Short People Problems

What clogged the toilet: mystery SOLVED

Oh, yeah, you "accidentally" flushed something down the toilet, eh Ryder?


Turned out it was a long comb wrapped in tons of what looked like paper towel (but later realized was actually Lysol antibacterial wipes, which do NOT dissolve in water like the toddler wipes).


So I pretended to take a picture of the comb/wipes with my camera and told the little DICKens that I was emailing it to Santa and there was going to be yet another check mark under Ryder's 'naughty' column, and that from now on he'd better work extra hard at being 'nice' or he was going to get ELF POOP in his stocking.

I am a computer WHIZ

If you've seen any of my facebook statuses from the last week, you'll know what I was dealing with regarding Gunnar's computer.


If you haven't, here's the short story: his laptop was hijacked by viruses, worms, malware, spyware, etc. Basically, everything that can destroy your computer. The little brat didn't have antivirus and was cruising porn sites. What else did he expect? GAH! All of his programs and applications were missing, couldn't open anything, and I kept getting pop-ups telling me 'application not found', 'cannot open', etc. With the knowledge and help of a fb friend, I downloaded on disc and (in safe mode) installed three separate programs to help me deal with all these problems: SuperAntispyware, MalwareBytes Anti-Malware, and Avast antivirus protection. Took me almost a full day, but those 3 programs removed over 800 infected files. 


I was riding high on triumph and pride. Had gotten his computer pretty much restored, just had a few things left to figure out (like how to move his programs and applications back into the All Programs on the Start menu). 


Suddenly an Avast window popped up informing me a rootkit virus had been discovered and removed, and the laptop now required a reboot. Upon restarting however, I was horrified to see the Blue Screen of Death!! It advised restarting the computer; did that, the BSoD kept appearing. Got more advice from my fb friend but nothing worked, the computer was too damaged. Looks like I'll be taking it in to a real computer techie.


BUT... all this researching and downloading inspired me to try to 'fix' the other two computers. The desktop in the livingroom is very old, very cluttered with files, runs verrrry slow, and the internet connection is slow sometimes (even though its connected via cable, so should be lightning quick). My laptop is pretty fast with not that many files or programs, but it still needed a good antivirus program (had installed Avast on it as well but with that rootkit virus destroying Gunnar's laptop, I was suddenly unsure about its competency).


I went to PCworld (my new favorite site for anything computer-related) and found a program called Security Task Manager (I found a free 30-day trial version). This program "gives a wealth of detail about each program and process [running on your computer, many without your knowledge], including whether the program is likely malicious or not, and it lets you delete any program and process with a single click. You'll get an enormous amount of detail about what's running, including the manufacturer, type of program, how it started (for example upon startup or from within Windows Explorer), and the file name. It also rates files according to how harmless or malicious they may be. To stop a program, highlight it and click remove, and you're done."


So I used that program to remove several unused, unimportant, unnecessary-to-the-system programs and applications, as well as some broken file fragments. I like that it shows you, highlighted in red, which ones are the most suspicious; as well, other users rate how dangerous they consider that program/process which helps you to make your decisions about what stays and what goes. One thing I would DEFINITELY advise is to open up a new window and google the name of each program/process BEFORE deleting or quarantining it, as some have weird and misleading names that make you think they are 'bad'. For example, I almost removed my laptop's wireless capabilities because I didn't realize that's what it was (you'd think it would be labelled 'wireless' or something obvious, but no). Security Task Manager also creates system restore points before each deletion/removal, so if you suddenly think 'Crap, what have I done?', you can go back and do a restore.


Next thing I did was to remove all the antivirus, antispyware, and antimalware programs I'd installed and instead download & install Microsoft's Security Essentials, which is completely FREE but you have to have a genuine Windows program on your computer (XP, 7, etc). This program guarantees: real-time protection, system scanning, system cleaning, Windows Firewall integration, dynamic signature service, rootkit protection, protection against real threats (not good software), and network inspection system. And because its from Microsoft, I know I can trust it to do its job, and do it well. 


Okay, so with my computer now cleaned up and protected, the next thing to do was secure my wireless connection. I'd already secured it somewhat about a year ago using WEP, but in my online wanderings I learned that WPA or WPA2 is much more secure. Apparently, WEP can be cracked within a minute, huh. So this process involved getting out the linksys installation manual and following the steps, very very easy. 


Lastly, I wanted to figure out how to get rid of the annoying pop-up windows that never failed to appear upon start-up, along the lines of 'unable to locate component for this application because  this .dll file not found'. (Dynamic Link Library (dll) files are an essential part of the Windows operating system.) On the laptop I would always get two such notices, on the desktop there were three. I wrote down the specific dll files and applications, googled them, and just followed the instructions. The newest Apple update (for itunes) has an error in it that mistakenly places a certain dll file in the wrong place (the application is AppleSyncNotifier, if you're experiencing any pop-ups with that). Its as simple as locating the dll file stated (do a Search from your start menu), copying it, and pasting to the correct folder. Restart the computer and voila, no more annoying pop-ups!


So yeah, there ya go, am I not a computer whiz? What can I say...


 

Excitement at the Beach

We took the kids to Petro Beach last night for some swimming, kayaking and playing in the sand. Ty brought the canoe as well so he could do some fishing. We got down there (its just past GTI) around 7:30pm; the weather was warm and beautiful and the kids were excited.

