If bad things happen in 3s, I am DOOMED

You know, its bad enough when you get hurt, but when its caused by your own stupidity, its sooo much worse.

A couple days ago I was carrying a ginormous hamper of dirty laundry downstairs and on the second-last stair, I fell. Fell because I thought it was the last stair and so I just stepped into air, basically, thinking "this is going to end badly". But I didn't know just how badly. I somehow managed to land on my feet, only one of those feet stepped right into a tall metal tub. One of those kind that you buy around Christmastime that has popcorn in it, you know? My foot went in at an angle so the metal lip scraped its way down my calf before wedging deep in the muscle. I'm hopping around on one leg frantically, still holding that damned hamper, and crash into a tall stepping stool. Banged my hip right good, keeled over sideways (still holding that DAMN hamper, wtf is wrong with me?) and managed to throw out one arm to break my fall. Fell palm-down, right on my wrist. And I mean FELL. I think I felt the house shake.

My wrist immediately went numb so I didn't pay much attention to it. I was more concerned with my calf. You could actually see the skin layers peeled away. Ugh! Once the adrenaline rush went away I realized my wrist really frickin' hurt. Didn't seem broken but it was swollen and my whole right hand was basically useless, no strength whatsoever. Not to mention aching like a SOB.

So today, two days later, my wrist is pretty much back to normal and my leg is fine. I'm leaving the house with the kids, taking Pabs to the vet (paid $50 just to find out that the weird and horribly disgusting thing I saw in his eye was actually his third eyelid, did YOU know cats have third eyelids? An expensive lesson in cats anatomy), and as I put the hamper with Pabs in it on Gunnar's lap, I go to slam the door.

Can you guess what happened? Yeah, you got it. Slammed the door on the very tip of my right pointer finger. Holy shit! I howled like a frickin' banshee! I slammed the door right on the cuticle, gouged out a huge chunk of skin. Blood is dripping everywhere, I'm grunting and moaning and swearing and panting. And yet I knew I only had ten minutes to get to the vet's to make the appointment. So I manned up, got in the vehicle, fished out a bandaid from the glove compartment and we were on our way.

I have no idea how I managed to stay calm and sane during the vet visit. I just pushed the pain to the back corner of my mind. Having birthed 4 kids, I'm kinda an expert at that. Haha.

So yeah, its now almost two hours later, I'm spectacularly high on a painkiller (which is why I'm able to type this, I'm not feeling a thing, baby!), and I'm sitting here wondering what the 3rd thing will be in my triad of self-induced pain. Oh, and I just realized something! Both things that happened to me, were to my right hand. Weird.