Fight like a girl!

A facebook friend posted a link to an article from www.rookiemag.com called 'Fight Like a Girl' and I highly suggest every woman and mother-of-daughter(s) should read it. 


A brief synopsis (copied-and-pasted from various parts of the article):


"Girl’s aren’t supposed to get angry. Here’s why you should ignore that 'rule.'


According to researchers, this behavior is a major part of how girls (not all girls, obviously, but generally as a population) handle anger. It’s called “relational aggression,” a really textbooky term that just means “using friendships to bully people.” The tactics of “relational aggression” include telling people’s secrets, forming alliances to gang up on them, spreading rumors, sabotaging their projects, and giving them the silent treatment. This has just as many serious consequences as other kinds of bullying: it damages people’s confidence, makes them less likely to trust people or enjoy spending time with others, and can even lead to their doing poorly in school, developing anxiety and depression, or becoming suicidal. It’s underhanded, it’s dishonest, and it’s cruel. But it’s also what lots of girls do."


This article aims to teach girls and women how to 'fight' with each other. There are rules:


Rule #1: Being Angry Doesn’t Make You a Jerk
Rule #2: Arguing Is Not a Team Sport

Rule #2(a): If You Can Say It to Her Face, Don’t Say It on Facebook

Rule #3: Doing Bad Things Doesn’t Make You a Bad Person

Complication #1: You Both Did Bad Things, Oh No!

Complication #2: Some People Don’t Want to Make Things Better

The Stirring Conclusion: Fighting Like a Girl Can Change the World

"So, you had a fight. Yeesh, that was draining. But let’s list everything you didn’t do, while you were fighting: You didn’t lie. You didn’t betray a fellow girl. You didn’t try to expose any girls to verbal or physical harassment. You didn’t destroy another girl’s confidence. You didn’t make it less likely for that girl to succeed at work or in school, either intentionally or as a side effect of your actions. You didn’t hurt yourself, or treat yourself like you deserved to be hurt. You didn’t let your fear control you. I’ve got to stress this: You didn’t make any girls less confident, less successful, or more endangered by harassment. You, therefore, have taken yourself off the team that is constantly rooting for girls to do poorly in school, to do badly in life, to hate themselves, and to be scared all the time. You just scored a victory for feminism, my friend. Because you had a little honest conflict.

It is essential for girls to learn how to fight. Knowing how to say “this is messed up” without feeling guilty is a huge part of being strong. But girls also have to know how to fight without destroying one another. There are too many girl-destroying forces out there; we can’t afford to do their work for them. 

'Fighting like a girl' can mean 'relational aggression.' It can mean being indirect, being untrustworthy, causing drama in order to make yourself feel better at another person’s expense. But 'fighting like a girl' can also mean just being honest, open, and willing to have a little healthy conflict once in a while. Girls tend to care about our friendships a lot. We do. But part of caring about our friendships is making sure that they are safe spaces in which we can tell the truth about how we feel. So here is the best part, about this second way of fighting like a girl: when you do it, you show that it’s possible. The world doesn’t end. When you’re honest, and stand up for yourself—even when that’s uncomfortable—you make it possible for every other girl to believe she can do the same."

That's my boy!

There was an Atom parent meeting last night (Ardan's team) to discuss some issues that came up and towards the end, Coach Neal came in the room because he had an announcement to make. He started off by saying that for the past two months, he has been observing the players closely, watching their behaviour and interactions on-ice, off-ice, on the bench, in the change room, etc. He paid particular attention to who exhibited natural leadership qualities, who was always respectful to the coaches and other players, who tended to step in when other players needed help or guidance, and whose attributes of strength and patience helped influence and encourage the other players to play their best and to come together as a team.

He said he had made a decision to create a Team Captain for the rest of the season, and that the player he had chosen was the clear, obvious choice....

Of course, we all know what I'm going to say...

So the new Team Captain for the Atom B2 Lakers is...

ARDAN! 

I had a feeling where the speech was going the more he said, and by the end, when he announced that Ardan was our new Team Captain, I had the biggest sh*t-eating grin on my face!  After the meeting was over, I approached him just to say thank you for giving Ardan that recognition, and he told me that Ardan is definite AA material and that he is really excited to see him bring the team together and to observe the ways in which Ardan will naturally lead and strengthen the team. I was so proud I had tears in my eyes!

