THE LIST: A new #1... Paul Marron

Sorry Adam Lambert, my love, my obsession, its time to move over and make way... there's a new #1 on The List and his name is Paul Marron. I am so obsessed with this guy, its not even funny. What is funny is how it all came about. 


I was on the Kresley Cole website, checking out the message boards for her newest IAD novel, Lothaire. Someone mentioned in a thread the name of the cover model, the Enemy of Old, Lothaire himself, Paul Marron. 

Isn't he beautiful, in a scary-evil-dangerous way? Just how I like em!

So I clicked on the link to his website and sat there for half an hour, browsing through all his pics and drooling heavily. Then one particular picture caught my eye and I realized in that pic, he looked amazingly similar to the cover model for the IAD novel featuring Cadeon Woede, Dark Desires After Dusk. That's when I realized, holy shit it WAS him! Cadeon is my absolute favorite IAD character, and I'll admit that a large part is due to how freakin' hot he is on the cover of the book. Okay, his personality and charm are awesome too, but check out that clenched jaw, *swoon* just wanna lick it (and maybe some other things, heh).

Back to the message boards I went, to create my very own thread about Mr. Hotness himself, Paul Marron. Another reader replied that he's been on many, many book covers, started listing them and I was like, 'Holy crap, that was him? I OWN those books, they're my favorites, I have lusty dreams about those super-hotties all the time!' So here, my favorite covers have all featured Paul! He has a unique, changeable quality to him that makes each character on each cover look different, and yet if you KNOW its him and take a closer look, you can recognize him. 


He is Rydstrom Woede on the cover of yet another IAD book, Kiss of a Demon King (my 2nd favorite IAD book); it just so happens Cadeon and Rydstrom are brothers. 




He's Rehvenge on JR Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood book, Lover Avenged.

He's been on countless Harlequin covers, historical romance novels, you name it. In my obsessive stalking, I mean research, I learned he's even been on a few of the raunchier e-books I own, only its been his body or back that was the focus, not his face.

There's WAY more, these are just a few.

The man is a GOD. I am in serious lust here. Could be because Hubs has been away for like ever but still, you can't deny it. 

So, back to Lothaire... Paul went on a book tour with author Kresley Cole across the US, visiting bookstores for meet & greets; ladies have been posting pics of themselves standing next to Paul (in full Lothaire character, down to the red contacts and black leather coat, yummmm). And they have their greedy, grasping hands and arms all over him, grrrr! That's MY man. I'm so jealous. Why can't KC come to Red Deer, Canada? Anyway, the consensus on Paul was that he was extremely nice and sweet, kinda shy (he blushed when KC's editor told him to open his leather coat and show everyone his abs, awwww), smelled amazing, was really tall, and took the time to talk to each lady and make her feel special. Now THAT definitely deserves the #1 spot on my List. Not many uber-hot male cover models would be so down-to-earth and kind. 

His career is not limited to romance covers though, oh no. My Paul is also the face of Undergear underwear for men (and omg how lucky are we that is a freaking Underwear Model), he does tons of magazines, he's even been in a movie! Ok, so it was one of those straight-to-dvd movies that the average person has never heard of (unless you're obsessed and happen to see some of the stills from the movie --- which I have posted below --- and become even more obsessed because oh-holy-freakin-god he's naked in parts of the movie, doing some chick, and where-oh-where can I get my pervy hands on that movie). 

BUT OMG YOU GUYS, GET THIS... to make my obsession even more fanatical, I mean fantastical, I learned that he created his own facebook page, after much prompting from fans and KC herself -- after his Lothaire cover -- and became a 'fan'. When I happened across his movie stills (the movie is called Playroom, I guess its pretty hardcore and not in the good sex-way, google it), I made a comment on his board, to the effect of: "Paul, you bad bad boy. Just saw the stills from your movie and uh, wow, where can I get a copy, wowza". A whole bunch of lady-fans 'liked' my comment and one in particular replied, we had a conversation, she said you can get the movie on amazon but I might want to fast-forward through the gruesome parts to get to naked Paul. Haha. SO THEN (and here's where I start hyperventilating)... I made another comment a few days later, asking if he ever modeled for Ellora's Cave books, but that they're pretty risque, not NYT Bestseller List fodder, def not mainstream, but that I'd love to see his face on the next EC book I download and, oh holy mother... HE RESPONDED TO MY COMMENT!!!

He said, "Negative, they are steamy tho... LOL"

This god of lust and washboard abs and rock-hard thighs and male perfection actually took the time out from his busy day to respond to MY comment. Little ole me. Maybe that means he even checked out my fb picture (which I have to admit, is pretty sweet). 

