A brief synopsis (copied-and-pasted from various parts of the article):
"Girl’s aren’t supposed to get angry. Here’s why you should ignore that 'rule.'
According to researchers, this behavior is a major part of how girls (not all girls, obviously, but generally as a population) handle anger. It’s called “relational aggression,” a really textbooky term that just means “using friendships to bully people.” The tactics of “relational aggression” include telling people’s secrets, forming alliances to gang up on them, spreading rumors, sabotaging their projects, and giving them the silent treatment. This has just as many serious consequences as other kinds of bullying: it damages people’s confidence, makes them less likely to trust people or enjoy spending time with others, and can even lead to their doing poorly in school, developing anxiety and depression, or becoming suicidal. It’s underhanded, it’s dishonest, and it’s cruel. But it’s also what lots of girls do."
This article aims to teach girls and women how to 'fight' with each other. There are rules:
Rule #1: Being Angry Doesn’t Make You a Jerk
Rule #2: Arguing Is Not a Team Sport
Rule #2(a): If You Can Say It to Her Face, Don’t Say It on Facebook
Complication #1: You Both Did Bad Things, Oh No!
Complication #2: Some People Don’t Want to Make Things Better
The Stirring Conclusion: Fighting Like a Girl Can Change the World
"So, you had a fight. Yeesh, that was draining. But let’s list everything you didn’t do, while you were fighting: You didn’t lie. You didn’t betray a fellow girl. You didn’t try to expose any girls to verbal or physical harassment. You didn’t destroy another girl’s confidence. You didn’t make it less likely for that girl to succeed at work or in school, either intentionally or as a side effect of your actions. You didn’t hurt yourself, or treat yourself like you deserved to be hurt. You didn’t let your fear control you. I’ve got to stress this: You didn’t make any girls less confident, less successful, or more endangered by harassment. You, therefore, have taken yourself off the team that is constantly rooting for girls to do poorly in school, to do badly in life, to hate themselves, and to be scared all the time. You just scored a victory for feminism, my friend. Because you had a little honest conflict.
It is essential for girls to learn how to fight. Knowing how to say “this is messed up” without feeling guilty is a huge part of being strong. But girls also have to know how to fight without destroying one another. There are too many girl-destroying forces out there; we can’t afford to do their work for them.
'Fighting like a girl' can mean 'relational aggression.' It can mean being indirect, being untrustworthy, causing drama in order to make yourself feel better at another person’s expense. But 'fighting like a girl' can also mean just being honest, open, and willing to have a little healthy conflict once in a while. Girls tend to care about our friendships a lot. We do. But part of caring about our friendships is making sure that they are safe spaces in which we can tell the truth about how we feel. So here is the best part, about this second way of fighting like a girl: when you do it, you show that it’s possible. The world doesn’t end. When you’re honest, and stand up for yourself—even when that’s uncomfortable—you make it possible for every other girl to believe she can do the same."
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