Make it a double, please!

My household was just abuzz with activity this morning. So many things going on at once!

The boys meandered their way into the kitchen, twenty minutes after I got them up, in just their undies; I promptly sent them straight back downstairs to get dressed. "You guys know better, c'mon!"

They hemmed and hawed, couldn't decide what they wanted for breakfast; I slapped a box of cereal on the table.

I had to tell them three times to brush their teeth, they just kept dicking around downstairs.

Ardan wanted to wear a new pair of pants that hadn't been hemmed yet; out came the duct tape.

Gunnar hadn't emptied his lunchkit or backpack after school yesterday; I had to stand there, toe tapping, while he got everything sorted out. Only then was I able to pack his lunch.

Finished packing Ard's lunchkit, only to remember that today is hot lunch at the school and they get a KFC chicken burger.

In the midst of all this, Ryder woke up and started banging on his door, "WAKE. UP! WAKE. UP!" So Ardan went to let him out, and out runs Ryderman buck naked! Little bugger figured out how to take off his pajamas! But I was busy making lunches and 'supervising' my slow-ass boys, so I just let Ryder run around in the buff. No worries, right? I mean, after all, he was just playing with toy cars there in the livingroom. Only to see Ryder streak by and there was something on his leg. Peeked my head around the corner and saw a huge pile of steaming crap right there on the carpet. "Are you f*cking kidding me?? Why God, why??" So Ryder went to "jail" (trapped in the bathroom alone until I could clean him up) while I got out the baby wipes and cleaned the carpet. Thank heavens they were just rabbit turds, UGH. Put a diaper on the brat, with a stern warning NOT to take it off, and it was back to the morning madness.

Remembered that Tyler had said the boys were to wear long johns under their pants this morning because of the cold. The boys had to go back downstairs, grumbling all the while.

While they were down there, I yelled a reminder to find their winter boots, mitts and a hat. "But moooo-oo-ooommm, we don't know where our boots are!" I JUST told you that they're in the laundry room! And the mitts and hats are in bins in the cubby room! "But those boots don't fit us anymore!" How do you know, did you actually try them on? "No but they look too small." Well, friggin' try them on because I know for a fact your dad bought those new last year, and he purposely got them a bit big so they'd still fit THIS year! At this point, I realized how stupid it was to carry on a conversation with both parties having to yell at the top of their lungs because they are on different floors. "Okay, well, Ardan's boots fit but mine don't!" What?! Are you sure Gunnar? Okay well, I guess... try to find your hiking boots! What do you mean you don't know where they are? For the love of...!! So Gunnar went to school in runners, Ard in winter boots.

Ardan couldn't find a hat he liked (we only have like, a million winter hats) and decided on the green Grinch hat. Remember those hats? They were from when the boys were like five. So imagine that hat, stretched tightly over Ard's huge melon of a head. But he was adamant on wearing it to school. A great conversation piece, I guess.

Last minute panic as Gunnar couldn't find his school agenda. Frantic searching of the backpack and front entry; Lena found it under a coat. Crisis averted. Then the frantic search for a pen was on, so I could sign my initials.

Finally, finally, the boys were ready. Mitts, hat, lunchkits, agendas, long johns... going over the mental checklist as I do every morning. "Ooohhh poop! Sorry guys, I just noticed your coats aren't warm enough. You need a hoody on underneath." Groans, moans, grumbles as both boys trudged downstairs yet again.

I tell ya, mornings around here. Its enough to drive a woman to drink! Coffee, that is.