So I figure that him replying to my comment is like one degree of separation from us actually doing it, right? Haha. Shut up, that's what I'm going with. 

He's not just a pretty face, though. I feel I've gotten to know Paul (lol, I'm a loser) and by the videos he chooses to post on his fb page, he seems a very deep, introspective guy. And he likes Lamb of God, he's a self-professed metal-head. Which is cool. A person tends to think that super-hot male models are into techno and gay bars, right? 

Anyway, here's some more pics to make your day nice and steamy... and feel free to right-click-and-save for your very own fap-folder (haha, don't judge)...

Now for the really steamy ones, the ones that might give you heart palpitations...

Purple is my favorite color, how did he KNOW?! lol

I see a treasure-trail!

I wanna be invited to THIS slumber party! Who cares about the other lame pretty boys, I'm just lookin' at my boy's beautiful thighs and face (he's on the far left).

WARNING: the next few pics from his movie Playroom may cause the following reactions: dizziness, excessive drooling, racing heart, dirty thoughts, sweaty palms, feeling faint and lightheaded, a need for sudden and immediate privacy...

And now for the absolute show-stopper... brace yourselves, ladies...

Time to Catch-up

Hello everyone! Felt I should play catch-up, let you know what's new in my world...


Finally got new tires on the Suzi yesterday. After doing extensive research online for the best tire, best price, best place to purchase them from, I ended up choosing the Goodyear Assurance TripleTred tires, from Canadian Tire. Fountain Tire usually specializes in Goodyear tires but their price, even with the $25/tire discount, was still more than what Canadian Tire quoted. The CdnTire website had them listed at $181.99/tire, but get this! When I went in to order them (they didn't have them in stock), they gave me a quote of $177.99! So, even cheaper than the website price! I was pretty happy about that. The tires took two days, YES, two days, to come in. I was a little shocked. Here I was thinking they had to come from a warehouse in Ontario or something, stupid me. Haha. During my research, every website made sure to specify that if you have a TPMS (Tire Pressure Monitor System) you can expect an extra fee. Since I DO have a TPMS, I was thinking it would be like an extra $100 or something. However, when I asked CdnTire about this, the lady was adamant that they do not charge for that. (I was like, half-joking, 'Can I get that in writing?') So I got them installed yesterday, took them about an hour (during which time Ryder and I went down every aisle, Christmas shopping), and lemme tell you, my new tires are BEAUTIFUL! Haha. So black and new and shiny. The total cost, with labor and shop supplies (and yes, the lady was right, they did not charge for the TPMS), came to about $906. Pretty good, eh? The TripleTred tires are all-season, NOT a winter tire, but during my research I discovered that they do a pretty damn good imitation of winter tires. On a scale of 1-10 (10 is best), rated for snow, ice, rain, slush, they scored a 10 for each one. For 'sound' they scored a 7, for 'smoothness' (whatever that means) they scored an 8. So I consider the TripleTreds a hybrid winter/all-season tire. So the tires were installed and it was time to drive home. Anyone recall what the weather was like yesterday? Blowing snow and wind gusts of over 100km/h! Transport trucks were literally being flipped over by the wind on Hwy2. So I thought, 'Perfect weather to test out my new tires' and boy, were they ever tested! I could tell the difference immediately. No slipping or sliding on the snowy, ice streets. My Suzi took those corners like it was summer. Got to an intersection, driving behind a total idiot, and just as he's about to go through the light turned yellow. And what did the dipshit do? Slammed on the brakes! And that intersection was slick. If I would have had my old bald tires on, I would've slid right into the back of him. But with my new TripleTreds, screech! right to an instant stop. So right there, those tires paid for themselves. I am really impressed, and so much more confident about driving in our poor winter conditions. 


I have come to the conclusion that I can no longer eat chinese food. Ty discovered this new great restaurant in Red Deer called Wok Box, located in Southepoint Common across by Tony Romas. Its not your average chinese food place; its asian food inspired from places like Thailand, Japan, Singapore, Malaysia, Cambodia, China, Mongolia, Vietnam, and India. It is FABULOUS. We've ordered takeout from there a few times and its great because Ty can actually eat many of their dishes. So his new thing is bringing home Wok Box for supper, which he did last night. He usually gets the Family Feast, or whatever its called; it has everything from spring rolls, ginger beef, chicken balls, chow mein, fried rice, crispy wontons, coconut shrimp, beef & broccoli, malaysian stir-fry, etc etc etc. TONS of food, for like $50. So, great prices too. And it is delicious. BUT... last time we had it, I had some 'stomach issues' that night. Just attributed it to a stomach bug I must've picked up. However, last night after eating it, same problem. Like, immediately. So sadly, I think I can no longer eat Wok Box. Waaaaa....!