We all took turns on the kayaks, Ty of course headed out on the canoe, then the kids frolicked and splashed in the water. Lena and the two older ones went out to their chests, even Ryder tested his limit by going up to his belly button. Then the two little ones returned to the sand to play and build castles while the big boys stayed out deep and goofed around.

Ryder dug a big hole and proceeded to flood it with water, first calling it "Tiger Lake" and then changed the name to "Crocodile Lake". Gotta put some more water in Crocodile Lake for all the crocodiles that live in Crocodile Lake. I think he said the word crocodile about 30 times in 5 minutes, haha.

Lena was prancing around in the sand when she noticed something on her leg near the ankle, looked like a small piece of grass or reed. She went to slap it off but it wouldn't move. I was sitting there at the picnic table watching all this and it was like it happened in slow motion. She grabbed the thing with her fingers and then suddenly this horrified scream burst out of her, "ITS A BLOOD SUCKER!!!!" O.M.G! She started frantically hopping around, stomping her leg, slapping and pulling at this thing, and it wouldn't come off! Gunnar had reached shore by then and raced for the bug spray, started spraying that leech like crazy but it just would not leg go. By this time Lena was hysterical, still screaming and crying, while bad mommy sat at the table and giggled. (You know, that nervous laughing thing I do. Bad, bad me.) Gunnar had a firm hold of the leech and was pulling at it, and it still would not come off! Finally, it came loose and Gunnar flung it to the ground, where Ryder promptly stomped on it, "That's for sucking my sister's blood!" (Then of course he checked the bottom of his foot to make sure it hadn't stuck to HIM! lol)

Poor little Lena was a shivering, sobbing mess, utterly traumatized by the whole experience. She changed back into her clothes and flat-out refused to swim or get near the water for the rest of the night, even though I assured her the leech had come from the deeper waters she'd walked in, because there were reeds and seaweed over there. To my knowledge, leeches don't hang out in shallow water (maybe I'm wrong though). So she just sat by me and I cuddled her and rubbed her back and crooned to calm her down. See, I'm not such a bad mom after all!

A little while later I asked Ryder to find the dead leech so we could be sure it wasn't still alive in the sand, waiting for a juicy foot to come near. He told me, quite seriously, "No mom, it clawed its way back to the water with its one sharp tooth, and then it fell in and drowned because leeches can't swim, and now it can never be revived." Omg I laughed so hard to hear that, in his solemn gruff little voice. We never did find it, either.

So the boys were out kayaking, I was stuck on the beach with the little ones, one of whom refused to play or swim after her traumatic episode, and it was getting colder and windier, the sun was setting, and I realized Ty had taken the truck keys with him in the canoe. I was wearing flip-flops and my feet were blocks of ice. Ryder had to go poop so we ran to the bathroom there. Afterward, we couldn't wedge his cold wet clammy thick thighs back into his suit, so he just ran back to the water buck naked and played, sand stuck all over his cute chubby butt. By now it was around 9pm, the kids were starving (we hadn't eaten supper before we left because we'd had a really late lunch, but I had a roast slow-cooking for when we returned) and they had already eaten the bag of chips I brought and drank all their juiceboxes. I, stupidly, had not brought along a book or anything to keep me occupied other than my pack of smokes, so that was incredibly boring. Just sitting there shivering, chain-smoking, cursing my hubby who'd taken off across the lake in his canoe and taken the damn truck keys with him.

The boys came back in the kayaks and we all started packing up and hauling stuff back to the truck so when Ty finally returned, we could quickly get out of there. Finally we spotted his canoe heading our way. He was just at the area where all the boats are docked in the water when we saw him stop to take a few more casts. Oh, you can imagine the steam coming out of my ears. It was 9:45 at that point. We all watched as he cast and reeled, then he actually got something. He was so surprised! Then, THEN, oh holy mother of all things awesome and righteous, the damn man over-reacted in his excitement and set the hook much harder than he intended, that he actually managed to somehow lose his balance and accidentally flung himself overboard the canoe! SPLASH!! Ohmygod it was so funny. We were all laughing so hard we almost peed our pants, bent over and clutching our stomachs. He returned to shore in disgrace, haha. Good thing he had the foresight to put his cellphone in a ziploc baggy in his pocket before heading out. Unfortunately, he did not put his wallet in there. Bahahaha.

So anyway, we got home around 10, had a very late supper of tender deer roast, tossed salad, leftover corn-on-the-cob, and spinach. Threw the kids in the bath while the boys took turns showering, then everyone hit the sack.

What an exciting night!

Five Question Friday

1. What movie could you watch over and over again and not get tired of?

I have a few movies like that: The Prophesy, Lord of the Rings trilogy, Princess Bride, Elf, Old School ("We're going STREAKINGGGG!"), Dirty Dancing, Despicable Me. I know there's more but I've got a slight hangover this morning and can't think of their names.

2. What's your biggest pet peeve right now?
People that forget how to drive in winter conditions. You know, the ones who wait too long to slow down at red lights and stop signs and end up skidding to a stop a little too close to your back bumper. They drive too fast (or too slow!). They put on the fog lights in addition to their daylights so you're blinded when they drive past. They think that because they have 4x4 that they're invincible. Those ones.

3. If you had to describe your best friend in five words or less, what would you say?
Funny, caring, loyal, strong, beautiful.

