Dedicated to YOU

How does one define the word 'strength'?

Is it purely a physical characteristic, as in how much weight you can lift? Do you define it as 'backbone', meaning having the strength and fortitude to stand up to injustice or to remain true to your morals, values and beliefs? Is it emotional strength, to be able to remain stoic with that stiff upper lip?

Of course, we all know strength encompasses all those. But I want you to think about this for a second: that there is also strength, true strength, in NOT being 'strong'.

Think about the quadriplegic in the wheelchair, unable to use their limbs for lifting and carrying. That person lives with the knowledge that in the eyes of many, they are not 'strong'. They cannot lift their crying child onto their lap, cannot wrap their child in loving arms, cannot even carry their child to safety in a dangerous situation. And yet, to live with that knowledge of all they cannot do, for themselves and their loved ones, is there not immense strength in that?

Think about the old man in the nursing home, who relies on nurses to feed and bathe and clothe him. Alone, forgotten, left with nothing but memories of happier times. To many, this is the epitome of 'weak', the lurking dread in our subconscious, that that will be us one day. And yet, to be in that position day in and day out, dependent upon the goodwill of strangers, reliant on their care, to trust like that... is there not immense strength in that?

And what about the grieving people out there, who have lost the love of their life. The ones who know they have had their one shot at true love, and that they must now carry on without it. To wake every day, arms outstretched to that empty spot beside them. To carry the crushing burden of grief and regret and loss. There's a saying that time heals all wounds, yet don't you think it is just the opposite? For really, time salts the wound; it reminds you constantly that the one you would instinctively turn to for comfort, with whom you would share that funny joke you heard, who is on the same wavelength where just one shared word carries a deeper, inner meaning to you both... that person is gone. And when the world deems that your time to grieve is over, that enough time has passed and you should now be getting 'better', and they can't understand WHY you still cry over the simplest of things, or WHY you can't just 'get over it' and move on, they obviously don't understand that grief and depression are complex and life-lasting. How do you explain the ongoing battle, every damn day, just to get out of bed and put on a happy face and appear 'normal'. And its not that you are doing this out of a general want to 'get better' and 'get over it', it is being done FOR THEM. So that they won't be worried and concerned and feel the need to intervene and do something. But wouldn't it be nice for those people to RECOGNIZE and ACKNOWLEDGE that daily inner battle with the demons of grief, loss and depression? For them to realize, truly realize, that in your failing battle to be 'strong', that THAT is where true inner strength lies? To be told, "You fight a daily battle that would cripple most people, and I am just so, so PROUD of you; that you have found the courage and fortitude to deal with this situation in the best way you can, and I am PROUD of that."

Because I truly believe that it is in our weakest, most frail moments, when we finally allow ourselves to appear weak in front of others, when we abandon the pretense of strength and cry and scream and question "Why!?", when we say "I need you, I just need someone to talk to" and the walls built up to hold in all those volatile emotions come crashing down...

In those moments, there is STRENGTH.

Real, true, deep inner strength.

And so I say to you, YOU, that I am immensely proud of you. I admire you. I respect you. And I understand, I get it. Whatever you choose to do, wherever life's paths take you, I am there, behind you 100%, because I know. You hold more strength of character and will in your little finger than the rest of us combined. And if they don't understand it, if they don't recognize or acknowledge it, if they are embarrassed by your seeming lack of 'strength', then that is THEIR show of weakness, not yours. That is their loss, that they choose to hold close their outdated beliefs rather than open their eyes and SEE the tremendous person you are.

Hold strong to that, remain true to yourself. And above all, BELIEVE. That you are loved, that you inspire respect and pride in those that truly matter, and that you ARE strong.

ILUF2M and M2F.