Pablo and Kippers escaped last night (I thought I heard meowing but the kids said no). I got up with Ty this morning around 4am, to make his sandwich and keep him company --- yes, apparently I CAN be a nice wife sometimes, who knew--- and when he went out to start his truck, in rushed Pablo. Kippers, I had to actually go outside and coax him to me, as Ty scared him away. So Ty carried Pabs into the kitchen and he goes, "What's that smell? Hey, what's on Pabby's back? HEY, WHAT'S ON MY CHEST AND HANDS?" Yes, Pablo had shit himself while outside (hey, maybe it kept him warm) and it was smeared all over his fur. His long, long fur. Poor Ty. Just like Dad, with the gagging and dry-heaves. So Pabs got locked in the laundry room until I could bathe him. Which I just did. And it was gross and traumatizing. Despite a couple wild escape attempts and the near-constant growling, Pabs actually did well, stayed in place so I could lather, scrub and scoop water on him. So now he's slinking around here like an embarrassed, wounded victim, 'You did me WRONG, bitch!' LOL. But he smells much better. 


Oh, and speaking of SHIT... the main toilet is plugged again. AGAIN. Did I not just go through this a few months ago? No amount of plunging or drain cleaner is fixing it, and I have, oh, just a teensy clue about who the culprit is. Ryder says to me, as I'm plunging and swearing and sweating, "Um, what would you say if I told you that mayyyyybe a toothpaste got ACCIDENTALLY flushed down there?" OhhhhhhMYGOD Ryder, seriously??? Again?!?! So it looks like I'm off to Rona for another wax ring, because that toilet needs to flipped over and flushed out, AGAIN. Oh, and in case you were wondering, YES, Ryder did get a 'serious lecture' about flushing non-poop-related items. (Remember when Levi was little and used to always tell Mom that so-and-so needed a 'serious lecture'? Good times.) 


I'm done Christmas shopping for Lena and Ryder. What a good feeling! Good thing she won't be reading this because its serious spoiler-alert time... I may have went a little overboard, like I always do, but I've picking up little things here-and-there for the past couple months, and they just get shoved into my closet so I tend to forget what all I've gotten. So Lena is getting pretty much everything she had on her list: a Justin Bieber barbie-doll, six Monster High dolls (one of each girl plus the only boy doll, which is a serious coup as the boy ones are all sold out now), two Baby Alive 'Crib Life' dolls (it was a set of twins, also sold out now), a Teacup Piggy mama with two baby piglets, the Justin Bieber Christmas cd, a Zhu-Zhu pet, a Christmas book, and a DS-XL starter kit to go with the new DS-XL she bought a while back (the set includes a case, headphones, charger, games container, etc). Ryder, the little BRAT (I'm still bitter about the toilet) is getting, not that he deserves it, a Thomas figurine 4-pack (includes Harold the Helicopter and the boat, which he doesn't have), the new Down With Webster cd -- he loves Big Wheels, its his new fave song "Cops up, cops up!", a Bop-It XT, a Cars Lightning McQueen activity set, a holographic Spiderman case for his DS, a Zhu-Zhu pet, Hot Wheels Showdown set, a Christmas book, and almost the full set of Star Wars figurines & vehicles. The Star Wars toys are small and almost cartoon-ified, geared toward little kids. There's the big Millenium Falcon with Han Solo and Chewbacca (the toy opens up and the figurines can 'play' in the command centre, etc), a Speeder Bike with Anakin, a Star Fighter with a different Anakin and C3PO, and then I got two sets of just figurines, Luke Skywalker, Yoda, R2D2 and another C3PO. The only thing that would make it a complete set was if there was a Darth Vader figurine & vehicle, but either it was sold out or Walmart doesn't carry it. Got a few things for Ardan as well: a Lego Alien Attack set, a MuchDance 2012 cd (he specifically asked for it, ugh), a 3DS starter set for his new 3DS which he bought with his own money, a little Betta aquarium for one of those fighting fish (which I'll get when its closer to Christmas day), and a remote-controlled car that follows a laser from the remote and can climb up walls (oh yay, probably will be regretting that). Gunnar, I got nothin'. He's so hard to buy for! He asked for a new set of boarding gloves from Nomads, that's it. He just wants money. *sigh* That's no fun! Whatevs. The only other thing Ardan has asked for is a Lego City Police Station set. So don't anybody be stealin' that idea from me! I'm a little desperate here for ideas for the boys' gifts. Picked up a few things from Cdn Tire for Hubs: a new black leather belt, a camouflage magnetic LED light, some ice-fishing stuff, and an electric shaver set that has different heads for precision trimming, ear/nose trimming (HA!), hair clippers, etc. He's also hard to buy for. Got myself a new Adam Lambert cd that I just happened to spy out of the corner of my little eye at Walmart. Also picked up a couple $5 gifts for our annual Christmas Eve party at Deanna's (they're really cute so keep an eye out for them, you'll probably want to 'steal' them). So I still have all the stocking stuffers to get (that requires a sans-kids trip to Dollarama), $20 gifts for the exchange at Julie's, gifts for Fred & maybe-Bunnie, and a few more things for Ty and the boys. But other than that, I'm done! lol


