Its been about three weeks now since I've been a blonde and yes, I have had a few 'blonde moments'. I'm sure everyone has had those and you just want to die of embarrassment, but at least if you are a blonde you have something to blame.
The first 'moment' was actually a few days after the dye job, when my hair was a super-bright blonde. I went in the liquor store to get some rum and coolers (the liquor store by the new Winks in Lakeway, so take note of this story in case you ever go there). Got my stuff, paid for it and headed to the door to leave, the same door I'd come in from. The cashier guy says to me, "That door has no handle." I smiled and nodded at him, thinking, "Okay, then I'll just push it open, duh!" Got to the door, tried to push it open, it didn't open! I looked back at the guy and only then noticed that there was another door, an exit door. Ohhhhh. I turned around and made my way to that door, utterly embarrassed, smiling almost apologetically (I was sorry, sorry I made an ass of myself in front of that hot guy, doh!), pointed to my hair and said, "Its the blonde coming out!" He just laughed and said, "Everyone does that." But why wouldn't he have just said to me, "Oh, the exit door is over here." He must get off on watching everyone embarrass themselves, then he can tell his buddies later, "Got another one today, you should have seen that dummie try to open the door! Bwahaha!" MEN!
The next blonde moment could actually be attributed to the large quantity of caesars I'd had, but I'm sure my blondeness seemed obvious at that moment. It was at Hubs' work break-up party just the other night. Most of the guys were playing poker, so those of us feeling left out decided to play Cranium. (And who knew that I'd be friggin' wicked at Cranium? Guess being the Queen of Useless Knowledge, She Who Knows Everything About Nothing, does serve a purpose sometimes.) My team was totally kicking ass, we made it almost around the entire board before the other team even got their first turn. Those of you familiar with the game know that the one team reads the cards for the other team. So it was my turn to read a card for the other team. First of all, I absolutely hate having everyone watch me while I read something aloud, I always feel like an idiot, I don't know why. Secondly, I'd had quite a few caesars by then and my lips were kind of numb and I was kind of stuttery and feeling mentally sluggish. At least everyone else there was well-past the tipsy point as well. So I stumbled my way through reading the card, everyone's eyes on me, then I realized that I had seen the answer. "Oh, I saw the answer! Is that okay?" "That's okay," they assured me, "it doesn't matter for this one." "Oh, okay then. Uh, where was I? Oh yeah, Frosty the Snowman!" Everyone burst out laughing, I'm all confused about why. "Ohhhhh, I just said the answer, didn't I?" Trust me, they didn't let me live that down. "Let's have Beau read all our next cards, we'll win for sure!" I tried to tell them it was the blonde coming out but they knew better. "Sure sure, Beau, here, have another caesar!" How embarrassing.
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