Me no Betsy: Pt. 2, Tangled Thread & Brain Dead

So with seams ripped and hems let out, I was ready to start sewing. Got out the machine, set out all my supplies, ripped open the package of bobbins and... sat there. Dumbfounded. Stupefied. How do I do this again? I know mom showed me how to thread a bobbin but I couldn't remember all the steps. Put the spool of thread on the spindle, looped the thread through the thingy, ran it through the hole on the bobbin, sat the bobbin on its tiny spindle, then hit the pedal. Nothing. The machine hummed like something was going on inside, but the bobbin just sat there, no movement, no spinning. Arrghh! I fiddled around with dials and controls for a while, then took everything off and went through the steps again, thinking maybe I missed something. Nope. Finally, in a tizzy of rage, I phoned my mom for help, got her voicemail (of course, lol) and left a message liberally peppered with the f-word and 'stupid bobbin'.

At a complete loss of what to do next, I stood up and decided to look down on the machine, like a birds eye view, to see if something was maybe stuck in the bobbin spindle. Oh, well, what do you know? There was a little space by the bobbin, why was that, maybe if I moved the spindle over... click! Wtf? Oh! Oh, yeah, now I remembered my mom saying the bobbin has to be locked into position. Oh well, geez, now I felt like an idiot. Called my mom's voicemail again and left another message, this one with lots of embarrassed laughter and "I'm an idiot"s. So there, I mastered the bobbin, filled that sucker with thread and was ready to get going on those pants.

Filled with triumph, I decided to get revenge on the black sweatpants and do them first. I whipped through that first seam, the stitches were nice and even and tight, and I was elated! Yes, I could handle this, easy as pie! Flipped the hem over to inspect the other side and... WTF?!? The ENTIRE seam was a messy, knotted tangle of thread!! Frick! Got out the damn seamripper, tore it all out, and sewed it again. (Thinking I must have pedalled too fast or something that first time, maybe if I went nice and slow both seams would be okay.) Nope. Tangled knots again. Hmmm, obviously the bobbin thread was loose or something. Fiddled with the little dial numbered 0-12 (it was set at 6), sewing short lengths at varying settings, checking each time to see if it made a difference in the tightness. No. Of course not. Why would I think it would be that easy? Then I thought that maybe it was because the pants material was soft and thin. Maybe if I did a pair of jeans it would be better!

Hopeful, but not wanting to expect too much, I did a hem on Gunnar's jeans. Turned the pants over and... well, not perfection, but the stitches were a bit tighter, and in my mind that was just fine. Still, the perfectionist in me couldn't abide the thought of Gunnar's friends, or worse -- his teachers! -- seeing the slightly sloppy stitches, I ripped them all out and decided to flip the material over when I sewed it. So the perfectly even, tight stitches would be on the outside and the slightly sloppy ones would be on the inside. There, fine, great! One pair down, a billion more to go.

On to the khakis. Slightly thinner material than denim, but still much thicker than the sweatpants, so everything should be fine, right? *SIGH* :( Why, God, why?! (Oops, I mean Jehovah, haha). This time I didn't have just a tangled mess of thread on my hands, oh no. This time, the bobbin-threaded side wasn't even attached to the material! Oh, it looked like it was, but as soon as I picked at the thread, it all unraveled. Grrrr! Utterly enraged, frustrated, I threw the pants across the room and decided to try again later. Um, yeah. Can you guess what happened an hour later when I tried again?

What the hell is wrong with me, I thought. Why isn't this working? I decided to inspect the machine, maybe try re-threading it, maybe I'd missed a step. And wouldn't you know, just like with the frickin' bobbin, sure enough I HAD missed a step. When I'd looped the thread through the dial, I hadn't pulled it all the way through so it 'caught' on the little wire hoop. Ah HAH! Eureka! Did my little dance of joy (kids looked at me like I was crazy) and filled with glee, hope, and a tiny bit of trepidation (Oh God, what if it didn't work? What would I do?), I sewed the hem once again. Turned it over, and... YES! Oh sweet mother, it worked! Damn right, I AM Betsy Ross! Take THAT, pants! You lose! Your days of embarrassing my sons are over!

So with the khakis now done, I went back to the ole sweatpants. And.... yeah. I take it all back. I am NOT Betsy Ross, I am a dumb stupid idiot who should not be allowed anywhere near a sewing machine. Something about me causes bobbin thread to constantly tangle and knot up. So, I've given up for the moment. My sewing machine and the unfinished pile of pants sit there, taunting me, calling me names every time I walk by while I glare threats back. Some day in the near future, when the boys are tired of wearing jeans and khakis every day and long for the return of soft, comfy, warm sweats, I will try again. Some day.