'Double Rainbow' goes viral

Five Question Friday

1. Do you collect anything?
Perfume, books, elephant knick-knacks, purple stuff, jewelry (rings, bracelets, necklaces, earrings), purses.

2. Name 3 celebrities that you find good looking.
ADAM LAMBERT!!!!!! Brad Pitt, The Rock (Dwayne Johnson). Here's a link to more hot male celebs I'd totally do.

3. Do you have any scars? If so, what's the story behind it (them?)?
I have a couple of scars around my eye area. One is just under the arch of my eyebrow, its from an Elko camp trip, riding in the back of the jeep trying to hold onto a dead fish I'd caught and when we hit a bump my eye smashed into the back of the seat. The other one is near the outer corner of my eye, the story behind that one is kinda funny (to me, anyway). It was the early days of me and Hubs' relationship; you know, those goofy times when you wrestle and play fight and all that. So we were chasing each other around the duplex (when we lived in Sylvan) and Ty scooped me up over his shoulder and went to run down the hallway. As he turned, my head clipped the very edge of the wall and we both fell down. I didn't even feel anything but Ty just started freaking out, I guess blood was pouring out of what looked like my eye socket. It turned out to be quite a deep cut; we had to walk to the store to get some butterfly bandages to keep the edges together. I also have a scar on my stomach from my tubal surgery, an inch-long one on my right shin from a piece of glass, and of course, the scars on my chest from the breast reduction surgery.

4. What is a food that you like to eat, but others might think it's gross or weird?
I love green olives and smoked oysters, are those weird? Gunnar thinks green olives are disgusting, Lena thinks that way about oysters. I also like broccoli stems, Brussels sprouts, swiss chard, collard greens (our new thing, we just discovered that Walmart has them), zucchini, whole radishes. I'm not the one in the household that eats gross things, that would totally be Gunnar and Tyler. They eat deer heart, liver, fried fish eggs, raw oysters, etc. Bleccch!!

5. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life?
No, I haven't. We were kind of in the area, though, when the Pine Lake tornado swept through 10 years ago. I'll never forget what the sky looked like. We were driving and I suddenly realized how weird the sky was. It was hazy-looking, with heavy black clouds above us, although the sky underneath the clouds was bright and almost orangey-yellowish. There was a quality of stillness in the air, like a heavy oppression, and it felt electrically charged, as if any moment a zap of lightning could strike beside you. I remember watching the sky change right before my eyes, as the dark clouds bled into the light ones below, and I just started freaking out, begging Tyler to drive us out of there, that we needed to leave and go home. We headed out to Barney's acreage instead and as we were driving there we heard on the radio about the tornado that had just touched down in Pine Lake. It was probably one of the freakiest moments in my life.

Spermspermsperm, Sperm is the word...

My 5 year old daughter has recently discovered what a sperm is. Well, no, that's wrong; she's known for a while, thanks to a discussion we had on how babies are made. But it was only recently that she discovered what a sperm looks like (and no, don't be disgusting, not THAT way), thanks to a Beavis & Butthead video the boys were watching. So now, in her mind, any amorphous blob with a tail is a sperm.

Hubs and Gunnar came home from a fishing trip last night with a bucket full of minnows and tadpoles. Of course, Lena and Ryder were beyond thrilled about it and spent hours with their hands in the bucket, tormenting those poor creatures.

Lena came rushing into the house and said to me, "Mom, you know when baby frogs are little sperms with a tail? Well, Gunnar caught some!" Hmmm, do you mean TADPOLES? Hahaha! I had to tell facebook about that one. Then, later on that night, the kids were watching Max & Ruby (a cartoon show), an episode called Max and the Beanstalk, and there were some magic beans on the ground that sprouted and grew into, what else, a beanstalk. As we watched the little beans grow tails and burrow into the ground, I was waiting for it... "Look, its sperms!" Yep, I knew it. Had to add that comment onto my status. In response to a comment from Koos, I said how I could just picture her, in public, pointing something out as "a sperm!"

And how right I was.

We were in Walmart today in the produce section and Lena held up a cantaloupe. She pointed out to me how the furrow-like markings on the skin kind of look like sperms (how she made that comparison, I know not). Well, by then I'd had it.

"Lena, enough with the sperms!"

Only to realize that the sweet little old lady standing by the apples had heard and was glaring daggers at me. So thanks Lena, thanks a lot. Now I am a pervert who yells about sperm to my darling innocent daughter.

