He is SO lucky he's cute....
Lena and Ryder were fighting over a ball when suddenly she let out a wailing scream that just pitched higher and higher. I ran over because I knew the little bugger had bitten her.
"That's IT! I have had it with the biting, Ryder!" and to prove my point, I pulled down his pants and diaper to smack his bare ass a good one. Only...
My hand, specifically my middle finger, rammed right into an assful of POOP. Gloppy, slimy poop. No hard rabbit turds here, folks. I know, GAG!
I froze, just completely froze, even stopped breathing. My eyes darted to Lena's and we stared at each other in goggle-eyed horror. Ryder just stood, cringing, no doubt still waiting for the ass-smacking.
Finally I snapped back into motion with a scream, "Aaaaaaaiiiiii!!!", marched Ryder to the bathroom and began the cleanup process, starting with an intensive scrubbing, disinfecting, nail-cleaning frenzy.
Just to teach Ryder a lesson, really traumatize the bugger, I said to him, "NO MORE BITING! Next time you bite someone I'm going to put POOP in your mouth!" and I quickly slid my finger (a completely different finger, and totally clean) in his mouth. He thought it was the other finger and that it was still poopy, and the look on his face! He shoved my hand away so fast and was spitting and gagging, scraping his tongue on a towel, yelling at me "I hate you! I hate you!".
Mean mommy? Ya probably. But if it makes him think twice next time he's in a chomping mood, then I guess it worked.
1 comment:
You're definitely right, biting MUST stop at a young age. You also were a biter (your brothers were not) and I ended that when, in frustration, I bit you back. I wish I could have had the opportunity to do the poop thing, though. That would have been a real cool trick but I don't know if I could have done that to a girlchild. Actually, it might have been traumatizing to you so I guess biting you (real hard, leaving teeth marks) was better.
Listen to us mothers, casually talking about what others might consider child abuse LOL
You are definitely a child of my loins. Ambergurl, it's hard to imagine you doing any of these things. You're too gentle but maybe we'll rub off on you (another LOL, this time wickedly) ..
Love my daughters!
Hag.
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