'The Art of Being Cheap': Grown-Up Edition

Some of you may remember the 'Art of Being Cheap' essay I did back in highschool (the teacher, Mrs Berry, actually kept it to use as a model of "perfect essay-writing" for future generations... yes, my poor brothers had to endure "Your sister wrote that?" when they hit that grade, haha). Well, here's another thing to add to that list:

Taking clothes from arena Lost & Found boxes!

Omg, yes, I can't believe I do that, but I do. I'll admit it. And hey, why not? That stuff just sits there, no one comes back to claim it. And at least I'm not totally shameless about it, I have the kids root through the stuff for me. Who's going to say anything about little kids sorting through the stuff, "looking for toys", right?

Over the years we have taken home:

- a pair of girls figure-skates for Lena (perfect size, too)

- countless name-brand clothes  (the expensive brands, too!)

- brand new mittens and toques

- warm snuggly fleece blankets in amazing condition

- a pair of brand-new winter boots for Ryder (who forgets their child's boots at an arena?)

- toys (Barbies, toy cars and trucks, etc)

So the point of this post is because I want to brag about the BEST L&F find I ever made. 

We were in Olds last Friday night for Gunnar's game and during the second period, Ryder got a drink from the water fountain and ended up soaking his shirt. SOAKING it. The entire shirt. (How does that even happen?) And guess what? Stupid Mommy didn't bring the spare-clothes backpack! It was back home, sitting on the floor by the front door. Argh! So we had to go downstairs and check out the lost & found bin for something he could wear. One good thing about the bin's location is that its only player change rooms down there, it was practically deserted (no one to witness us rooting through everything! yay! lol). And in a streak of good fortune, I found a canvas grocery bag in the bin to put all our 'loot'. 

I found TWO American Eagle hoodies (both mens sizes) and a beautiful "vintage-style" (what it said on the tag) girls sweater. The only reason I was hyped about the American Eagle brand is because lately that is ALL Gunnar talks about, "Mom, I need you to take me to the American Eagle store in the mall, that's what everyone is wearing now, I have to some of their clothes, next year I'm only getting AE jeans, etc". *Sigh* The typical style-conscious, peer-pressured teen, right? 

I did actually take Gunnar to that store over Christmas holidays, he walked in, browsed, and was out in 10 minutes, telling me in a low voice "I need to save up more money before I can get anything", and considering he had a wallet with $100 in it, I KNOW that place is effin expensive. 

So the two mens hoodies I found have got to be worth upwards of $150 each, I figure. They're practically brand new! 

Anyway, I guess most people would be too embarrassed to go through a lost and found bin or at least admit to it. Meh, the way I see it... look who's going home with the AE hoodies, booya!

A DIY learning experience

I made my list, checked it twice, was gonna make myself something both knotty and nice... the bouncy-ball necklace from my P.S. I Made This book!

Went to Dollarama for the supplies:

Brightly-colored bouncy balls... check.
Black nylons... check.

Came home, Lena and I got out the scissors and flipped to the page. Then we realized that in addition to the small bouncy balls we bought, we also needed at least four LARGER balls for the bottom strand. Darn it! So downstairs we ran, to the boys' box of ministicks and balls. The only balls we could find in the right size were white and fluorescent orange golf balls! But oh well, we thought, we would just have to make do.

So back to the project... With all our supplies ready, we started once again. Only to realize a few more things...

1. Instead of buying full-length nylons, apparently I'd picked up knee-length. DOH!! So then I had to raid my sock drawer for a pair of black nylons that weren't full of runs. Aha! Found the only pair. Back to the kitchen.

2. The project calls for SHEER black nylons. Because you want the colors to show through, and also sheer nylons are a thinner texture, which makes the knotting easier and also they're much stretchier. The nylons from my sock drawer were thick black. THICK. Zero color showed through, the knots were thick and clumsy, and because of the no-stretch factor, there wasn't enough material left over on the sides to provide a nice finished length. As a result, my necklace turned out more like a choker. An ugly, awkward choker.