4. If you did not have to worry about money or go to school what would you do for a living?

Own a toy store that only sells 'gently-used' toys for low-income families, similar to the idea of Once Upon a Child but for toys. Its an idea that's been in the back of my head for a couple years now. One Christmas while toy shopping at Toys R Us I overheard a mom talking to her older child (who obviously knew the deal about Santa) that they could only afford to get each child one new toy for Christmas so they had to really look at everything and try to find something on sale. It just broke my heart. And I thought, Wouldn't it be great to have a place where parents could buy FIVE used toys for the price of one new? People could donate gently-used toys or exchange them for store credit. I know there's been many times that I clear out the kids unused toys and I have no idea what to do with them, so they usually end up going to Value Village. Last Christmas money was tight and I ended up getting Ryder several used toys from Value Village and you know what? He was thrilled! He didn't even notice that they didn't come new in boxes or packaging. So that would be what I would do.

5. What is your one "splurge" item, that you will always buy, no matter the cost?
Makeup and books. Whenever a new makeup product comes on the market, if I really want it I get it. Like the LipStain & Balm, and GrowLuscious mascara. Had to have. Also, books. My two favorite authors each have a series of books that they add a new book to 1-2 times a year (Gena Showalter's Lords of the Underworld and Kresley Cole's Immortals After Dark) and you will usually find me at Chapter's on the book release day, standing in line with that book in my hot little hands, anxious to get home and dive in. Kresley's newest IAD book comes out Feb.15 and I'm so excited I can barely stand it!!!! Here's an excerpt from that book, Dreams of a Dark Warrior, Regin's story.

2011 Resolutions

Okay, enough is enough. Time to wisen up and get serious. After careful consideration, I've determined that these are the areas I need to improve upon...

1. STOP SMOKING.

2. A renewed commitment to the WLJ.
Seriously, enough is enough. No more procrastination, no more bingeing and fasting. Back to the healthy eating and daily exercise, even if its just twenty minutes. The 2012 Final Countdown is a'comin' and I need to be in fighting form. (I'm only half-kidding.)

3. Be a KINDER person.
I know most of you will think, 'But you ARE a kind person, Beau!' Well, honestly, a lot of the time I'm not. I think unkind thoughts, I make snap judgements about people based on their appearance or actions (when I know damn well what happens when you ASSUME), and I hold grudges. I need to make a conscious effort to be nice in both deed and thought. I think I'll become a much happier person.

4. Tame back the road rage.
I used to gape in horrified amazement when Hubs would let loose the road rage and think to myself, 'Wow, he has some ISSUES!' Haha. Well now I find myself being the one screaming at other drivers, letting loose angry tirades about the stupidity of mankind. Some reactions are uncontrollable, like when that jerk cuts you off or passes too close. But sometimes I find myself being fully aware that I am unreasonably angry (I mean, c'mon, is it that big of a deal that buddy waited until the last second to put on his turn signal?), and yet I still yell and curse. I justify it by telling myself I am teaching my children what NOT to do so that when they are drivers, they will be aware of the kind of things some idiot drivers do. And while that may be somewhat true (yes, now they know to be defensive drivers and be watchful for morons that try to run red lights, etc), do I really want my kids to see me exhibiting such rage?

5. Be more PATIENT.
This is kind of related to the kindness thing, but this one in particular is aimed more towards my children. And I'm sure you all think (because I've heard it said) that I am always ever-so-patient with my kids, yaddayadda. Its a show! A put-on for the public! Not saying I'm an evil raging bitch behind closed doors, but sometimes, a little. I find that I don't have patience or even the desire to be patient when it comes to getting what I want done. For example, if I have to tell my kids to get something done more than twice, I can literally feel my blood pressure rising and then its like, "NOW!" I realize this is normal for any parent, especially one with four kids, but there is a lot to be said for recognizing that these are just KIDS and as such, they flow on their own time path. When Ryder is taking forever to get his coat and boots on, I need to stop and take a breather because what seems like such an inconsequential thing is actually teaching him independence and self-reliance. Little things like that, where I tend to take over just to get it done quickly, or bigger things like Gunnar waiting til what seems like the last minute to get his papers done... those are moments when I have a learning opportunity, to become a better parent and create stronger relationships with my children. Give them a break, understand where their behaviour is coming from (after all, its -20 outside, would I really want to be delivering papers in that?), and just let it be, go with their flow.

6. Show true appreciation for what I've been given, and what I've had to work for.

7. Be more loving to Hubs, and more expressive to him how I'm in love with him.
Many times I lose patience with him (there's that patience thing again) or get angry because he doesn't see something the way I do, or if he says or does something I don't agree with. I can be very short-tempered with him or flippant, or I say something disrespectful like 'pffft!' or roll my eyes. Very rude and its embarrassing to admit that I do that. I am a very stubborn person and I tend to think I'm always right. At times my personality can be very dominating and bossy. If you're not with me, you're against me, that sort of thing. Plus, I have a lot of issues with 'authority' that stem from my teenage years, when I felt very stifled, repressed and controlled. A sure way to get me to do something is to tell me NOT to do it. You know? A lot of times I'm actually reacting to the tone of voice or the manner something is being expressed to me, rather than the actual words. Ty might say something to me and his voice sounds angry, but really its because he just got home and had a stressful day; I'll take it in as a criticism or slight, and then in return I've got a bitchy tone and I'm resentful. Its so stupid and childish but its a rut I get stuck in. And so it needs to END, and I need to grow up. Treat my man as a MAN, not my father, not my child, as my HUSBAND that I've willingly chosen to bind myself to, and as such give him the respect, admiration and most importantly, LOVE, that he so deserves. I always compare our relationship to Levi and Amber's, "Why don't you treat me like Levi treats Amber? Why don't I get PDA's and sweet little kisses when noone's looking? Why don't my feelings come first?" etcetc. But its that old adage that I firmly believe in, 'You reap what you sow'. And I'm a big hypocrite! I want all that stuff but I don't expect to have to return the actions, or initiate them in the first place. So that all stops this year. This year I am going to be the best wife ever, considerate and unselfish, thoughtful and caring. And LOVING. The best example of how true mates should treat each other will always be my parents. No matter their issues, no matter the situation, the highs and lows, they were always about showing each other respect, consideration and love. My mother would NEVER have rolled her eyes at my dad. From now on, I will ask myself, 'Would Mom do this?' (we'll call it: WMDT?) and that will be the measuring stick I hold myself accountable to.

