Five Question Friday

1. Where did you meet your spouse and did you instantly know it was love?
The Story of Beau-and-Beau
Well, it was way back in 1997; I was 17 and almost done grade 12 high school. Before I'd ever even met him, I'd heard about this guy who had the same name as me, even spelt the same, but he was a real hard-partier and I was told I probably wouldn't like him. One day my friends and I were out at "the pit" (where the smokers hung out during breaks) and someone pointed to a guy with long brown hair, standing over by someone's truck talking to a group of guys. "That's him, that's Beau." Couldn't really see his face or anything but he seemed normal, nothing like what I pictured a 'hard-partier' to look like. Oh, okay, and I dismissed him from my mind. I kept hearing stories about this guy Beau, how he lived in a tiny house down behind A&W and always held parties at his house, like every night. I was invited to a party one weekend, held at my friend Jill's house. Her family was loaded and they lived in what I considered to be a mansion. Her parents were gone for the weekend and so she did what teenagers always do in movies, have a huge party when the parents are gone, haha. And just like in the movies, the house got completely trashed and poor Jill was freaking out, so I helped her shut the party down, kicked everyone out, we cleaned up a bit, and then decided to follow everyone to this guy Beau's house, as he'd said everyone could go there to continue the party. My first impression of his house was, GROSS. Very tiny, very dirty, and just packed with people. Someone puked on the floor. I stayed outside because the house was making me claustrophobic; the police came and sent everyone home. And I never did meet this Beau guy. A few weekends later, I was at another party in the country with my friend Christine; when it ended we got into her car to leave and suddenly there was this guy, banging on the window and asking for a ride back to Sylvan. It was Beau. So, because I kind of knew about him, I told Christine it would be okay and we let him get in. He was totally wasted and sloppy, sat beside me in the back wayyy too close, kept trying to take my seatbelt off, talked too loud and too much, at one point I think he tried to kiss me and I smacked him across the face. He was completely annoying and I couldn't wait to get back to Sylvan and dump this jerk at his house. I was not impressed. Flash forward a month later, about mid-June, I was looking to move out of my parent's house and asked my friends if they knew of anyone who needed a roommate. One friend mentioned this Beau guy again, saying he'd moved into a six-plex but that his roommate had just moved out and he needed another. I was leery, especially after that experience in the car. But the situation at home was getting really bad and I was desperate. I was working at A&W one afternoon and saw this guy outside walking by, long brown hair, deeply tanned, shirtless, with a huge Cerberus tattoo on his back. It was him, Beau! I rushed outside, ran up and grabbed his arm, introduced myself and explained how I was needing a place to live, would he consider me for a roommate. He seemed a little stunned but agreed that I could come over the next day after school to check the place out. He wasn't at all like he'd been that night, the complete opposite in fact, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and chalked his behaviour that night up to having one too many. So I agreed to go check out his place the next day. The first thing I saw when I walked in his apartment was him on hands and knees, vacuuming the baseboards in the livingroom. The place was spotless, so that was a nice surprise. We had an awkward little visit, me in my miniskirt perched hesitantly on his ratty old couch while he tried to put me at ease. He was a total sweetheart, very quiet and soft-spoken, very polite. He seemed a little in awe of me, which was a nice ego-stroke. And the rent was low, something I could easily cover with my paycheque and still have lots of money left over. So that was it, I moved in within the week. For that first month, July, we led our separate lives. I worked my morning shifts at A&W and partied every night with my friends; he was usually asleep when I left for work and gone by the time I returned. We rarely saw each other, which was absolutely fine by me. Then, in August, he started hanging out at the apartment more often. Suddenly every time I turned around, he was there. Always polite, always soft-spoken and kind, and he was funny. I realized it was kind of fun to have a roommate, someone to talk to about the rough day at work, watching tv together, etc. We started going to parties together, and it made me feel safe to know that I had this big guy watching my back. I saw that he kind of had a split personality; when sober he was introverted, when drunk just the opposite. I'll never forget the one night we had a big party at our apartment (which ended when a neighbor complained about the noise and we got shut down), so everyone decided to head down to the beach. Picture a huge group of drunken teenagers stumbling down the street, laughing and goofing around. Eventually we made our way to the pier and someone suggested we all jump off together as a group. Beau heard that and just started running for the edge of the pier, while us less-coordinated ones followed. Suddenly a pair of headlights turned on-- there was cop parked right there on the pier, behind some trees, probably waiting for just such an opportunity. But it was too late for Beau, he was already mid-jump. By the time he surfaced we were all standing there at the edge, looking down at him, laughing hysterically, while the cop stood with us, shining his flashlight down onto Beau's wet face and said, "Hello Beau, having a good night?" He sheepishly climbed out of the water and we were all sent home. So funny. But anyway, the more time I spent with him, seeing these dual aspects of his personality, the more I was intrigued. One night after a few drinks, he turned very morose and after some prompting, started talking about his childhood. You all know some of those details so I won't get into it, but he was just devastated, sobbing and so sad my heart was breaking for him. Now, during