3. The author uses four large balls on the bottom strand and four small ones on the top. In the picture, it shows she even used a fifth ball on the bottom strand, but its a smaller ball which kind of balances it out in a weird way. I, in my wisdom, decided I would use another large ball for the fifth. But when my lovely CHOKER necklace was finished and I looked in the mirror, here the bottom strand with its five giant balls and the top strand with four little balls, looked weird and didn't hang right.

We ended up using the knee-length nylons and a few of the leftover small balls to make a smaller-sized necklace for Lena. And because those nylons were sheer, you could actually see the vibrant colors. So her necklace is actually pretty darn cute and she is going to wear it for her first day back at school on Thursday.

Looks like I, however, am shit-out-of-luck. Guess I'll be heading back to Dollarama to get the PROPER supplies. Will let y'all know how it goes.

Plato's Cl-OMG! GIMME!

You guys have heard of Plato's Closet in Red Deer, right? (If not, click the link there.) Its sort of the same idea as Once Upon a Child, only for teens and young adults. My cousin Kim mentioned to me that I should take Gunnar there to look for clothes. So last Saturday, we decided to go.

Its right beside Once Upon a Child (and thank god I listened to Kim's directions how to get there because my GPS told me it was a block north, on the left, stupid GPS). In we went; Gunnar headed straight to the back where the guy section was, but my eyes were immediately pulled to the rows upon rows of shoes, on shelves above the clothes racks. But one pair in particular had me gasping and hauling ass to grab them before the girl browsing that section could spot them. PURPLE patent leather spike heels! ZOMG. And whaddaya know --- size 8! Price? $8. Ya. I know.

WELL. Then I was on a mission, to find every cool pair of shoes in my size and nab them before the sweet young things wandering the store could. Picked up another pair of gold-trimmed brown suede T-strap wedge heels, $5. Checked out the boots, unfortunately the only pair in my size had a wicked-high arch and looked just uncomfortable -- though they were cute.

On to the purses. Found a wicked black leather purse with two huge zipper pockets on the front, very rocker-ish, $6. A hot-pink and black checkered patent leather clasp wallet, $2. I know, right?

Checked out their hats; found a gray small-print hounds-tooth newsboy with two big buttons on either side of the brim, and a black thick canvas-feel hat with buckles and straps on the sides, similar in look to my old favorite black Rbk hat. $4 each. Ya. I know.

Handed off my findings to a poor salesgirl, "Take these and hold them for me, must...continue...shopping..."

I figured I would check out the clothes, see if there were any in my size. The amount of stuff in there is simply staggering and I had no idea where to start. A good pair of well-fitting jeans is always hard to find (especially for my body shape) but I thought I'd see what was available. Rifled through about twenty pairs in my size, found several that looked promising. Added them to my 'try-on-later' pile at the checkout desk.

On to shirts; found about twenty, as well as a beautiful gray button front sweater with 3/4 length bell sleeves. Added them to the pile.

Then it was time to try everything on. Quite the process, as I'm sure you can relate. (Meanwhile, Gunnar had amassed quite the pile of his own and was also ready to try his stuff on.) So there we were, side by side in our changing rooms, me going "Omg Gunnar, I love this shirt, you should see it!" and he's going "You wouldn't believe the stuff I found!" We were like two excited giddy peas in a pod.

So of all the shirts I found, I only kept about eight (most were around $5-6 though two were only $3), and the gray sweater. Oh! And I got a beautiful halter-style black and white dress with a black satin ribbon that ties around the waist, so pretty, $10.

Then it was time to try on the jeans. (And keep in mind that we were only allowed six items at a time in the dressing room, so I had to keep getting redressed to go out and exchange my stuff for more. To top it off, I was wearing a hat --bad hair day-- so had to keep it on AND I had to keep putting my coat back on because I was wearing an ugly shirt that day, doh!)

So I'm trying on pair after pair of jeans and none of them were fitting well. They were all either too long, the legs were too roomy, or the waist was loose. Then I realized... I'd went down a size! YESSS!! What a sweet feeling that was. But that meant having to go back to the jean section and browse through all those sizes. So I did and headed back to the change room with several pairs, two of which ended up being keepers, at $8 each.