The CP Blakely Christmas concerts are on the next two Tuesdays: Lena's is Dec 6th and Ardan's is Dec 13. Probably at 7pm, like last year.


Ardan's homegame against Stettler tonight has been cancelled due to the weather and road conditions, still waiting to hear if Gunnar's homegame, also against a Stettler team (what are the odds), will be cancelled. (Oh, and if you're ever interested in finding out when/where the boys' games are, just go here for Ardan and here for Gunnar.) So this means we have all day to put up our Christmas stuff! We already have the big tree put up, just no ornaments yet. Sucks that I stored the xmas bins in the little closet beside the dryer, because that means I have to move both the washer and dryer just to get the bins out. Argh! The kids are super-excited and hyper about all this decorating, though. Really cute to see. They've really gotten into the Christmas spirit early this year. We've already watched the cartoon Grinch movie and the oldschool Rudolph show on tv. Lena walks around singing Christmas carols and Ryder is excited to make Santa a present out of playdough. We're also planning on crafting some ornaments and doing some baking as well. 


So there ya go. Now you're all caught-up on what's happenin' in the Kasha household. 

My brain & body don't get along :)

My brain gets me in trouble. It convinces me that I'm invincible, that my body's inner workings are still in their 20s. It makes me forget I am actually a decade older. My brain whispers that since I am having so much fun, one more can't hurt. 


And then the next morning, my body tells my brain, "This is all your fault, asshole!"


So Saturday was the Bantam hockey parent's party (the parents of Gunnar's teammates). I know most of them from years before, but there's still a few that are new to me. I had been feeling a little anti-social that day, didn't want to have to get all done up and find nice clothes to squeeze into. But Ty reminded me that this might be the only parent's party for this team this year, and did I really want to miss out on all the fun? So I pulled up my big girl panties, hunted down an outfit, straightened my hair and put on the smoky eyes. 


Sent Ty to the liquor store while all this was happening (because, y'know, being a guy it only took him 5 minutes to get ready, dammit). I was in the mood for caesars instead of syrupy-sweet coolers so the sweetheart got me two 4-packs, both different brands to "see which was better". Honey, its tomato juice and vodka, not gonna be much difference. But whatever, 8 is better than 4, right?


Right before we left I discovered a premade shooter and a lone cooler in the fridge (from the Pearl Jam concert) so I quickly chugged those down. 


Gunnar was our babysitter for the night, an easy $20 for him as the kids were all fed, house was tidied, etc. He had strict instructions to have Ryder and Ardan in bed by 9pm, as Ardan had a game in Stettler the next morning (smart-thinking me arranged a ride for him). Assured him I had my cell if anything happened. The kids settled in for a movie and away we went.


Off to a shaky start as we couldn't find the house at first. I knew Fern Crescent must be somewhere in Fox Run but in my mind it was up past the school. We drove around and around, finally pulled out the GPS which didn't recognize the street. So we headed back to the Fox Run entrance and there it was, the first street on the right. Found the house right away. 


When we walked in, there were only 2 other couples there as well as the parents hosting the party. And we were an hour late, so I thought that didn't bode well. But sure enough, couples started streaming in. Music was cranked, the Oilers game playing in the livingroom for all the guys, everyone setting out their food (it was potluck) in the livingroom. We brought Ty's smoked fish and some ripple chips as our contribution but when we'd first arrived, Ty was like, "This is the last of my smoked fish so I'm going to 'forget' it out here and only come get it if someone asks what we brought, okay?" Haha. 