8. Stay in better touch with my loved ones, and be the first to initiate contact and communication.
I am sooo bad for this. I leave it for the other person to contact me. (Well, with the exception of Mom and Christine.) But I mean with my brothers, Fred, Kelly, my grandparents... its usually them who calls me, not vice versa. So this year I'm going to really try to be a better friend, sister, daughter, etc. If I find myself thinking of someone or remembering something funny or cute about them, well then dammit I'm going to call them up right then and there and tell them about it! Its something my mom has always encouraged (she's so wise) and I'm going to start doing it more often. So be prepared to be seeing my number on your call display more often!

So there you have it. My list of resolutions for 2011. While I've accomplished some of last year's resolutions (be more organized, procrastinate less), there's still more work to be done. And this will be the year!

So I will it, so shall it be. :)

Peeve of the Day: When the phone hangs itself up

You know what's annoying? When you're on the phone with someone, just about to end the call-- you know, when you're finishing up the conversation just about to start saying goodbyes-- when the phone decides to hang itself up.

That just happened to me with Kim.

So then you're left with the decision, Do I call her back just to say a proper 'goodbye' since we got cut off, or do I just leave it and try to explain next time I see her that it wasn't ME who hung up, rather my phone. Or hers. Then you're left with that uncomfortable feeling like it may have seemed you were rude and deliberately hung up, and you want to explain. But how stupid is it to call someone back just to immediately say "Well, okay then, bye!"

*sigh*

The eye sees what it wants to see...

Remember I talked about getting myself a Black & Decker rolling toolbox for Christmas? I saw that thing in the Walmart flyer and just HAD to get it. On sale for $20, can't beat that! On the front of it there were pictures of tools to show you the compartments where you would put them. And it was so darn cute, all little and compact. And on wheels, with a handle, just like luggage! For $20!

You can tell how excited I was about it. WAS.

Apparently, as Tyler so 'helpfully' pointed out to me while hysterically laughing his head off, I bought a Black & Decker JUNIOR rolling toolkit, complete with toy tools. Hence the reason it was so cute and tiny and compact. And only $20. If you know me, you can imagine just how devastated I was to learn that.

'No, you're wrong, its for adults!' Looked closely at the front.

'Isn't it?' Examined every square inch of the toolkit, hoping against hope...

'You're right. Its for kids. It comes with a toy hammer and screwdriver. I bought a CHILD'S toolkit. For myself.' With every word I uttered, Hubs' maniacal laughing got louder. Which really pissed me off!

Bad enough I bought the damn thing, bad enough that I was so freakin' excited about having such an awesome toolkit, bad enough that I was raving about my awesome find to the checkout cashier as she rang it through (she probably thought I was nuts!! "Okay lady, you're going to use a kids toy as a REAL toolkit, suuuurrre").

'Well who cares! I'm just going to take all the kid tools out. I can just give them to Ryder, wrap them up in a box or something, and put my OWN tools in there. I can still use it!'

When he finally calmed down, I hung my head in misery and admitted, 'Okay, yes, you're right. Its for a child. Guess Ryder will be getting one more gift this year.'

DAMN! I REALLY WANTED THAT TOOLKIT!

Hey, you got something on your... oh, nevermind

So lucky, lucky me. Had to be in Eckville by 8:45 for Ardan's 9:15am game, driving on those hellish slippery roads, and to add insult to injury, I have a big old red zit on my nose.

Damn AcneFree not doing its job!

Why today of all days? If I'd gotten it a couple days before it would at least be faded enough to cover with makeup. But noooooo. The makeup I slathered on just made it worse, like 'Look at me! This poor bitch thinks she can get rid of me but I am red and angry!'

So just call me Rudolph the Red-fuckin-Nosed Reindeer!

Just... UGH.

I love my boys, I really do. You know I do. But sometimes...  I tell ya, that old family threat of "I'm going to sell you to the Indians!" (or was it gypsies?) really sounds good.

There is a certain behaviour that children exhibit, more specifically - MALE children, that just makes me want to SCREAM!! And I can't even say that they grow out of it because my youngest brother is a perfect example (and Amber, I know you know what I'm talking about). He still continues to do it to this day, and he flat out admits to doing it!

WIPING SNOT ON THE WALL.

I'm about done, people. DONE. For some strange reason I was in a cleaning mode this morning, took a microfiber cloth to the china cabinet, baseboards, shelves, etc. And then I thought, 'Hmm, might as well do a couple of walls while I'm at it.' Bad idea. Bad, bad idea.