You guys, do you know how long its been since I bought a pair of jeans? AGES. And they're nice. Tight enough in the waist to hold everything in but not too tight that I have a muffin top. Legs are closely fitted but not the 'skinny' style. And they're name brand (like I really care but it does make you feel a bit more cool to NOT be wearing jeans from Walmart, haha), not a name brand I recognize but Gunnar told me he knows people who wear that brand. You hear that? Sweet affirmation that I'm not a style dud.

We walked out of the store $200 poorer, but soooo much richer, style-wise. Gunnar picked up somewhere between 10-15 shirts, all the name brands that he likes, at about $5 each; a gray zip-up Adidas hoody that looks brand new for $13; and two pairs of jeans, $8 each. I got my two pairs of shoes, the purse and wallet, the two pairs of jeans, the two hats, the dress, and all those shirts. One of which is a wrap-style purple print silky material that fits (and looks) just right. Can wear it with my new purple spike heels!

We got a 20% off coupon for our next visit (seeing as how we spent so much) and we'll definitely be back. Their stock is constantly coming and going so I'm excited to see what's there next time.

Yay! I finally have cool clothes in my closet!

Five Question Friday

1. What do you listen to while driving?

Usually, my ipod loaded with all my favorite songs (that I tend to skip through to find the Adam Lambert and Justin Bieber songs; the former because, well, its ADAM-FRIGGIN-LAMBERT and the latter because I live to torment my boys, muahahah). But if the ipod is dead, I go through all my pre-programmed radio channels to find which one is playing the best song. I have to have music to listen to. If the ipod is dead and all the radio stations suck, then I am in agony. Because listening to silence or, even WORSE, kids bickering just really 'drives' me bonkers. (Get it, 'drives', because I'm in the car, huh, huh? Okay, sorry.)

2. What is your least favorite thing about Fall?
Never knowing if its going to be nice out or cold, because then my front entry is filled with a mix of warm heavy coats and light thin coats, mitts and hats, shoes, rubber boots, winter boots, dirt chunks on the floor, mud tracks, bike helmets, rollerblades, hockey sticks, skateboards....

3. What does your dream house look like, inside and out?
Oooo, love this question! I have spent many a time making fantasy lists from the Ikea catalogue of what I want in each room, what color walls I want, carpet or hardwood, themes, etc. For the outside of my dream home, I love the natural look: lots of stone or dark granite/slate, huge front and back yard with tons of trees and flower beds and a little patio with a beautiful sitting area (lots of dark bamboo patio furniture and glass/black metal tables), either dark gray or brown vinyl or wood siding, at least two stories tall, huge attached garage and front driveway, maybe a wraparound deck or at least a nice front porch with a couple of columns, lots of flower pots and hanging plants. For the inside, I'd love a huge front entry with a large spacious coat closet (I love front entries, or foyers for you snooty types, that have cute little tables with a mirror hung above, looks so classy, and of course a beautiful vase of fresh flowers on the table). Open design and vaulted ceilings so it feels light and airy. Giant kitchen with lots of cupboards, two ovens, one of those big fridges that have the freezer on the bottom, like in a pull-out drawer. A big island smack-dab in the middle of the kitchen with shelves and cupboards built in. Don't know what color/type of wood I'd want in the kitchen, but probably something darker with pewter knobs to contrast with the walls, which I would love to be a light mossy green. Lots of plants, hanging and in pots. French doors leading out onto a big deck that leads down to the backyard. You know what, I could continue on for every room in the house but then you'd be reading for hours, so let's just end the fantasy now.

4. Would you ever own a minivan?
I have, it was green and for the time that we had it, I loved it. Lots of room for the kids, had that fun sliding door, lots of room in the back. But it wasn't necessarily the safest kind of vehicle for Alberta winter driving so we switched to the Durango. And now I'm driving my Suzuki XL-7 (Suzi), its a crossover (half SUV-half van), which I absolutely love and adore; it has proven itself to be reliable on the winter roads, its great on gas, looks cute and fun and sporty, not too big like a truck or SUV, not too small like a car (though it drives like one, which I love -- sometimes the Durango felt like driving a bus).



