Sunday, May 31, 2009

I'm a slave to vanity

I've never considered myself an overly-vain person. I mean, yes, I have learned over the years that the one day I don't put on makeup or do my hair when I go out in public, will be the one time I happen to run into someone from high school. And of course, they look fabulous and I look the opposite. So yes, I'm a little vain that way.

But the times when I make a run to the store wearing paint-splattered clothes, or we're coming back from camping and have to stop for gas or whatever, and I reek like campfire, haven't had a shower in days, my hair is pulled back in a greasy ponytail, wearing filthy clothes... at least in those instances, there's a valid excuse to why I look the way I do. And so I don't really give a hoot what other people think.

But then, there's the times when something has happened and I will not, I flat-out refuse to leave the house because of how I look. Like in the case of a major break-out, or a puffy eye, or whatnot. (And the puffy eye thing, tell me this has happened to you. You notice that one eye is slightly red and the eyelid is a little puffy. But instead of leaving it alone, which you should always do!, you start rubbing it and fooling around trying to figure out why its like that. And you just make it a thousand times worse and end up with a red swollen eyelid, eyes bloodshot, and you look like a total beast!)

So I noticed yesterday that there was a spot on my jaw, back towards my ear, that was really tender. We'd been out quadding with the kids and I just figured that Ryder's helmet must've bashed my jaw in that spot when he was in front of me on the quad. Thought nothing of it. Until this morning. I woke up and realized that the tender spot was now very, very sore, and when I felt around my jaw I could feel that that area, and my cheek, was all swollen. What the hell? Then I realized that the wisdom tooth on that side was also in complete agony. I have funny wisdom teeth, they're what dentists call "floaters" because they can't decide if they want to come down or stay up. So about once a year, they'll decide to make their presence known to me and try to push through the gum and cause me extreme pain for a couple of days, then they'll float back up and leave me alone. The dentist keeps insisting I get them pulled, but as long as they continue to float back up after each episode, I don't see the necessity for surgery.

So this is one of those times that the wisdom tooth has come to say hello to me. Except that I've never had this kind of reaction before. My jaw is so sore, and the inside of my cheek is so swollen and puffy, which has resulted in the outside of my cheek being puffy as well. I look like a chipmunk on that side! And the location of the swelling is such that it looks like I have a friggin' JOWL! A jowl, people.

When I mentioned it to Hubs, he was convinced it was nothing but a popcorn kernel stuck in the gum (we had popcorn last night, obvs). "No, its not! Its the wisdom tooth!" Are you sure? You better check just in case. "I already did check for that! Its the tooth!" Well, I TOLD you that you should have gotten the surgery! Arrrghh! MEN! Can't you just say 'You're right honey, its the tooth, but don't worry, it'll go away soon. You can't even notice the swelling and you still look beautiful'? *sigh*

So yeah, I'm now a slave to my own vanity, imprisoned in the house today (and/or until the swelling goes down!) because I refuse to be seen in public with a swollen, misshapen chipmunk face. There goes the plan to pick up some potting soil and flowers from Walmart so I can work on my backyard today. I'll probably just head to Mom's with the kids, hang out there for a while. Because its okay if family laughs at you, just not strangers that you'll never see again.

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