So, one by one my premade caesar coolers disappeared. The night went by, god I can't even remember what all us hockey moms talked about but I just remember laughing hysterically, at one point my cheeks were literally aching from smiling so hard. I think our conversations covered everything from childbirth and labor, to how brainless 13-yr-old boys are, to drunken idiot husbands, Vegas vacations minus our men, etc.


Two moms in particular, Robin and Dorothy, were definitely the life of the party. I've written here about Robin before (her daughter is Rayna), how she reminds me of my bff Kelly in the way she's  so outgoing and hilarious but slightly scary, haha. And oh man, was she FUNNY that night. And this Dorothy chick! She's a dead-ringer for Catherine O'hara (of SCTV fame) only an older-looking version. Apparently she gets that a lot. (Oh, and her husband could be Steve Carrell -- the Office --, like a perfect clone.) This chick was telling stories that had us doubled over in hysterics. So Dorothy and Robin kept us in stitches.


At one point, Robin started dancing, this hilarious chicken-wing-flapping thing. Even the men had to watch. SO EFFIN FUNNY. Then I commandeered the ipod and put on an Adam Lambert song (If I Had You, the only one on there, boooo, I'd have preferred Strut) and me and Robin started bustin' a move. Then Dorothy got up to dirty dance with Robin, except it was more like two big broads both doing the chicken-wing and bumpin' butts. We were screaming with laughter. 


My drinks were disappearing fast, then someone brought out the Jaeger. I'd heard of it, who hasn't, but never tried some so there went a couple of shots. Tastes like black licorice. S'okay. 


Couples started leaving around midnight. Looked like most of the men were the DD's and just let their women party hard, thought that was nice and kinda cool. Not MY husband, of course (first time he'd drank since the gout incident a couple months ago, so I let him have fun, we were gonna get a cab home anyway). Eventually there was just us, another young couple (the girlfriend was convinced she knew me somehow but we couldn't figure out how, since she's from out east), and the host couple. Our cab never showed so the young couple drove us home; they'd arrived late and didn't really drink. 


I don't recall too much about what happened after we arrived home. I DO know I updated my facebook status and commented on some people's pictures, I saw what I'd written (posted at 2:13am)--


mAY BE just be a taddd bit tipsy onght, parents hockey party ,, wooha. Gunnar earned his first $20 babystitting money. GOod job kid. Came home to a quiet house, kids in bed. LOOOVeee these hockety parents, had a great time onight. Mayy have dance d to a Adam Lambert song, diryt danced with robyn. fun fun fun


I woke up at 4am (know this because I remember glancing at the clock), chugged two water bottles back-to-back with two super-strength Advil migraine pills. Staggered drunkenly back to bed. Next thing I knew sun was pouring into the bedroom. Stumbled into the kitchen, 11-frickin-30am! 


"Where's Ardan!? Did you wake up in time to get him ready? He's gone, right?"


Ty calmed me down. "Yes, your alarm woke me up at 7:45. I got him up, fed him breakfast, gave him $20. Dawn came and picked him up around 9. Don't worry."


Phew. Funny that I didn't even remember setting the alarm. Looked down at myself, PUKE on my shirt. What the hell? Did not remember puking. 


Gunnar teased me about how he had heard me upstairs when we came home, laughing and giggling and bumping into things. I looked at Ty, "Don't look at me, I was passed out on the couch." Huh. I don't remember any of that. Don't even know how I got to bed.


Oh, and there's a HUGE dark reddish-brown bruise on my inner forearm that I have NO CLUE how it got there. Hurts like a mutha but how or when I got it that night is a mystery.


My hangover didn't let up until about 6pm on Sunday, despite drinking water bottles non-stop and taking two more of those Advils. (I ignored the warning, "Do NOT exceed more than 3 in 24 hours, only take one pill every 4 hours. Pffft!)


Gunnar had a game starting at 6:15pm. Even though he's off because of the concussion (they recommend two weeks before returning to the game), players are still expected to show up so we all decided to go. After all, half the fun of drunken debauchery is talking about it the next day. Plus, I wanted to see if everyone else's hangovers were as bad as mine. 


Ty dropped me off at my vehicle (we'd left it there) and first thing that hit me when I opened the door... the smell of fish. Those damned stupid effin' smoked fish had sat in there all night and all day. GROSS!