5. Do you wash new clothes before wearing them?
I didn't use to, because I liked how the clothes looked all pressed and neat and perfect. But then my bff Christine told me that she read somewhere that the process used to treat the clothes (giving them that perfect look) uses formaldehyde, which can be absorbed by the skin. So now I'm all paranoid and have to wash them. As for 'new' (to me) clothes from Valloo Vallajhe, YES, they MUST be washed! My hands always smell like pee after shopping there from touching all the clothes as I flip through the racks and it traumatizes me! I've learned to bring wet wipes and hand sanitizer on these shopping trips, and I use them every ten minutes or so. I'm sure I look like one of those germaphobes but I literally shudder just remembering the feel and smell of my hands in that place! Ah well, how I suffer for fashion (and low prices!), haha.

Five Question Friday

1. Did you have a pen pal when you were little (or now)? Where were/are they from?

I had totally forgotten until just now that I DID have a penpal, two actually! The school started a penpal program and we could choose one from a long list; I chose a girl from Thailand. I must admit she was better at the whole penpal thing than I was -- she would send me letters with little gifts enclosed, usually origami animals or beautifully decorated bookmarks that she made herself. I was always in awe that she made those things! And her letters were always so neatly printed and full of really interesting things about her daily life. Mine were utterly boring, I'm sure; talk about school and friends, life on an acreage, boys. Maybe to her they were interesting, just because our lives were so different, who knows. I would recieve a letter from her probably about once every couple of months or so. My letters in return were more sporadic, usually when I finally remembered to reply. Bad me! The other penpal I had was from Australia, I think. Only corresponded with her a couple of times then I think we both sort of lost interest. Eventually my Thai penpal quit corresponding, I think because she graduated (she was older than me, obviously), but we had a good two-or-three year run.



2. If you could do a different job for one day, what would it be?
Sometimes I think I'd like to try nursing. This is usually brought on by being on the recieving end of a really special nurse who has made an impact on me. When I was in labor with Gunnar, I had a Scottish nurse who took me under her wing, I was a scared-shitless eighteen year old going through this scary process and she comforted me like I was her own daughter; and yet she wasn't afraid to scold me when I said "I can't do this!" or to give me tough-love encouragement ("You got yourself into this, you can darn well finish it!" and that was exactly what I needed to hear). Something about nurses like that make one think that if you have those qualities of empathy and encouragement, that you could help someone else like that. Of course, then I remember that I don't take demands very well and that people start to annoy me after a while. Nurses are a very special breed and I honestly don't think I have the capacity to be a truly good one.

3. Do you remember your biggest fear from when you were little?
Being kidnapped or else having my mom or brothers die. I used to have nightmares about that all the time.



4. What do you think is a waste of time? Why?
Trying to reason with a bratty kid. I know that sounds harsh, but its true. I always see kids having meltdowns and the parent is practically kissing their ass to get them to behave. I call that a "first-time parent thing", haha. And yes, I do remember doing that as well. When we just had Gunnar and I had it in my head that I would be the best parent ever, I would do everything the child-rearing books said, try to reason with him, calm him down, promise this and that, try to talk it out with him. Once I had more kids, I realized that's all just a waste of time. What a kid in melt-down mode really needs is for the parent to step in, set firm guidelines and then follow through.
In most cases, the child's emotions are raging out of control, they don't know how to process what they're feeling, usually they can't even identify what exactly it is they're feeling. I remember teaching Gunnar the difference between feeling angry, confused, sad, jealous, nervous (remember? "nervous and allergic"?? lol), so that when he did get overwhelmed with emotion, he could use his words to describe why he was upset. So I'm a big advocate of taking a firm hand during tantrums. And I don't mean beating the child or anything like that. I just mean, recognizing that the situation has gotten out of hand, that no amount of talking or reasoning is going to help, and that sometimes you just have to say "Enough!", take the child to a quiet place, tell them you will come back when they have calmed down enough to talk, and then follow through. I do not believe in spanking during tantrums. A tantrum is usually just an overflow of confusing emotions being expressed the only way a child knows how; I would never punish the child for that. Spanking is saved for situations when its called for, like intentionally hurting someone, doing something self-harmful like running into the street when a car is coming, etc.



