Foot-in-Mouth Disease: Its Terminal

I discovered yesterday that I have a terminal case of Foot-in-Mouth Disease (FiMD). Well, its either that or the fact that my mouth sometimes gets ahead of my brain and by the time my brain realizes what has been said, that stupid ole mouth is going at it again, digging itself a deeper hole.

Case in point: yesterday I was at the Lacombe arena for Gunnar's game, standing with some other parents outside the boys' change room after the game. At practice a few days prior, one of the coaches had said if Gunnar needed a ride to the game in Leduc on Monday night he would gladly take him. I gratefully said, "Yes, thank you, I'd really appreciate that!" It was only after we got home that I realized I had no idea what that coach's name was or even who his kid was. I described him to Tyler and he said he was pretty sure his name was Chris, but he wasn't 100% positive. So at the Lacombe game, while I was standing with a few of the parents, I decided to quickly verify that that was indeed his name. You know, so that when I went up to him to hash out the details of when he'd pick Gunnar up, I could say his name with confidence.

So I said to those parents, "Hey guys, you know that one coach on the bench? Is his name Chris?" I didn't realize it but while I was saying that my one hand, completely unbeknownst to me, was making a circle above my head, with pointer-finger extended. I guess this was my way of non-verbally giving a description of what he looked like. One of the dads, who is well-known to have quite the mouth of his own, said loudly, "Oh, you mean the BALD one?" That's when I realized what my hand was doing, and I was horrified! I blushed from head-to-toe and whispered, "Oh my God, I can't believe I did that!" They all burst out laughing. "No, well, like..." I was stammering, "you know what I mean! Troy, don't call him bald! He's follicly-challenged!" That just made their laughter worse. I felt like a complete and utter TOOL.

But yes, his name is Chris. And my name is obviously Mud, because you know what that is spelled backwards.

P.S. I realized later that Chris's wife was standing a few feet away from me but she'd been so involved in a conversation with someone else that she didn't hear what all was said. Thank God!!