You know, it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't such a blatant, obvious display of "I-know-this-is-wrong-and-gross-but-I'm-still-going-to-do-it". You don't accidentally wipe snot on the wall. Doesn't happen that way. And if I've told them once, I've told them a thousand times: WIPE IT ON YOUR DAMN SHIRT.

Which may horrify and disgust you but think about it. That way, you never have to see it, never have to touch it, you don't even know its there. The shirt goes into the wash, comes out clean. Easy. Done.

On the frickin' wall? Try getting that stuff off with just a cloth, I dare you. Its impossible. No, you have to wrap a cloth around your finger and then SCRAPE with your fingernail. And the entire time, your brain is stuck on repeat: This is snot. This is snot. Dried, hardened snot. This is snot.

And also, its frickin' embarrassing! Try explaining THAT to guests when they come over. "Oh, don't mind that. Just leftovers from last month's cold. Sorry you leaned against it, though."

And another thing... it also wouldn't be so bad if it was just one or two snots on the wall. But I counted six! And that was just on one wall, in one general area! Not even the entire wall! If I did the math (which will probably come out wrong, I don't claim to be Einstein), that small area was about 1/6th the size of the whole wall. So multiply that by 6, you're looking at at least 36 snots! Just on the one wall! I have like a billion walls in this house!

What the hell is wrong with my children? No, seriously. Levi, maybe you can explain to us in the comments the mindset of a snot-wiper. Is it just habit, or a deeper compulsion? Like, 'you didn't buy me the video game I wanted so ha-HA!'

I don't get it.

But I tell ya, I'm about at the point with those boys that I'm going to threaten that they have to scrape those snots off with their TEETH, every last one. And when I have them utterly believing, crying and begging, promising on the birth of their firstborn that they will never, EVER snot-wipe again... then, I will hand them the putty knife.

I need a cigarette.

Comments: maybe this will help?

So I got some feedback via Mom and apparently there's still something wrong with the comment process. I went to Comment Settings and the only thing I could see that might make a difference is changing the moderation from 'only on posts older than 7 days', to 'never'.

Hope this helps!

*facepalm*

So I'm in Walmart tonight with No.3&4 and I notice that everyone is grinning at me. Men in particular. So of course I'm thinking its because I'm looking so cute. I mean, after all, I had done my eyes up a new way (dark purple liner instead of black) and my hair was all blond and fluffy and cute. I was wearing my denim capris and purple plaid flats. Cute, right?

Even the cashier grinned at me. I was starting to think I really had it going on, baby!

Then we get out to the vehicle and I look in the mirror.

*FACEPALM!!*

There was a tiny piece of green plastic stuck to my forehead.

Immediately I turned to Lena and barked, "Look at my forehead! Has this thing been on there all along?"

She nodded.

"Well, thanks for the heads-up Lena, THANKS. A. LOT!!"

She just shrugged. Ooooo, that is SO it, little girl, Santa is definitely hearing ALL about this!

Five Question Friday

1. What do you listen to while driving?

Usually, my ipod loaded with all my favorite songs (that I tend to skip through to find the Adam Lambert and Justin Bieber songs; the former because, well, its ADAM-FRIGGIN-LAMBERT and the latter because I live to torment my boys, muahahah). But if the ipod is dead, I go through all my pre-programmed radio channels to find which one is playing the best song. I have to have music to listen to. If the ipod is dead and all the radio stations suck, then I am in agony. Because listening to silence or, even WORSE, kids bickering just really 'drives' me bonkers. (Get it, 'drives', because I'm in the car, huh, huh? Okay, sorry.)

2. What is your least favorite thing about Fall?
Never knowing if its going to be nice out or cold, because then my front entry is filled with a mix of warm heavy coats and light thin coats, mitts and hats, shoes, rubber boots, winter boots, dirt chunks on the floor, mud tracks, bike helmets, rollerblades, hockey sticks, skateboards....

3. What does your dream house look like, inside and out?
Oooo, love this question! I have spent many a time making fantasy lists from the Ikea catalogue of what I want in each room, what color walls I want, carpet or hardwood, themes, etc. For the outside of my dream home, I love the natural look: lots of stone or dark granite/slate, huge front and back yard with tons of trees and flower beds and a little patio with a beautiful sitting area (lots of dark bamboo patio furniture and glass/black metal tables), either dark gray or brown vinyl or wood siding, at least two stories tall, huge attached garage and front driveway, maybe a wraparound deck or at least a nice front porch with a couple of columns, lots of flower pots and hanging plants. For the inside, I'd love a huge front entry with a large spacious coat closet (I love front entries, or foyers for you snooty types, that have cute little tables with a mirror hung above, looks so classy, and of course a beautiful vase of fresh flowers on the table). Open design and vaulted ceilings so it feels light and airy. Giant kitchen with lots of cupboards, two ovens, one of those big fridges that have the freezer on the bottom, like in a pull-out drawer. A big island smack-dab in the middle of the kitchen with shelves and cupboards built in. Don't know what color/type of wood I'd want in the kitchen, but probably something darker with pewter knobs to contrast with the walls, which I would love to be a light mossy green. Lots of plants, hanging and in pots. French doors leading out onto a big deck that leads down to the backyard. You know what, I could continue on for every room in the house but then you'd be reading for hours, so let's just end the fantasy now.