5. What is the oldest item you have in your closet?
I have a pair of white jeans, size 30, from before I had Gunnar. I remember buying them for the start of grade 12 and they were my absolute favorite pair of jeans. I looked hot in them. So I've kept them for all these years because they're my "one day" jeans. One day I'll be able to wear them again, hahah. I also have a really cute jean jacket from those days as well.

Five Question Friday

1. What is the first nightmare you remember?

Didn't I just do a post about this subject? The first nightmare I remember is the one about the grinning skeletons in the forest, hanging from nooses, while I ran frantically down a dark, narrow path. I believe I was around three or four at the time.

2. Even if you're not a sports fan, what's your favorite sport to play/watch?
I like to play soccer and badminton; I also like playing catch, and sometimes even volleyball (though I always make the ball go soaring in the opposite direction I want it to). I like to watch hockey, but only if its live; I can't stand hockey on tv because the non-stop commentary irks me (mostly because I don't understand all the jargon). I love watching the summer Olympics, especially the water sports like diving, synchronized swimming (not lane swimming though, borrrring); and the gymnastic events like the uneven bars, floor routines, balance beam, etc. I also really like figure skating. I was privileged enough last year to see Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir's emotional and breath-taking Gold-winning Olympic performance. On tv, not live, didn't mean to make it sound that way. But the tv commentary person even agreed that it was second only to Torville and Dean's Olympic performance back in the 80s (which I have seen on youtube and agree that it was the most elegant, flowing, emotional, stunning ice performance EVER).



3. If you could pull off one piece of trendy fashion, what would you want it to be (jeggings, hats, thigh high boots, etc.)?
Omg, I would never wear jeggings (jean leggings), ack! But that look, of the skinny jeans/pants, is one I wish I could pull off gracefully and stylishly; instead, I'd look like an apple on toothpicks, lol! Also, I've always wished I could pull off a cool scarf, wrapped funk-ily. I now know that my own friggin' Diva Fashionista daughter, at age five, can pull off that look (thanks Granny Hag, its her new favorite outfit, she wore it to school today!) like she's been doing it all her life. She even knows three different ways to tie/wrap the scarf. And she looks amazing! So funky and cool and just plain awesome. I'd probably look like a nerd who was trying too hard to be cool. *sigh*



4. Did you make good grades in school?
Of course! I was lucky, though, to be blessed with a photographic memory and a genuine love of learning. School came easy to me, I never had to study for tests or exams (at least until grade 12, when suddenly I found myself having to make an effort to get those good grades, it SUCKED!). The subject that was easiest for me was always English; I aced all the essays, words and thoughts just seemed to flow onto the page. It helped that in the eyes of Mrs. Berry, the English teacher, I could do no wrong, I was her Golden Child. She even asked to keep a copy of my "The Art of Being Cheap" short satirical essay, and years later my brothers excitedly told me that they were studying the "composition" of that very essay in their English class! Kind of thrilling: my one educational claim-to-fame, haha. Also, I do recall that grade nine math was a cinch, 100% or close to on every test. (What can I say, I loved algebra.)



5. What magazines do you subscribe to?
None at the moment. I used to subscribe to Star magazine (celeb gossip) because the school was having a magazine fundraiser and I got the subscription for like 80% off what the average person would have to pay. $20 or something for a year's subscription, can't beat that. Of course, now I just get all my celeb gossip from my favorite websites, like A Socialite's Life, Bitten and Bound, D-Listed, Celebitchy, In Case You Didn't Know, Crazy Days and Nights (great blind items), and Celebrity Smack.