all this time spent together, I was still carrying on my partying ways, sneaking into the bar with my friends (who were all 18, I was the only underage one but the bouncer was a guy I went to school with who had a crush on me), hooking up with guys left and right. I had feelings for Beau but I didn't want to, so I used those other guys as distractions. And one day, after just such a night, Beau snapped. I guess he'd come home and seen another guy's shoes on the floor, heard enough to know what was going on, and spent the night seething and angry. When I woke up, he really let me have it. "So this is your life now, I guess, huh? This is who you want to be, what you want to be known for? The easy party-girl, the 'sure thing'. I thought you'd be different. I respected you. So smart, so beautiful, you could be anything, DO anything. I'm so disappointed in you right now, I can't... can't even..." and then he just turned around and left the apartment. It was like a bucket of ice water to the face, like a verbal slap. At first I was righteously angry. How dare he judge me, how DARE he presume to know my reasons for doing what I did. And as the day wore on and he didn't return so I could blast him back, then night, what he'd said really started to sink in. What the hell was I doing? Why? Did I really need the boost to my ego and self-esteem, knowing I could get any guy I wanted? What would my life be like if I continued down this path? And so it was a very different me that greeted him when he finally came home the next day. Gone was the cocky, arrogant girl who flirted to get her way, gone was this sexy-party-girl persona I'd created to hide my insecurities. I became the soft-spoken one. I dropped the act and started to be 'real' around him, comfortable for the first time that here was a person who actually preferred the true me. I didn't feel the need to hide behind sexy clothes. I could leave my room without having to apply a full face of makeup. I remember the first time I walked into the livingroom after waking up, in old ratty jammies, face freshly scrubbed, hair all crazy, and his face just transformed, lit up, huge grin. He was the first to ever see me like that, and he knew it. And so from then on, we became inseparable. He was more than just a roommate, more than a friend. He was so special to me. But I was still scared to let it be more than that; I didn't want to seem like that easy-girl again, and I didn't want a physical relationship to ruin it. Lets just say I really made him work for it, haha. Even once we did cross that line, I was leery about letting other people know that we were now 'together'. I didn't want it to seem like a cliche or like, Oh, she can't find a guy so she hooked up with the roomie. When we were around friends I was careful to not act like a girlfriend. I knew it hurt him, like he felt maybe I was ashamed of him or 'us', but he understood my feelings and so let me get away with it. One night though, walking home from a friend's house, a carload of people we knew drove by and saw us holding hands. "Oh-ho, its finally happened!" they yelled out the window. "You finally got your girl, eh Beau? Took ya long enough! Good for you, man, that's awesome!" and they drove away. I was stunned. What? 'Got his girl'? Just how long had he liked me that way? And no one teased us or made any rude comments, like I'd expected. When we got home, I questioned him and it all spilled out. How he'd seen me at the high school that one time at The Pit and been unable to take his eyes off me, but was told by his buddies that he didn't stand a chance, "she only goes for football players and jocks". How he'd invited everyone to his house that one time just so that I would come, even though we never did see each other that night. How he'd seen his chance to actually talk to me that night he asked for a ride home in Christine's car, how embarrassed he was that he acted that way but being so drunk and feeling so overwhelmed, he went a little crazy, trying to kiss me and take my seatbelt off so I'd sit in his lap (like THAT would have happened, crazy man). How he'd realized he'd blown whatever chance he'd had by his behaviour and had just resigned himself to seeing me occasionally and at a distance. And how that day when I'd ran up to him outside A&W and asked if he needed a roommate, how he felt that he'd been given a gift of a second chance. So he'd been on his best behaviour around me, wanting me to be comfortable and at-ease around him. How it killed him to see me become the party-girl, to see a different pair of shoes by the door every morning, how firmly I'd placed him in the 'just friends' category. How he'd almost decided to move out after that big blow-out because he just couldn't take it anymore. But that he was never more happier to have not made that decision when he returned home and saw that it was different now, I was different. How that morning when I allowed him to see the real me, no makeup, crazy hair, that he knew he just might have finally caught me. And so after I heard all this, and there was much more, I was overwhelmed (as to be expected) but here was this guy, laying his heart right out there, so afraid of rejection but taking that risk anyway, that he loved me unconditionally, the real me... I just couldn't help it. He had my heart from that moment. And the rest is history!

This is our song, and every time I hear it I'm taken back to that summer...



'Head Over Feet' by Alanis Morrissette
I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

Chorus: You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service

Chorus

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

Chorus

2. What is your favorite room in your house?
The livingroom.


3. Can you wiggle your ears?
Well I can't make the actual ears wiggle but I can tighten and relax the muscles around my eyes/cheeks/forehead and it looks like my ears are wiggling. Can you do that?

4. What is your evening ritual?
Put the kids to bed, watch some tv with Hubs, play on the computer if he falls asleep, then wake him up when I'm ready for bed, wash my face (usually), set my alarm, then fall into bed with him, say goodnight in our way, then fall asleep.

5. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
At least four.