At the arena, our team manager, Nikki (a Type-A if I ever saw one, but it looks good on her), said she had video of us ladies dirty-dancing. I was smug, "No-no-no, it was Robin and Dorothy who were dirty dancing, not me.", "Oooh girl, YOU WISH." Whaaaa?? Then she said her phone had died just as she started recording so there wasn't any 'evidence' to convict us. Phew! LOL


So yeah, that's the story about my night of drunken debauchery... and I'm sticking to it.

Oldies but goodies...

While looking for my long-missing Adam Lambert cd (I'm still convinced one of the boys hid the damn thing because I was so obsessed), I came across a cd labeled 'Beau's Party Tunes'. First of all, I shudder in embarrassment that I actually named it that. "Tunes"... seriously? And second, what would ever make me think some of these could be considered 'party' songs (one in particular, the Nine Inch Nails song, geezsh! Its def NSFW!!) And when I popped it into the cd player, I was prepared for all sorts of lame and idiotic songs to play.


But dang! If I don't have a damn good sense of music, eh?

Five Question Friday

1. What's on the top of your holiday wish list and why?!

A sweet new camera, mine sucks! Okay, well, it doesn't really but have you seen the new cameras out there? Mine is a Kodak EasyShare C813, pink, and I picked it up on sale last Christmas for $70. So it was a good deal, and it does take good pics and video, too. But it doesn't hold that many pics (internal memory is like 10 pics, sucky) and the memory card I have only holds like 60. To record a video uses like all the memory. And a lot of the pics come out dark so I have to fix them up with my photo editing software. For once, I'd like a camera where you just point and click, it takes perfect pics the first time, has tons of memory, and all the bells and whistles other cameras have. You know?



2. What is your favorite Christmas gift from the past?
The Adam Lambert cd I got last Christmas, duhhhh! (Thanks Amber and Levi!) As well, the set of 7 books (about the Fae) from mom, the photo frame with all the pics of the kids (also L&A), all my gifts from Chrissy over the years (Avon makeup last xmas, woohooo!!!), jewelry from Hubs and the kids, and so much more I can't even list them all...


3. If you had life to do over, what would you be when you grow up?
Dumb question, I've answered this like three times before. Next!


4. When do you put up your tree?
Usually the first week in December. We have ZERO hockey this weekend (a true Christmas miracle) so it looks like tomorrow or Sunday will be the day. Yay! I love Christmas, which answers this next question...



5. What is your favorite Holiday?

Addicted to Status Updates

Is it just me or does this chick look like Gwen Stefani?

BeauSaxon Kasha...

was told by Gramma DD that I've lost weight in my bust. "Actually Gramma, I'm just not wearing my push-up bra today. But thanks." I guess flat boobs = losing weight.

has a nose stud that apparently thinks its in jail, keeps trying to escape my nostril. I find myself having to check it every five minutes and once again, its sliding halfway out. Get back in your cell, damn you!

has a new obsession: The Walking Dead tv show. Soooo good! Of course, its about zombies, just what it sounds like. The downside is the guaranteed nightmares that follow every episode.

has lost her Adam Lambert cd and as a result is now being forced to listen to "Toddler Tunes" turned full blast. Double the horror! So I've got two little ones out in the kitchen, singing along in innocent joy while I'm frantically trying to find the ear plugs. "Oh dear, what can the matter be... Oh dear, what can the matter be..." The matter is that my eardrums are bleeding!

was told by her two oldest boys last night, upon returning from Mom's house where No.2 & 3 got to play the new XBox 360 Kinect, that they would like to take the next week off school and just move in with Gramma, "No offense, Mom". Oh no, I totally get it, boys. In fact, was expecting just such a thing. I only wish I could play the Dance Central game to my heart's content without a snickering audience.

was asked quite politely this morning if I would pleasepleaseplease cook the deer heart today so the guys can eat it tonight. Um, yeah. What do I look like, a frickin' evil stepmother who delights in roasting fresh heart while cackling and twiddling my evil fingers, huddled over a bubbling cauldron? Can you say, "EWW!" But, being the sweet loving wife I am, will be finding myself wrapping that damn organ in bacon and inhaling the traumatizing odor of slow-cooking heart all day long. Damn it! I better be getting some sweet-ass Christmas presents for this.

Five Question Friday

1. If you could be a fly on any wall, which would you choose?

The Pitt-Jolie wall, the Travolta wall (oh those crazy Scientologists and John with his spa escapades), the Playboy Mansion walls, Adam Lambert's wall.

2. Do you budget your Christmas shopping or just get it done without budgeting?

Budget, always. It doesn't necessarily stop us from overspending, though. When you've got four kids to buy for, all the stocking stuffers and gifts from Santa, gifts for both sides of the family, it really adds up. In recent years Hubs and I have stopped getting gifts for each other because it just gets to be too much. I am SO glad that Becky and Amber came up with our family just giving each other 'hugs' for Christmas instead of the $50 gift exchange. Helps out a lot.