Lena the Photog

Some of these pics Lena took using the self-portrait option. There's a few that'll make you laugh out loud, you'll know why when you see them (perfect teenage blackmail material, muahaha).

I finally converted the non-believer!

Ever since I've known him, Hubs has been strongly anti-Value Village. When we first moved to Red Deer I got a job at Toys R Us and had to come up with a 'uniform' of black pants and a white dress shirt. Being on a strict budget (meaning completely broke, the norm for young punks like us) meant I couldn't go out to Sears or the Bay and drop $50, so instead I went to Value Village (made Ty come with) and only spent like $10. I was just thrilled but I remember him being horrified by that place. He'd never been in there and he vowed he never would again. He said the smell of the place, you know that smell, traumatized him and he could never imagine wanting to wear someone's castoff clothes. Typical spoiled-rich-boy attitude, eh?

For years, I tried to get him to change his way of thinking. When I'd show him all the awesome finds I'd made there, clothes for the kids and myself at a fraction of the price, he'd just smile and say, "That's nice." But he'd still refuse to let me buy him clothes there. When I brought home one of those huge molded plastic kitchen sets for Lena and he saw that I only paid $10 for it, I think his attitude started to change. Just a little, though.

In the past month, Hubs has managed to destroy three pairs of his work pants, giant rips in the crotch and legs that would be impossible to fix by sewing. Which left him with only two pairs of work jeans. He mentioned that he should go shopping for some new jeans for work. Which just enraged me, "You mean you want to buy NEW jeans so you can wear them to WORK?! I don't think so!" I mean, how bone-headed is that? New jeans at like $40 a pop, just to wear to work and get them all dirty, stained and ripped? NO. So I decided to go against his anti-VV mindset and pick him up some new pants at, where else, VV. Unbeknownst to him, of course. I'd just hand him the pants and he'd have no choice but to accept them, since they were already paid for. Right? Makes sense.

So when my wonderful, thoughtful grandma Dea called me Sunday night to let me know VV's 50% sale was the next day, it seemed like providence. Loaded up the kids Monday morning, drove to VV, and got to work shopping. And when I say 'got to work', I really mean it. That place was PACKED. I managed to find the lone parking space, only to discover once inside that all the carts were gone! So with my new attitude of 'no regrets, be bold', I commandeered a cart full of clothes sitting by itself at the end of an aisle. No one seemed to care when I dumped the clothes out into a bin, so I figured it must have been a cart that a worker had placed unwanted clothes into. So that small triumph set the tone for the next three hours. Yes, three hours, people. I literally went down every single aisle.

First I loaded up on clothes for No.3 and No.4. Got Lena five new pairs of jeans, really nice ones too. A couple of skirts, lots of t-shirts, two really sweet jean jackets, and a totally wicked pair of shitkicker boots for her. (When I told her that since they really are shit-kicker boots, she was allowed to say that, she was so shocked and thrilled, "You mean I can really say that word? Yesss! I can't wait to tell Gramma Hag about my new shitkickers!" Yep, that's my girl.) Ryder got about ten new pairs of pants, three pairs of summer shorts, lots of t-shirts, and a new pair of sandals.

Then I moved on to the boys section, looking for new shirts for No.1 and No.2. And man, did I ever find some awesome stuff! A couple of West 49 shirts, a Moto-X one, a few with funky cool skull designs, even a black shirt with their school logo on it! They each got about six new shirts, and they were ecstatic over what I picked out for them. To the point where I was almost offended, "What, you think I have bad taste or something? Did you think I'd get you Bob the Builder shirts or something? Geezsh!"

Next I moved on to the women's section. Three t-shirts (one is a retro-looking Blondie one, so cool), a pair of white capris in that light sweatshirt material, and a sweet pair of Levi's low-cut jeans. Oh, and a pair of wedge heels. Because you know that I scoured that shoe section like crazy. Heels and purses seem to be my new obsession. I'd originally had about twenty pairs of jeans and capris in the cart to try on, but when I saw how long the line was for the change rooms and the lady told me you could only try on 5 at a time, then had to go to the end of the line to wait for your next turn, I was like, "HELL no." Put all the pants back but for that one pair of jeans and the capris.