4. Would you ever own a minivan?
I have, it was green and for the time that we had it, I loved it. Lots of room for the kids, had that fun sliding door, lots of room in the back. But it wasn't necessarily the safest kind of vehicle for Alberta winter driving so we switched to the Durango. And now I'm driving my Suzuki XL-7 (Suzi), its a crossover (half SUV-half van), which I absolutely love and adore; it has proven itself to be reliable on the winter roads, its great on gas, looks cute and fun and sporty, not too big like a truck or SUV, not too small like a car (though it drives like one, which I love -- sometimes the Durango felt like driving a bus).



5. Do you wash new clothes before wearing them?
I didn't use to, because I liked how the clothes looked all pressed and neat and perfect. But then my bff Christine told me that she read somewhere that the process used to treat the clothes (giving them that perfect look) uses formaldehyde, which can be absorbed by the skin. So now I'm all paranoid and have to wash them. As for 'new' (to me) clothes from Valloo Vallajhe, YES, they MUST be washed! My hands always smell like pee after shopping there from touching all the clothes as I flip through the racks and it traumatizes me! I've learned to bring wet wipes and hand sanitizer on these shopping trips, and I use them every ten minutes or so. I'm sure I look like one of those germaphobes but I literally shudder just remembering the feel and smell of my hands in that place! Ah well, how I suffer for fashion (and low prices!), haha.

C'MON!

24 posts since someone last commented.

24!

What's going on here? Is it the new security feature on the commenting page, where you have to type down the word? I had to do that because I was getting all these crazy spam comments.

Although I'm starting to think that at least those spammers visit my blog! And take the time to comment!

The Rebels game

We were given four Rebels tickets the other night and as No.1&2 were spending the night at their cousin's, Hubs and I decided to take the little ones. They were so excited, especially Milena. Miss Diva Fashionista picked out an outfit, very funky and cool I must say. My outfit was just blah, whatever was clean. I wore my red coat, though. (This is all important info for later in the story.)

So away we went, just a little late for the start of the game. The only available parking we found was wayyy out in the boonies of the parking lot, took like ten minutes just to walk to the centrium. Found our seats, which, because of the season-ticket-holder nature of the tickets, were in a choice spot, right behind and to the left of the goalie. (Also important info.)

Being the very first home game of the season, it was kind of a big deal. Everyone was wearing red, with white pom-poms and little signs saying 'Go Rebels, Go!' that apparently the Advocate had supplied in that day's edition of the paper. The cards were important because at a certain moment, the announcer would ask everyone in a certain section to wave their cards and one lucky person would receive a Rebels jersey. We, of course, did not have a card but whatever.

The game was great, very exciting; the Rebels kicked butt 8-1 over the Oil Kings. Every time the home team scored, the siren would play, lights going on and off, everyone going crazy and cheering. Ryder really got into that. He would clap as hard and fast as he could, grinning hugely.

During the first period, Ty realized that a guy near him was an old work buddy, so they talked and caught up. Right before that, Ty had asked me to switch seats with him. Presumably to talk to this guy, right? (We were sitting with the kids in between us, I had been beside an aisle and he'd been beside a tweenaged girl.) So whatever, I switched, no problem.

Uh, PROBLEM!!

This girl, probably between 11-13, you know, that talkative stage, well she would just not SHUT UP. Seriously. At first it was cute. I was thinking, "Wow, its nice to see a girl that age who's not shy or hesitant to interact with strangers." Yeah, that thinking lasted about five minutes. Seriously, I'm talking non-stop talking. NON. EFFING. STOP. And if she thought I hadn't heard something, she'd repeat it again and again, especially if she thought it was hilarious and that I should be laughing. At one point, I just pinned my evil glare on her father, who was sitting near the aisle, until he must've felt it and looked at me. Now, if that was me and I noticed a complete stranger sitting by one of my kids and that the person was glaring daggers at me, I would rightly assume that my kid was bothering them and I should intervene. But did he? NO. He just blandly smiled at me and went back to texting on his cell. FUCKER! He was probably just happy that he'd pawned the daughter off on some poor sap and he wasn't the one with bleeding eardrums.

But you know what made it even more horrible? Ryder decided to start being a little ass. Got totally hyper, didn't want to stay in his seat, decided that crawling under/over the seats in front of us (which were blessedly empty, thank god) was much more fun. Oh, and he decided to really push my buttons and just take off, up the stairs and out of the stands. Naturally I had to race after him and carry him kicking and screaming back to our seats. (Because HELL NO was I letting the little wanker run around willy-nilly in that big open area that was jam-packed with people, he would've been lost in the crowd within seconds.)

So we finally get back to our seats and here its intermission and Ty decides to take Lena to the concession to get the kids some ice cream. Fine, whatever, thanks for all the help with Ryder, I really appreciate it. See ya later in a couple of minutes. Right? Because the concession was directly above where we were sitting. So it shouldn't have taken too long. Right?

Twenty frickin' minutes later and I'm about ready to pull down Ryder's pants in public and spank his bare ass. People around us were either totally pissed off at his bratty behaviour or humorously indulgent. Meanwhile I've got The Mouth sitting next to me, The Little Ass crawling all over everything, and no sign of Hubs and Lena. During the intermission, little cameras strategically placed throughout the arena would focus on particular people in the audience and they would find themselves up on the big screen. I thought to myself, 'What are the odds that I'll find myself up there? Hopefully NEVER because I look like crap -- well, my at least my hair looked good.' 