Dr. Oz's Ultimate Diet Plan

I am in no way a huge Dr. Oz fan, so don't take this post to mean I have a secret crush or that I watch his show religiously. He's no Adam Lambert! And actually, a lot of things about Dr. Oz and his show irk me, such as the way he talks and his stupid demonstrations, etc. A life-size model of a nose just to demonstrate why your nose drips? Ewww, no thanks. So its kind of annoying that his shows are usually about topics that I actually find interesting and want the answers to (such as Top 5 Cancer Symptoms, Best Skin Secrets, etc), because that means I have to sit and watch!

So last night's episode was all about, you guessed it, his diet plan for America. I sat there through the entire episode just so I could write all the info down and share it with y'all. I suffered, all for you! You're welcome.

1) Its not about your weight, its about your waist size. A person's waist size should be, at most, half the size of their height. So a person who is 5'3 (me) should have a maximum waist size of 37". Phew! (A couple months ago I wouldn't have been able to say that.)

2) There are 5 foods that make you fat:

• Simple Sugars and Syrups (#1 & #2), such as soda and jam. Anything that says 'syrup' (such as high-fructose corn syrup, which is in A LOT of food items) is out. Replace jam with sliced fresh fruit on toast; replace soda with water.
• White Flour, replace with 100% whole grain.
• Saturated Fats (animal fats), any fat that is solid at room temp, found in many meats. Replace with chicken, salmon and fish.
• Trans-Fats, found in anything labeled 'partially hydrogenated vegetable oil'.

3) Get some new shoes and a pedometer, and get walking!

4) Lose 100 calories from your daily food intake.

5) Automate your meals. This just means its much easier to stick to a healthy diet plan if your daily menu is the same. Breakfast every morning could be a shake made with plain fat-free yogurt, blueberries and flaxseed oil; dinner is a healthy protein, whole grain and lots of vegetables.

6) Cheat your tastebuds. People who eat spices or spicy foods in the morning for breakfast are found to be much less likely to overeat at lunch and dinner. So add hot sauce or peppers to your eggs, have cinnamon and nutmeg on your whole wheat toast, etc. Dr Oz also had the audience do an exercise to demonstrate cheating your tastebuds without using food: lick your lips, then purse your lips and take a deep inhale. Feel the coolness on your lips? Repeat this a few times. Dr Oz says its a simple exercise you can use to reduce food cravings and curb your appetite.

7) Stay accountable and measure up. Take body measurements every week to see what is working and what needs improving.

8) Stress makes you gain weight. People with large bellies, beware! The real danger is when your tummy fat is hard as this means the fat is underneath the muscle, rather than a jiggly tummy where the fat is on the surface. When a person is stressed out, the brain sends chemicals throughout the body that result in the stomach fat hardening. What a person needs to do is break the stress cycle. There is an extract you can get from the Passion Flower that works similar to anti-anxiety medications. Just add a few drops to your water. Also, deep breathing exercises and calming visualizations work (find your happy place, haha).

9) There are 4 fat-burning, muscle-building exercises you can do. Its hard to explain them rather than watch them, so bear with me here (although a few of them have actual names so that helps).

• Stand up, on tiptoes, with your arms held straight out in front of you; cross your arms back and forth, up and down, for up to 2 minutes.
• The Invisible Chair: lean against wall, hands in a prayer position in front of you with fingers splayed, slowly walk your heels out until they are directly under your knees; hold this pose for up to 2 minutes.
• The Rickety Table: On your hands and knees, reach your left arm out straight in front of you as far as you can, stretch right leg out straight behind you. Then bring left elbow and right knee down and together, try to tap them together. Repeat with opposite arm and leg. Do this for up to 2 minutes.
• Laying on your back, knees bent, arms behind head, in the basic sit-up position. Keep ankles and knees together, and lift your legs up off the floor, then bring them down and tap on floor. Do this for, yes, you guessed it, up to 2 minutes.

Peeve of the Week: Call Waiting Answer-ers

Now, don't get me wrong. I've had call waiting before, and I know that many of you have it and use it. I myself only used it if I was talking to someone and a real important call came through, or someone I'd been waiting to hear back from. And even then, I would feel terrible for telling the person I was currently talking to that I had to take that call. But what really grinds my gears (Family Guy reference there, hah) is when someone 'call-waitings' me. And there is a particular person who does that to me ALL THE TIME.

Usually I don't give a rat because the phone calls tend to be very lengthy with this person. Well, it does irk me and I think to myself 'rude!' but I'm used to this person's ignorant people skills, so whatever.

But the other day, wow, I had just had it up to here with her. I called to wish her a happy birthday, the kids and I sang the birthday song, and we'd been chatting maybe a minute when I could tell she had another call on the line. Now, if that was ME, I would ignore it and keep talking to the person who had taken time out of her busy day to call with birthday greetings. But no, this person says to me, interrupting me in mid-sentence, "Oh, I gotta go." and just hangs up on me to take the call.

