like 'this is the friendship circle, forward to ten people and you'll have good luck' -- ugh, I hate emails like that! I advised Gunnar to just instantly delete crap like that, don't even bother passing it on, its a total crock that you'll get bad luck or good luck or whatever. He agreed. I also told him that if he does choose to forward an email, that the first thing he should do is to delete all the email addresses of the prior recipients, because its kind of like invading their privacy to send an email to someone with huge massive lists of other people's emails addy's on there. That is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. If I get an email and I have to scroll down through hundreds of email addresses of total strangers, just to get to the message of the email, I usually just delete the email rather than read it. Sorry, but true!

I adjusted the safety and privacy controls on his email and IM account, we cleaned up the look of his contact list (took off all the last names of his friends, to protect their safety and privacy), etc. It was actually a lot of fun, me and Gunnar bonding over our love of computers, haha. Internet geeks, we called ourselves.

But you know, once he realized I wasn't there to lecture him, or punish him, or to prevent him from having an "electronic life", he totally chilled out and really listened to me. The things I was telling him, the advice, the hints and things I've learned to do and not to do, he actually appreciated. Of course, I had to warn him that, although I trust him to be 'safe' online and not act inappropriately, I still have the right to check his computer, with or without his knowledge, because I don't trust that others will do the same. And he understood.

Poor Gunnar. The first-born child is always the guinea pig for us parents, facing these first-time situations.