Unfortunately, Ardan wasn't at the practice because he was sick with the stomach virus that my other kids are going through (had to go pick him up from school, poor kid). But before the next game, Coach is going to sit down with Ardan and myself and go over what a Team Captain's responsibilities and expectations are. I'm really looking forward to that because I know that hearing his Coach tell him how proud and impressed he is of Ardan, listing all the reasons why he was chosen above all the others, will really make a difference in Ardan's self-esteem and confidence. 

You should have seen his face when I got home from the meeting and told him the awesome news. He was blushing with pride, trying not to grin. You know, that closed-mouth smile that eventually breaks into a huge grin. I'm so happy and thrilled for him, so proud of my boy.

More fun with Kippers

Lena & Mommy are super crafty!

Lena was invited to a friend's birthday party, which is tomorrow. This is the little friend, Rhyann, who went with us to the Justin Bieber 'Never Say Never' 3D movie last February. Apparently Rhyann is still obsessed with JB (as are Lena and I) so we went to Walmart and bought her a Justin Bieber 'barbie' doll. THEN, we got the idea to make Rhyann a super-cool 'memory poster' (Lena's words) of our fun time that night. So I printed off the pictures I'd taken that night, as well as some other related pictures from the movie I found on google, got our posterboard and stickers from Dollarama, and we got busy being Crafty!


The end result turned out so amazing that I almost want to keep the thing for Lena (okay, myself, lol). But Lena is really excited to see Rhyann's reaction and I promised her that we could make another one for her.


Take a look... (Are we not awesome?)

Welcome to the Family, Kippers!

I'm sure you know the story by now but if not...


I stopped at Winks Monday morning to get gas and Ryder hopped out of the vehicle to "keep me company". It was pretty chilly out so I huddled into my coat as I pumped the gas. Suddenly Ryder piped up behind me, "Look Mom, its a kitty!" Thinking he meant like a picture of a cat or something I said, "Mm-hmm, sure, that's nice" then turned around to get a look so he wouldn't bombard me with more 'Look, look!'s. And there, nestled in his arms, was a little orange-and-white cat! I immediately scooped up the little darling, poor thing was bone-thin and shivering; it climbed up my body until its head was under my neck, the warmest spot it could find. I opened the back of my Suzi and laid the poor thing in a pile of blankets I keep back there, then we went in to pay for the gas and to speak to the cashier about the cat. She told me it had been hanging around for the past couple days and that the other cashier took pity on it and brought it in to the store for some food. But obviously they couldn't keep it in there and had to put it back outside.


Ryder and I got into the Suzi, looked at each other and said, "We have a new kitty!"


Ryder immediately christened the cat "Frinkle-Nose", it took me half a day to realize he meant Freckle-Nose, haha. I suggested we wait to hear the other kids' ideas for names but that in the mean time, he could call it Frinkle-Nose if he wanted. We set out some water and cat food for our new friend, he fell upon it in a ravenous frenzy, as if it hadn't eaten for days. I did inform Klassic Kennels on facebook that I had found the cat and where, just in case some devastated child out there was grieving for its pet. But I also let them know that we fully planned on keeping the cat, as my son had fallen in love with it. 


Now, a little bit of back-story here: Friday night Ty noticed that Punkin was missing, which was strange and upsetting because she's afraid of going outside. But it was true, we searched everywhere and she was gone. Gunnar noticed tiny footprints outside the back door, leading to the fence. The children all suited up with winter gear and went searching for her, with no luck. What really devastated us was the fact that it was -20 outside, and that cold snap lasted for days. We tried to remain optimistic that a kindly neighbor had found her and taken her in, but as each day passed our hearts grew heavier. Lena in particular, with her sweet and tender heart, grieved the hardest, "I just don't want to imagine her frozen in the snow, Mom!" So when we found this cat the following Monday, it was a much-needed dose of joy and happiness. 


