Hubs and I took the kids to the beach a few evenings ago. It had been such a hot day and we thought it'd be nice to have supper on the beach and let the kids play in the sand (what little sand there is!). We had a thoroughly wonderful time. Gunnar and Ardan took turns taking out the kayak, Lena made a sweet sandcastle, and Ryder... You guys, that kid is nuts about the water! He didn't care about how cold it was, he was constantly running in and out of the water, splashing whoever was nearest him. And he loves sand! He kept bringing me handfuls of sand. Uh, thank you? Haha.
I'd packed a little supper of baked chicken thighs, watermelon, chips, and chocolate cookies. Everyone gorged themselves, then went right back to the sand and water (Ard even decided to be super-brave and dive in). Ryder had gone a little nuts on the cookies and his face from the nose down was covered in brown cookie gunk.
I was laying on a towel, suntanning and reading a book while Hubs sat in his lawnchair beside me, watching the kids. So relaxing. Ryder came up to me and must have been in a lovey-dovey mood because he draped himself over my thighs (I was laying on my stomach) and planted a huge wet kiss right on my ass! Then he rubbed his face right into my buttcrack! I was a little embarrassed, I mean people were constantly walking by us. So I wiggled him off of me. We were all laughing hilariously, until it hit me --- the cookie gunk! (Because, yeah, I'm a horrible mom and I hadn't washed it off his face.) I turned to Ty with dread and asked how bad the damage was on my butt, could you see anything? Dead silence. Then, "Uh, yeah. And its bad." How bad? "Uh, well, it kinda looks like you had a major accident in your pants." What?! Oh no! I immediately rolled over so the people walking by wouldn't see.
Meanwhile, Ardan had come in from his swim and decided to change into his dry clothes. Right there, on the beach. Just stripped right down to utter nakedness. Ty gave him a towel to drape over his lower half, and what did the kid do? He just bunched it up between his clenched thighs so it covered his crotch. His back was turned to the street so unbeknownst to him, he was totally mooning all the passing cars! Gunnar and I realized this, and in started the giggle-fit. Literally laughing so hard that we were chortling and gurgling and choking on our spit. Ardan was in the process of trying to pull his drenched skin-tight shirt over his head, so his arms were trapped, and there was nothing he could do about it, other than turn around so his bare ass was now in our faces. Except then the worst happened... his towel started slipping! In mere moments it was down around his ankles and his entire crotch was now hanging out (well, not really, shrinkage you know) for all the cars driving by to see! At this point, Gunn and I were laughing so hard we couldn't even speak. I tried getting Ty's attention, I really did, so he could help Ard with the towel but he was off collecting the beach toys. Eventually Ardan got the shirt off and had that towel yanked back up so quickly. I could barely even breath, I was still laughing so hard.
After that, we realized we'd been down there for over two hours and it was time to go home. Except... no way was I getting off my towel and showing my cookie-covered ass to everyone walking and driving by. So I made Ty and the kids load everything up while I sat there. I'm sure I looked like a total lazy ass. I even made Ty get Lena and Ryder in their carseats. I mean, obviously I'm not going to do it, and have my ass hanging out for all the world to see. I purposely waited till there was no traffic and no pedestrians walking around, before I ran to the vehicle and jumped in.
How embar-ASS-ing!!
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