Wow. I just shook my head. Does this person have a total lack of manners and courtesy or what? I mean, yeah, it was her birthday so it was probably someone calling about that, but when it is EVER appropriate to just rapidly ditch one caller so you can soak up attention from another caller? I was pissed!

She has since called me back (I did not answer) and left a voicemail apologizing for not calling me back, blahblahblah. Notice it was not an apology for ditching my call, just for not calling back.

Whatever. I have just about had it with her. The Deserada poem echoes in my head when I deal with her lately, "Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit."

Five Question Friday

1. What is one food you could eat everyday?
Chocolate. Aero bars, Jersey Milk, Caramilk, M&Ms, Glosette Raisins, Wunderbars, Kit Kats...

2. Are you working in the career you thought you would be when you were 18?
Nope. I've talked about it before, I feel that where I'm at now is where I was meant to be.

3. What is something that you wish you would have done when you were younger and you didn't?
Questions like this kind of annoy me. Coulda, shoulda, woulda, you know? If I'd actually done the things back then that I wish now I would have (make sense?), then I wouldn't be where I'm at now. I'd probably be living in Europe somewhere, doing humanitarian work or ekeing out a living as a hipster artiste. Either way, I'd probably be wishing my life was different, that I was married and had a happy household of kids, with a couple of crazy cats, living near the water with my family closeby. In the end it all comes back to... how it is, is how its meant to be (see question 2).

4. What color are your kitchen walls?
Off-white. With greasy fingerprints, dents and dings, a few cobwebs here and there, just to liven things up a bit, add some color and personality. ;)

5. Do you remember what your very first favorite song was?
This is going to sound so weird, because I must've been 3 or 4 years old at the time, but I remember singing along to "I Just Called (To Say I Love You)" by Stevie Wonder and just being overjoyed when it would come on the radio.

10 Steps to a Healthier You

I'm totally stealing, er, I mean, paraphrasing all of these from an article in June's Hello! Canada magazine. The article states that the first step is to stop measuring your progress in pounds, instead focus on how loose your clothes are becoming; and that by sticking to these 10 tips for two weeks, you should lose both inches and weight.

1. Veg out and get fruity
Fresh fruit and veggies at every meal are hydrating and nourishing; they provide vitamin C and beta carotene, two antioxidants that fend off free radicals that cause aging. Avoid an overload of the sweeter fruits such as bananas, melon, mango and pineapple, instead mix them up with lighter ones such as apples, pears, berries or citrus fruits like oranges.

2. Begin with breakfast
To sustain you until lunch, try a bowl of fresh fruit with a couple tablespoons of yogurt, with or without a sprinkling of unsalted nuts such as walnuts or hazelnuts.

3. Eat protein and salads
Both lunch and dinner should be based around lean red meat, fish, chicken, eggs, seafood, lentils or beans. Make sure your meal is balanced by accompanying it with a big salad or a selection of non-root or non-legume veggies like spinach or tomatoes.

4. Get fat wise
You get the most nutrients from salads if they are lightly dressed in olive, hemp, canola or walnut oil, which are rich in essential fatty acids. Then add a squeeze of lemon juice, fresh herbs and freshly ground black pepper to taste.

5. Stop the starch
Try to avoid eating bread, rice, pasta, potatoes and couscous so that your body feels slimmer and less prone to fluid retention. As a general rule, instead of carbs, eat some protein or dairy food such as fresh mozzarella or crumbled feta cheese, accompanied by a big salad.

6. Say no to salt
Reduce your intake of salt and salty foods such as french fries, chips, convenience foods, smoked fish, cured meats such as bacon and anything pickled. Instead, eat fresh, seasonal, potassium-rich fruits and vegetables. Potassium works with sodium to balance the body's fluid levels properly. Tomatoes are particularly rich in potassium, while citrus fruits, melon, cucumber, watercress, carrots, salad leaves and celery also have mild natural diuretic effects.

7. Beat the bloat
Too many fizzy drinks and milky lattes or cappuccinos may make you feel bloated. Drink plain water instead, its the most hydrating, thirst-quenching fluid there is.

8. Stay off sweet stuff
Ditch the chocolates, cookies, cakes and sugar in your hot drinks and reach for fresh or dried fruits, which will satisfy sweet cravings and are full of body-friendly vitamins.

9. Wade into water.
Ensure that you drink a good 2.5 litres of fluid a day. Herbal teas such as nettle, dandelion, fennel and parsley will prevent fluid retention.

10. Try a supplement
Aloe vera juice is great for cleansing your digestive system; drink 30mL three times a day, half an hour before having anything to eat or drink. It is available from many health-food stores.

The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time (NSFW)

Those must be some great drugs he's on

"Ohmygod, what does it MEAN?"