Frinkle-Nose was instantly Ryder's best friend. He asked if it was a boy or girl, I had no clue until Ryder noticed something, "What are these big furry sacks on its bum?" LOL!! So yes, a boy. Little Frinkle spent half the time eating and half the time cuddled in Ryder's arms, rubbing its face and nose against Ryder's face, licking him, and constantly purring. The two were inseparable and Ryder was thrilled to have a pet that allowed him to smother it in love. Wherever Ryder went, so did the cat. 


The kids came home from school, I was in my room and I could tell the exact instant they noticed our new addition to the family. Lena's voice became high-pitched with excitement, even Gunnar's deeper voice was heard chattering amongst the chaos. With great solemnity and importance, Ryder informed everyone that he had found this kitty and SAVED ITS LIFE; its name was Frinkle-Nose and it was his kitty but he would share it and mayyybe let them hold it, but not to be sad if it only wanted Ryder because he was "its favorite". Ha! Gunnar suggested, and No. 2 & 3 agreed, that its new name should be Tiger. Ryder reluctantly accepted that. 


The next couple hours that night were filled with happy little voices and a very, very happy kitty. One of the kids brought up the little cat house Mom had given us (which the other cats had looked at with disdain), Tiger went right in and immediately started playing with the little toys inside, sticking his head out once in a while; he absolutely loved it! 


Pablo wasn't too sure what to think about all this commotion. He seemed actually scared of Tiger! Would run away whenever it came near and hiss and growl if it got too close, which happened a few times because little Tiger was naturally curious about this other cat and tried to be affectionate with Pabs, but Pabs was having none of it. 


So that night, we were all on the couch giving Tiger love and pets, and suddenly I heard a meow sounding like it was coming from outside! We leaped off the couch and ran to the front door... and in ran Punkin! You can imagine the kids' sheer joy and exhilaration. So it was a real day of celebration, the return of a beloved missing family member and the addition of a new one!


The only downside is that the two cats are still hostile to Tiger (who was renamed again to Kippers, as the kids fed him stinky canned kippers) and like to intimidate him whenever they can. Kippers feels pretty safe around me and Ryder and will follow us from room to room; also, he likes to hang out in Ryder's comfy bed as he knows the other cats will leave him alone there. But I did find a couple of cat poops in Lena's room and the bathroom upstairs Tuesday morning, and knowing Kippers is litter-trained (we watched him go Monday night), I realized it was because the two cats wouldn't let him past the hallway so he could go downstairs to the litter box. But if Ryder carries him downstairs or he follows me down when I do laundry, then he goes right to the litter box. We're working on getting the two cats adjusted to life with our new buddy, making sure they get just as much, if not more, love and cuddles as before. They've both chilled out slightly and only growl at Kippers if he tries to nuzzle or rub against them, otherwise they tend to leave him alone (which I definitely appreciate as there's been no more random poops around the house). Kippers continues to eat like a little pig, and waddles around with his big fat tummy swaying. Its very sweet and reassuring to see. 


I think the nicest thing about having Kippers around now is that finally Ryder has a pet that he can smother with affection, hugs and kisses ("I will love him and hug him and pet him and name him George") and rather than bolt away like the other cats do whenever Ryder comes near, Kippers just soaks up all the love and attention and returns it to Ryder tenfold. They really are best little buddies. Its like Kippers knows that Ryder really did save its life. 


And every night when Ryder climbs into bed, there is Kippers curled up next to his pillow, waiting for him. 

RIP

Memories
The love we have for Grandpa
Will never fade away.
We’ll think of him, our special friend,
Throughout each passing day.
We’ll walk into the room
And see his empty chair;
Although we know he’s resting,
We’ll feel his presence there.
The memories of his laughter,
His warm and loving smile,
His eyes so full of happiness,
His heart that of a child.
Memories are forever
Be they laughter or of tears,
Memories we will treasure
Through all the forthcoming years.
Author Unknown

Made me laugh

I am a computer WHIZ

If you've seen any of my facebook statuses from the last week, you'll know what I was dealing with regarding Gunnar's computer.


If you haven't, here's the short story: his laptop was hijacked by viruses, worms, malware, spyware, etc. Basically, everything that can destroy your computer. The little brat didn't have antivirus and was cruising porn sites. What else did he expect? GAH! All of his programs and applications were missing, couldn't open anything, and I kept getting pop-ups telling me 'application not found', 'cannot open', etc. With the knowledge and help of a fb friend, I downloaded on disc and (in safe mode) installed three separate programs to help me deal with all these problems: SuperAntispyware, MalwareBytes Anti-Malware, and Avast antivirus protection. Took me almost a full day, but those 3 programs removed over 800 infected files. 