So by this time, we'd already been there a good two-and-a-half hours. Thank GOD I had the foresight to bring a lunchbag stuffed with snacks and juiceboxes for the kids, else I would have lost my ever-lovin' mind. By the time I made it to the men's pants section, almost all the food was gone and the kids had that look in their eyes, like they were going to strangle me if I took any longer. I made my way through all the t-shirts, must've looked at 500 shirts before choosing two that I was pretty sure he'd like. He's real picky with shirts, so I have to be very choosy. Then on to jeans. Out of the hundreds of pairs there in his size, I'd say a good 90% were Wranglers. Hubs would not be caught dead in Wranglers, ever, so those were out. After much deliberation and careful thought, I found him three new-ish looking pairs of Levi's (at half price, so around $7 a pair, what a steal!). And as I left that aisle and headed for the check-out, I noticed a pair of grey shorts hanging on the end of a rack. Went to check them out, turns out they were Airwalk shorts, kind of dressy-looking like golf shorts. For $4! I was so thrilled.

Oh, and I should mention that Lena made me go through the toy section with her. She begged me for stuffed animals and dollys, to which I emphatically told her NO, we don't need any more of those in the house. So she settled on a bag full of Polly Pocket stuff (a car, clothes, figurines, a little house, etc) and a bag full of various stencils. Stencils! I mean, I'm always on the lookout for more stuff to add to the arts and craft arsenal we got going on, but stencils? Her reasoning was that then the brothers could do stencils with her and they'd all have fun, and who can refute that? What a little sweetheart.

So anyway, flash forward to that night. The boys had already been through their stuff, ecstatic and quite in awe of me and my mad fashion-skills. But we were all anxious to see how Daddy would react to what I'd got him. Remember, this is the man who's trash-talked VV for years. I'll admit, he did make me bargain with him, he said "a kiss for trying on each item", so that worked out to six kisses. Suited me just fine, best bargain I ever made! Haha. What a stinker he is. But here is the totally awesome, amazing thing -- he friggin' LOVED the clothes! When he tried on the three pairs of jeans, he just couldn't believe how "nice" they were, "practically new!" I told him his ass looked sweeeet in them, so of course then he had to strut around and model them for me. He actually said to me about the one super-nice pair, "I'll have to keep these in my emergency overnight bag, so if I get sent up north I can wear them and not look grungy, and all the hot waitresses at the hotel restaurant will try to flirt with me." I just grinned and shook my head at him. He tried on the Airwalk shorts and when I expressed anxiety that they looked a little tight, he assured me, "Oh, well, once I drop my drinking-weight, they'll fit better." What is that, "drinking-weight"? "You know, if I stop drinking I drop like 20 pounds." Must be frickin' nice!!!! MEN! So not fair. And the shirts I got him, his reaction was hilarious! "Why would anyone want to give these away? Are they insane? These are awesome!" So he just thought I was THE shit after that, the fashion Queen, the most wonderful wife ever!

What a relief. I should have done this years ago, eh? Just taken the bull by the horns, disregarded his vanity and snobbish mindset, and gone ahead and done it. I think he's probably thinking the same thing! I'll admit that I had to get in a couple of 'told-you-so's in there. After all, behind every great man is the even greater woman who picks out his clothes, right? LOL

Fashion Do's & Dont's

A couple Christmases ago, I found this totally awesome book on Amazon as a present for my BFF Chris, Vice Do's & Don'ts (10 years of Vice Magazine's Street Fashion Critiques). I made the mistake of taking a peek at the first page of critiques, and two hours later (no joke) as I read the last page, I realized what a gem I was giving up. I had to phone Chris and tell her that her Christmas present would be slightly 'used' -- she had no idea what the gift was so she was like, "Oh-kayyyy...?" Haha.


Anyway, she recently lent me the book so I could go through it again. I've taken a couple of my favorites and scanned them in so I could post them, just for y'all!