What would possess someone to buy a white car? Do they look around at all the cars on the sales lot and turn up their noses at the blue, red, black, green, or gray cars? Is it an unconscious, or conscious, desire to scare the crap out of fellow drivers when they see that white car in the distance? Do they watch us hit the brakes to slow down and laugh hilariously that they tricked us into thinking its a cop car? Do you think they see the deadly glares that are aimed at them after we realize its just a normal person driving a normal car?
Take this morning, for instance. I was coming back from Winks and I could see a white car up ahead, parked on the side of the road. As I was leaving the house earlier, a white Peace Officer car had turned down the street in front of me. So it was realistic to think it was the same cop car parked, waiting for speeders. I was speeding to get home so I hit the brakes, gently of course, so it wasn't so obvious. I pasted my best "friendly and innocent" look on my face as I neared the white car. Then I saw that it was just some lady, parked on the side of the road while she rummaged through her purse. What a dummy! I wonder how many drivers going by her had the same reaction I did; how many people felt that spike of fear and thought, "Ah crap, its a cop!" and slowed to a crawl as they passed her.
Sorry Levi and Trapper, I'm not insulted you or your profession, but you know, you know, that's how people think. Especially us Simcoes, remember how we were raised? Dad jokingly talking about teaching the dogs to "sic" anything wearing yellow-striped pants? I don't think I ever heard a cop referred to as such, instead they were called 'pigs', right? "Oink, oink, I smell bacon!" never got old around our house. (Which was why it was shocking and kinda karmic that both my brothers decided to enter that profession, haha.)
So next time I pass someone in a white car, once I've made sure its not a LEO (Law Enforcement Officer, as my mom and I had to train ourselves to call them once the boys made that career choice), I'm going to give them the most potent, eyes-narrowed, mouth pursed, look of disgust I can muster. Buying a white car, driving it around all naive-like... LAME!!
2 comments:
Hey Beau.
I drive a white car, and let me tell you, I am definitely not niave about it. I enjoy the fact that everyone cowers in fear when I drive by and look like a cop. I actually do an evil laugh when I speed by and never get caught. Because even COPS think I'm a cop. So is it lame? Well, we'll see the next time you get a ticket and I speed by with a big smile on my face.
Enjoy that purple SUV sucka!
LMAO!!!
I COMPLETELY forgot that you drive a white car! Oh, but you know I don't mean YOU when I say people are lame. Haha. And actually, I wish that I could inspire fear and anxiety in people, just by driving past them. Instead, I have to do it the old-fashioned way -- by having a complete meltdown that makes Hubs and the kids run for cover. Bwahahaha!
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