Finally, FINALLY, they come back with ice cream. And thank god, because at that point that was the only thing that could've grabbed Ryder's attention from eating popcorn off the floor. They came bearing gifts, though (besides the ice cream). I guess there was a big wheel thing set up by the concession that kids could spin and win a prize. Lena spun and won Ryder a mini stick. Cool. But then, for whatever reason, she refused to spin for herself (maybe was uncomfortable with all the attention on her, she gets like that). Just flat-out refused. Whatever. Ryder was thrilled with his new mini stick, so that was all that really mattered.

So there we sat while the game started up again, the kids quietly eating their ice cream, Hubs back to chatting with his buddy, while I sat and wondered how long this calm-during-the-storm would last. At one point, Ty dragged his attention off his friend and informed me that he saw me up on the big screen, but my face was turned away because I was looking down at Ryder. Not wanting this to be true, I asked how he knew it was me if he hadn't seen my face. "Well, your red coat, duh." Oh. Great. But actually, I'm thankful that my face wasn't on the screen because I would have been grimacing-and-bearing-it. How attractive would THAT have been? Yikes. I said, "Well, hopefully the camera won't return to this section." He looked at me funny and replied, "Uh, we're right behind the goalie, this section gets the MOST attention from the cameras." DOH!

So anyway, that calm thing I mentioned? Ya, it didn't last long. Ryder lost interest halfway through his ice cream. He decided that banging his mini stick on the empty seats in front of us was wayyy more cool. And of course, I had The Mouth sitting beside me, egging him on. And that is when I lost it. Just spazzed out.

Reached over and grabbed Ty's arm, snagging his attention away from Bestfriend McWorkguy. "What, what do you want?" UM, WHAT DO I WANT? How about for you to pay a friggin' lick of attention to what is going on here and help me out a bit? Do you even REALIZE that Ryder has eaten a bucket's worth of popcorn from the floor? And that everyone around is about to murderlize him for being a complete brat? And that he's smeared ice cream all over himself and me and the chair? And that I am about one second away from getting up and leaving to go sit in the truck? Oh, and THANKS A BUNCH for asking to switch me seats, I totally see what you did there. DO YOU REALIZE ALL THAT???"

Poor Ty, I really do feel for the guy. He handled my outburst very well. Returned his attention to me and the kids, sat Ryder on his lap and talked to him about the game, actually diverting the little DICKens attention from being a brat to the game. So phew, I calmed down and chilled out and was able to enjoy the game as much as I could with The Mouth still carrying on beside me. But then, miracle of miracles, her family decided to get something to eat and they all left their seats. So I quickly moved to sit beside Ty, leaving Lena and an empty seat beside The Mouth's seat. Yesssss! My eardrums breathed a sigh of sweet blessed relief.

So now it was the third period, game almost over. The ref called for a brief time-out and the cameras started rolling on the audience again. Lena stood up in her seat, waving one of those cards she'd found on the ground. And wonder of wonders, the camera focused on her and Ryder, cheering and waving that card, and when they saw their faces up on the big screen... well, it was a moment I'll never forget. Just pure, utter elation and excitement. "Mom, we're on the big tv! Am I famous now? Am I on the REAL tv?" I just ran with it, "You sure are! Wow, you're on tv! Smile! Wave!" I think it was the biggest thrill of her life. The icing on the cake was that she looked awesome, a totally cool outfit on, pretty face and hair, huge grin. Ya.

Finally the game ended but the spectators were told to stay in their seats because for the very first time, there was going to be an indoors fireworks display! The lights went off, everyone got real quiet, and it began....

(So friggin' sorry for my high-pitched yelling, talk about EMBARRASSING!!! Why did I do that? What is WRONG with me?? So you might want to turn down your volume so your speakers don't blow. SORRY!!)

But yeah, we had a great time (at least that last little bit). Don't know if I'd do it again, though. LOL

Peeve of the Week: Dough-Heads

That's what I call people who have "Derp" moments (click on the link to see what I mean). And today, it was either Tyler or Gunnar who earned the nickname 'Dough-Head'.

They were up at the butt-crack of dawn to go fishing. I woke up a few hours later, wandered into the kitchen and, still in that just-woke-up-daze, started cleaning up. For some reason, there was a box of salt on the counter. I picked it up to put back in the cupboard and woosh, out pours all the salt. Some dough-head left the spout half-open, AND the box was upside-down (which, in my daze, I didn't notice). When I picked up the box, the salt inside shifted towards the spout.

So picture me, dazed and confused, standing there with salt covering the entire counter, the floor, some even made its way into the fresh cup of coffee I'd just made.

DOUGH-HEADS!!

Peeve of the Week: Call Waiting Answer-ers

Now, don't get me wrong. I've had call waiting before, and I know that many of you have it and use it. I myself only used it if I was talking to someone and a real important call came through, or someone I'd been waiting to hear back from. And even then, I would feel terrible for telling the person I was currently talking to that I had to take that call. But what really grinds my gears (Family Guy reference there, hah) is when someone 'call-waitings' me. And there is a particular person who does that to me ALL THE TIME.

Usually I don't give a rat because the phone calls tend to be very lengthy with this person. Well, it does irk me and I think to myself 'rude!' but I'm used to this person's ignorant people skills, so whatever.

But the other day, wow, I had just had it up to here with her. I called to wish her a happy birthday, the kids and I sang the birthday song, and we'd been chatting maybe a minute when I could tell she had another call on the line. Now, if that was ME, I would ignore it and keep talking to the person who had taken time out of her busy day to call with birthday greetings. But no, this person says to me, interrupting me in mid-sentence, "Oh, I gotta go." and just hangs up on me to take the call.