3. What is the craziest fad diet you have ever done?

Christine will remember this. In high school, probably grade 7 or 8 (is that right Chris?) I was desperate to lose 20 pounds I'd somehow gained without noticing, and went on an apple-and-water diet. Yes, that's right. I ate one apple a day and then just drank water. I became very adept at hiding this from my parents, would ask to take meals up to my room (then feed them to the dogs), say I wasn't hungry at mealtimes and that I'd just eat later, give my school lunches away to other kids. Looking back, I mean obviously that's such a horrible thing to do to oneself, but what I'm amazed at (and yes I know its shallow and wrong, priority-wise) is the willpower I had. If I tried to do that now, at age 30 rather than 13, I'd probably last half a day before I started snacking. And the sad thing is, is that it worked! The 20 pounds dropped off in like a week and I was able to start eating normally again. Well, somewhat normally. I was always very body-conscious after that and if I felt I was getting "fat" again, I'd fast for a couple of days. So sad, the things that go through young girls' minds and the pressure they feel to be 'thin'.

BUT-- things happen for a reason. Because I've been there and done that, I know the symptoms and signs to look for. And I know that if a healthy, active lifestyle, proper nutrition, and positive self-esteem are encouraged before a girl-child hits that age, there's a much better chance that she'll be able to resist that social pressure. Not saying that my childhood didn't encourage those things but back then, parents didn't even think about that. The media and societal onslaught of 'lose weight', 'look younger', plastic surgery, boob jobs, size zero models, Paris-Hilton-itis... none of that was what it is now. I only have one daughter to guide through that mess, poor Chrissy has THREE. Heaven help us.

4. Is there a TV show that you have seen every episode/season of?
The Office, Modern Family, Friends, Vampire Diaries, Melrose Place (okay so I missed the very first season but that one sucked anyways), Deadwood.

 5. What one song always pulls at your heart?

Wavin' Flag by Young Artists for Haiti (original song by K'naan). I'll be singing along and all of a sudden my throat gets tight, my voice warbles, and I get a tear in my eye. Its a very powerful song. Also, Turn the Page by Bob Seeger (or the Metallica version) because that was Dad's song, Hold On by Sarah McLachlan, and Sister Rosetta Goes Before Us by Allison Krauss and Robert Plant (thanks for introducing me to such a truly, truly beautiful song, Mom. I chose that particular video just for you).

Five Question Friday

1. What do you listen to while driving?

Usually, my ipod loaded with all my favorite songs (that I tend to skip through to find the Adam Lambert and Justin Bieber songs; the former because, well, its ADAM-FRIGGIN-LAMBERT and the latter because I live to torment my boys, muahahah). But if the ipod is dead, I go through all my pre-programmed radio channels to find which one is playing the best song. I have to have music to listen to. If the ipod is dead and all the radio stations suck, then I am in agony. Because listening to silence or, even WORSE, kids bickering just really 'drives' me bonkers. (Get it, 'drives', because I'm in the car, huh, huh? Okay, sorry.)

2. What is your least favorite thing about Fall?
Never knowing if its going to be nice out or cold, because then my front entry is filled with a mix of warm heavy coats and light thin coats, mitts and hats, shoes, rubber boots, winter boots, dirt chunks on the floor, mud tracks, bike helmets, rollerblades, hockey sticks, skateboards....

3. What does your dream house look like, inside and out?
Oooo, love this question! I have spent many a time making fantasy lists from the Ikea catalogue of what I want in each room, what color walls I want, carpet or hardwood, themes, etc. For the outside of my dream home, I love the natural look: lots of stone or dark granite/slate, huge front and back yard with tons of trees and flower beds and a little patio with a beautiful sitting area (lots of dark bamboo patio furniture and glass/black metal tables), either dark gray or brown vinyl or wood siding, at least two stories tall, huge attached garage and front driveway, maybe a wraparound deck or at least a nice front porch with a couple of columns, lots of flower pots and hanging plants. For the inside, I'd love a huge front entry with a large spacious coat closet (I love front entries, or foyers for you snooty types, that have cute little tables with a mirror hung above, looks so classy, and of course a beautiful vase of fresh flowers on the table). Open design and vaulted ceilings so it feels light and airy. Giant kitchen with lots of cupboards, two ovens, one of those big fridges that have the freezer on the bottom, like in a pull-out drawer. A big island smack-dab in the middle of the kitchen with shelves and cupboards built in. Don't know what color/type of wood I'd want in the kitchen, but probably something darker with pewter knobs to contrast with the walls, which I would love to be a light mossy green. Lots of plants, hanging and in pots. French doors leading out onto a big deck that leads down to the backyard. You know what, I could continue on for every room in the house but then you'd be reading for hours, so let's just end the fantasy now.

