There was a woman at Lena's gymnastics the other day that caught my attention. She was extremely fit, like 0.1% body fat (bitch! LOL, that's an inside joke), wearing workout tights and a sports bra. She was racing around after her little guy while trying to help her daughter do the gymnastics stuff and I could see she was getting really frustrated. She told one of the other moms that she'd just called her husband to come down and watch their son so she could concentrate on helping her daughter.
Time went by, I got busy watching Lena and trying to corral my own rambunctious toddler. Suddenly I noticed this guy sitting on the chair beside my own unoccupied one. He looked... familiar. Where the heck did I know this guy from? At the exact moment when it came to me, that woman came over and passed her son into his arms. OMG!! That was her husband! Her husband, who at one time many many years ago (before Tyler, don't worry) was someone I'd had, uh, biblical knowledge of! Shit!!
So there I was freaking out and he chooses that moment to look up, right into my eyes. ACK! I was praying that he wouldn't recognize me (IMO I look nothing like I did way back then), but he did a double take, eyes wide, then we both immediately looked away from each other. He jumped off his chair and went off with his son over to his wife. I hightailed it for the hallway and thank God, my mom arrived just then. So I was able to "keep busy" talking to her. And if my eyes slid in his direction once or twice, well, I was just looking for Lena.
It wouldn't even be so bad if he'd been just a one-night stand, but this guy was an obsession with me back then. All my friends were hot after him but I was the one who snagged him. He drove a white convertible Camaro. He was tanned, buff, rich and older. He had a tattoo on his arm. And to top it all off, his roommate and best friend was dating my best friend so we all always hung out together at their house. Good times, good times... heh.
It didn't last long. My friend and his split up and at that point, we both went our separate ways. Would've been just too awkward and felt disloyal to her to go over there. Plus, I realized over time he was kind of a dick and a player.
So now I'm dreading seeing him again at gymnastics, hopefully he'll feel the same and will stay at home. *knock on wood* Not very mature of me, I know. But how would YOU feel in that situation? Has this ever happened to any of you? How did you handle it?
P.S. THIS is my 100th post! I realized that after I published it and had to come back and add on this PS. I can't believe my 100th post was about this!
2 comments:
OFPS BeauSaxon. It’s time for an intervention, a reality check.
Never, ever, forget or regret your past. It’s your past that has brought you here, right now, to your present. It’s your past that has directed your destiny.
In a situation like this you might say “OMGosh, aren’t you … I didn’t recognize you right away because you have a child” (or “you’re in with a group of parents” or “you appear to be a parent”) and hopefully he’ll respond so that you can say “well, maybe your memory’s a little fuzzy because you must have forgotten that you used to be known as a player so obviously, you got snagged but hey, it looks good on you” The key here is don’t let him forget that you remember and that you have no regrets.
There’s also another saying .. You never know what goes on behind closed doors. You have no idea what his life is currently like so go ahead and imagine - he accidentally got this chick knocked up and now he’s stuck in a relationship with kids, his playboy image is gone and if that’s what he prized most as a teenager, then he’s hooped, he’s lost his self-confidence. Or perhaps he nags at his wife to “stay fit” so they look good together, so they appear to be the perfect couple, and she’s at the end of her rope, can’t handle the kids, needs to call him to help with the children - good heavens, your little scenario has created quite a bit a few scenarios in my own mind and I don’t even know the real circumstances.
Now take a look at your life. You have four children and the five of you all enjoy hanging out, each of you have built special bonds with each other, all of you depend on each other, help each other PLUS you have a husband who wants to be included, who offers to help, who suggests activities, who is very much involved - you are a great family unit of six and it shows. It’s obvious. So stand there and talk to him, eyeball to eyeball, straighten your shoulders and stick out your boobs and smile, brag about your kids, laugh at their antics and enjoy this situation because you know he’s going to go home and eventually he’s going to do some comparisons and eventually he’s going to realize he made a mistake somewhere along the way (by “mistake” I mean he might realize there’s more to life than being a player, maybe he should have stuck with that other gal who had her itshay together, etc.). AND, who knows. It’s quite possible that he needs you right now. Your attitude might have a positive affect on his life. He might need your body language “reassurance” to show him that what he’s going through is normal, to chill out and enjoy.
So this little sermon has reminded me of a similar situation, one that Deanna will remember and thoroughly enjoy to hear again LOL. While at the RD Lodge Deanna introduced me to her friend’s brother. I smile and shake his hand, nice to meet you thing, and he says “Don’t you remember me?” and Deanna’s egging me on “Yeah, don’t you remember him?” and I’m thinking “Oh crap, I have no idea who this guy is” then he says “Maybe you’ll remember me if I said you met me at so-and-so’s house” then the flickering lightbulb over my head shines bright and I say “Oh yes, of course, you’re Monty but hey, I didn’t recognize you because you’re wearing clothes.” Deanna knew I had “partied” with him and of course he hadn’t elaborated so my response totally floored both of them. Both were flabbergasted then all three of us just laughed and laughed. It was hilarious. Bottom line is that (1) I stuck to the facts and (2) I displayed I had no regrets.
Mom
Kelle- you have unbelievable wisdom. Before I read your response I was going to say "NO! That hasn't happened to me...but I would be absolutely mortified!!!!"
Now I feel differently. We need to be proud of the strong, beautiful women that we are today. And quit worrying about how we've changed- but rather be amazed at how great we've become!
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