Wow. I just shook my head. Does this person have a total lack of manners and courtesy or what? I mean, yeah, it was her birthday so it was probably someone calling about that, but when it is EVER appropriate to just rapidly ditch one caller so you can soak up attention from another caller? I was pissed!

She has since called me back (I did not answer) and left a voicemail apologizing for not calling me back, blahblahblah. Notice it was not an apology for ditching my call, just for not calling back.

Whatever. I have just about had it with her. The Deserada poem echoes in my head when I deal with her lately, "Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit."

Five Question Friday

1. Do you know how to play a musical instrument?
I can play a tiny bit of piano by ear, and if you gave me a ukulele I could probably pick out 'Ode to Joy' (thanks Mr Billous! <-- grade 6 music teacher)

2. What is your pet peeve while driving?
Oooooo, do not even get me started. You know, I never used to have road rage, back in my beginner driving days. I don't know if its just that driving with Hubs has rubbed off on me over the years or that people nowadays have their heads up their asses. But there are some times when I literally have to make myself count to ten and take deep breaths so I don't become one of those roadrageaholics you see screaming and honking and sticking the middle finger out the window. The drivers that piss me off the worst are the ones who:

• don't use their signal light, or the ones who wait until the verrrry last second to put it on. I especially hate those ones; they see you stopped, waiting for them to go by and at the last second put on their light and turn, when if they would have had some common courtesy they'd have signalled as soon as they saw you stopped so you could have made your right turn and not sat there for five minutes.
• drive too slow in the fast lane, arrrghhh! Pull over and let me by, idiot!
• pull out into the fast lane right in front of you
• there they are, sitting at the stop sign, but rather than let you go by and then pull out after you, no they figure they have to hit the gas and make it before you do, because heaven forbid they have to wait ten seconds (for both this peeve and the one above, when these people ignorantly pull out in front of me, I do not slam on the brakes and let a respectful distance between us, no I ride their ass so they know what a-holes they are)
• people that ride my ass (haha). Hey, its not rude when I do it, because I am doing it to teach the other person a lesson, whereas they are doing it to me in the hope that I will speed up. Well, listen up jerks-who-ride-my-ass-in-the-hope-that-I-will-speed-up, I am most likely already speeding, though not more than 10 over the limit, and I am not willing to be your ticket-taker just so you can make it to work five minutes earlier.
• people that take too long to turn at a green-arrow light. Do they not realize there are about ten cars behind them that also need to turn and we don't appreciate their one km/hr turn that is using up all the precious green-arrow-turning time!
• people that think they have enough time to pass you even though there is obvious traffic in the other lane. Hey, thanks for the gray hairs, I appreciate it. That's right, you idiot, slow down and get back in behind me because I for sure am not going to slow down and let you hastily pull in front of me with inches to spare between our vehicles.

3. Would you rather have a housekeeper or unlimited spa services?

Ohmygod, what a stupid question. Hmmm, let me think... derrrrrr. Oh man, could you even imagine the sheer awesomeness of having a housekeeper? I'd be like, "Oh, you missed a spot on the wall there." Hahah.

4. Is there a song that you hear that will take you back to the moment, like a junior high or high school dance?

Every time I hear More Than Words by Extreme, I remember my first junior high dance with Tyson Pages. Unskinny Bop brings me back to the grade six Camp Alexo trip, and the entire Motley Crue Dr Feelgood album reminds me of driving up to the West Ed Waterpark for Nicky Demarce's birthday (her older sister was driving and was a typical hair-metal groupie, blasting the music and we all sang along).

5. What song best represents your life right now?
Wow, this is kind of a hard question for me. Is there even a song out there that could properly convey what my life is currently like: trying to be a healthy positive role model to my kids, working out, keeping house, adoring my husband, spending time with my family and friends, taking each day as it comes, trying to keep everything on track. You know -- LIFE.

But, as of right this second, just having went out onto the deck, so beautiful outside, I'd say Soak Up the Sun by Sheryl Crow. :)

Peeve of the Week: Stupid People

And by stupid, I mean the ones that are either intentionally ignorant or are just completely oblivious to their idiocy.

Case in point: I was driving down Lakeshore the other day, heading east past the marina. If you've been down there recently you know that there is road construction and lane size is greatly reduced. Traffic was a bit heavy and it was a tight squeeze for vehicles to make it past each other. To the right of my vehicle were two people riding bicycles, a man and woman. The woman, smartly, was riding on the sidewalk; however, her idiot man-friend was riding his bike right on the road, half in my lane. There were a few cars coming toward me so I had to hit the brakes and inch along behind him until they passed me. Then I was able to swerve around him. Rolled down my window, leaned over and yelled to him, "DUDE! Get on the sidewalk! You're going to get hit, DUH!!" then drove away. Saw in my rear mirror that he quickly moved up onto the sidewalk and his woman-friend was shaking her head at him.

What a bonehead!

Peeve of the Week: "Who's That Lady?" Swiffer commercials

You know what commercials I mean. For some reason I just cannot stand them! Lena was watching a girl show the other day and one came on. She turned to me with her face screwed up in disgust and said, "Ew, GROSS! Why would they say 'sexy', that's gross!" I couldn't help but laugh, then I replied, "Yeah, I know! I hate those commercials."

With her expressive little face reflecting her scorn, she said "And as if a broom and mop could really kiss each other!".

Exactly.