4. Would you ever own a minivan?
I have, it was green and for the time that we had it, I loved it. Lots of room for the kids, had that fun sliding door, lots of room in the back. But it wasn't necessarily the safest kind of vehicle for Alberta winter driving so we switched to the Durango. And now I'm driving my Suzuki XL-7 (Suzi), its a crossover (half SUV-half van), which I absolutely love and adore; it has proven itself to be reliable on the winter roads, its great on gas, looks cute and fun and sporty, not too big like a truck or SUV, not too small like a car (though it drives like one, which I love -- sometimes the Durango felt like driving a bus).



5. Do you wash new clothes before wearing them?
I didn't use to, because I liked how the clothes looked all pressed and neat and perfect. But then my bff Christine told me that she read somewhere that the process used to treat the clothes (giving them that perfect look) uses formaldehyde, which can be absorbed by the skin. So now I'm all paranoid and have to wash them. As for 'new' (to me) clothes from Valloo Vallajhe, YES, they MUST be washed! My hands always smell like pee after shopping there from touching all the clothes as I flip through the racks and it traumatizes me! I've learned to bring wet wipes and hand sanitizer on these shopping trips, and I use them every ten minutes or so. I'm sure I look like one of those germaphobes but I literally shudder just remembering the feel and smell of my hands in that place! Ah well, how I suffer for fashion (and low prices!), haha.

Five Question Friday

1. If you could speak with a different accent, what would it be (i.e Australian, Scottish)?

Oooo, I like this question! I think Aussie accents sound ridiculous (sorry, mates!); Scottish accents, while very sexy, can be way too thick and hard to interpret; Irish accents are lyrical and musical but you still sound like a leprechaun ("They're after me gold!"); there are so many different variations of an English accent, you either sound like an upper-cruster with a stick up your butt or a lowly commoner hawking fish on the street ("Fresh caught today, guv'na!"); Newfie accents are freakin' hilarious and awesome but its hard to be taken seriously when people are too busy holding their gut and rolling on the floor, laughing at you; I'm not even going to touch on Asian accents, too stereotypical; Russian accents are too scary; Polish/Swedish/whatever -- no way ("Smorgie-board!" -- the Swedish chef, get it?); I love French accents, very sexy when done right, but when I hear one I tend to picture the person with a thin black mustache wearing a beret, scarf and black-and-white striped shirt, doing mime.

No, I think the only two accents I would like to have are either Italian or Spanish. Not Mexican-type Spanish ("Seee, seee-nyoor") but more like Sofia Vargara's accent on Modern Family. She has the natural accent but plays it up for the character. Very sexy, very fiery.





2. Can you fall asleep anywhere? (i.e floor, couch, deck)
I guess it depends on how tired I am. I can definitely fall asleep on the couch, have fallen asleep in chairs before, on the beach, on the grass, in tents and vehicles. So actually, I guess the answer is 'yes'. Hah.


3. Do you use public restrooms? If so, do you sit on the toilet?
When necessity demands it, yes. If the bathroom looks sketchy in any way, I do the 'hover' thing. And by 'sketchy', I mean dirty, toilet paper on the floor, stained toilet bowl, water all over the sink counter, dirty mirrors, etc. And if the toilet is 'full', fuhgeddaboutit.



4. If you were stuck in an elevator for 24 hours, what celebrity would you most want to be stuck with?
Um, derrrr, ADAM LAMBERT, of course. That poor guy wouldn't know what hit him. I'd probably try to be nice about it at first, but there would be no getting away. I would violate that boy in ways you've never even heard about, heh heh heh. If that disturbs you, just be glad you don't live in my brain. But would he still respect me in the morning? Who cares! I could die happy knowing I crossed my #1 off The List.

5. Where did you and your significant other go on your 1st date?
You mean I have to try and remember back that far? Okay... *digging through mental files*... I can definitely say that less than a week into our 'going out' we went to Edgefest together; don't know if you'd classify that as a date, per se. We also went out for dinner at Our Flames that first week, and to a couple of house parties. We don't really go on 'dates' because every night is date night for us.