I was riding high on triumph and pride. Had gotten his computer pretty much restored, just had a few things left to figure out (like how to move his programs and applications back into the All Programs on the Start menu). 


Suddenly an Avast window popped up informing me a rootkit virus had been discovered and removed, and the laptop now required a reboot. Upon restarting however, I was horrified to see the Blue Screen of Death!! It advised restarting the computer; did that, the BSoD kept appearing. Got more advice from my fb friend but nothing worked, the computer was too damaged. Looks like I'll be taking it in to a real computer techie.


BUT... all this researching and downloading inspired me to try to 'fix' the other two computers. The desktop in the livingroom is very old, very cluttered with files, runs verrrry slow, and the internet connection is slow sometimes (even though its connected via cable, so should be lightning quick). My laptop is pretty fast with not that many files or programs, but it still needed a good antivirus program (had installed Avast on it as well but with that rootkit virus destroying Gunnar's laptop, I was suddenly unsure about its competency).


I went to PCworld (my new favorite site for anything computer-related) and found a program called Security Task Manager (I found a free 30-day trial version). This program "gives a wealth of detail about each program and process [running on your computer, many without your knowledge], including whether the program is likely malicious or not, and it lets you delete any program and process with a single click. You'll get an enormous amount of detail about what's running, including the manufacturer, type of program, how it started (for example upon startup or from within Windows Explorer), and the file name. It also rates files according to how harmless or malicious they may be. To stop a program, highlight it and click remove, and you're done."


So I used that program to remove several unused, unimportant, unnecessary-to-the-system programs and applications, as well as some broken file fragments. I like that it shows you, highlighted in red, which ones are the most suspicious; as well, other users rate how dangerous they consider that program/process which helps you to make your decisions about what stays and what goes. One thing I would DEFINITELY advise is to open up a new window and google the name of each program/process BEFORE deleting or quarantining it, as some have weird and misleading names that make you think they are 'bad'. For example, I almost removed my laptop's wireless capabilities because I didn't realize that's what it was (you'd think it would be labelled 'wireless' or something obvious, but no). Security Task Manager also creates system restore points before each deletion/removal, so if you suddenly think 'Crap, what have I done?', you can go back and do a restore.


Next thing I did was to remove all the antivirus, antispyware, and antimalware programs I'd installed and instead download & install Microsoft's Security Essentials, which is completely FREE but you have to have a genuine Windows program on your computer (XP, 7, etc). This program guarantees: real-time protection, system scanning, system cleaning, Windows Firewall integration, dynamic signature service, rootkit protection, protection against real threats (not good software), and network inspection system. And because its from Microsoft, I know I can trust it to do its job, and do it well. 


Okay, so with my computer now cleaned up and protected, the next thing to do was secure my wireless connection. I'd already secured it somewhat about a year ago using WEP, but in my online wanderings I learned that WPA or WPA2 is much more secure. Apparently, WEP can be cracked within a minute, huh. So this process involved getting out the linksys installation manual and following the steps, very very easy. 


Lastly, I wanted to figure out how to get rid of the annoying pop-up windows that never failed to appear upon start-up, along the lines of 'unable to locate component for this application because  this .dll file not found'. (Dynamic Link Library (dll) files are an essential part of the Windows operating system.) On the laptop I would always get two such notices, on the desktop there were three. I wrote down the specific dll files and applications, googled them, and just followed the instructions. The newest Apple update (for itunes) has an error in it that mistakenly places a certain dll file in the wrong place (the application is AppleSyncNotifier, if you're experiencing any pop-ups with that). Its as simple as locating the dll file stated (do a Search from your start menu), copying it, and pasting to the correct folder. Restart the computer and voila, no more annoying pop-ups!


So yeah, there ya go, am I not a computer whiz? What can I say...


 

There's hope for them yet...

Saw a group of teens walking up Main Street today, all with poppies proudly displayed on their coats. Very impressed, very proud of today's youth.

Fall pics