Yesterday was Ardan's hockey wind-up party and as you can see by the title there, I obviously had a blast. The party was originally supposed to be held at the new arena, there's no ice so the kids were going to play floor hockey. Then one set of parents volunteered their warehouse/shop that they have over in the industrial area, so plans changed. It worked out much better because then we didn't have a set time limit of how long we could stay, plus, as some of the moms pointed out, then us parents can have a few drinks! And let me just say, I did not plan on drinking at all.
We showed up around 4:30 and the joint was hoppin', as the saying goes. It was a potluck, so I brought my pasta salad (the only thing that Hubs could eat, with his gluten/wheat allergy). Lena was "so shy" at first, hiding behind me for a good ten minutes, but eventually she chilled out and played with the other two little girls there. They were so cute! One girl's mom brought a case full of coloring books, markers, stickers, and.... glitter glue! Of course, us moms were so busy chatting and whatnot, that we just kind of let the kids do their thing. I looked over at one point and saw that Lena and Kylie were doing "makeup" on each other, using, what else, markers and glitter glue. Kylie's mom was all frantic, scrubbing her face desperately to try to get the glitter glue off. No such luck. So I was just like "meh" and let Lena run around looking like a glittery beauty queen clown. She was having fun so I didn't care.
There was one little incident between Kylie and Lena, and it was friggin' hilarious! At least to me. Kylie's mom wasn't too thrilled, but only because her daughter was the 'bad' one. I guess the girls were drinking water and Kylie up and spit a mouthful of water right in Lena's face. Lena's pretty 'go-with-the-flow', like me, and she just wiped it off. But you should have seen poor Carolynn (Kylie's mom). She was like, "KYLIE!!!" and marched her right outside, where we could all hear the heck she was giving her daughter. Poor little Kylie came back in shame-faced and apologetic, said she was sorry, and the girls were off and running. No big whoop. Carolynn came over to me, sooo sorry for Kylie's behaviour, and she was a little shocked at my response. "Well actually, I'm glad Kylie did that." What?! "Yeah, Lena's been going through a spitting phase, even got me in the face one day, which earned her a smack upside the head. So now she knows what it feels like to get spit on, right in the face. I think this will teach her a lesson." Oh. Oh-kayyy. So you're not upset? "No, not at all! Consider it a learning experience for Lena. No worries." Carolynn was so relieved. Haha. I took Lena aside later and asked how it felt to be spit on ("Not good") and that that is how we feel when she spits on us. She got it.
Lena and Kylie playing tag.
So I had brought some vodka lime coolers to the shindig, just in case, you know. Didn't want to be the only one with no booze, even if I just sipped on one cooler the entire time, at least I wouldn't look like a nerd. I took my time getting ready before the party, too. I painted my nails black (Rimmel polish with minerals and Lycra, in Black Satin, LOVE IT!!!), used my new TruBlends mineral powder, applied my new Loreal "beauty tubes" mascara (that give you the look of lash extensions, don't know about that, but they looked a little longer), and my new Covergirl Outlast lipstain in Wildberry Red. It looks like a huge red child's marker, with thick felt tip, so its like you're 'drawing' the lipstain on. It lasts, like, forever. Seriously, the day I first got it, I still had most of it on when I woke up the next morning. The color is amazing, a "true" red that makes your teeth look brilliantly white, and I knew the red was the exact shade I was looking for when Lena said to me, "Mom, your lips are bleeding!" Hah! I had my new Smitten Kitten shades on, and my skinny pants (the ones that make my legs look superlong and slim) and OF COURSE, my new black studded Ed Hardy purse.
I knew the look I was going for was an obvious hit when the mom's all exclaimed, "You look AWESOME! Like a rocker chick!" Yep, I told them I'd been "Glambertized". Only a couple of mom's got it. One mom was so jealous of my "diamond" encrusted skull-and-crossbones necklace, "Where would you even find something like that?" Hubs got it for me, isn't he great?
So by the mid-point of the party, I'd only had one cooler, had a nice buzz going on but by no means was I drunk. I'm careful about stuff like that when there's kids around. I never want my kids to be embarrassed and ashamed that I'm one of those "drunken moms" that use any excuse to tie one on, even if its a family event. Know what I mean? Well, the coach set up a little game for everyone to play together, basically like a shoot-out between the kids and parents. He would choose a parent to take the shot, and the parent would choose a kid to be the goalie. Then it would switch so the kids would take a shot at a parent in net. Everyone was having so much fun. Ardan was chosen as a goalie for another parent and they blind-folded him. No other kid-goalie had been blind-folded, probably because none of them are amazing goalies like Ard. So it was quite a thing, everyone giggling and "ooooo"-ing. And darn if little Ardan didn't block the shot, with the blind-fold on! It was awesome, I think every person in there gave him a hug or pat on the back or high five. He was loving all the attention.
So then the coach calls my name to take a shot. I wanted to pick Ardan or Gunnar to be my goalie, but they'd each already had a turn so I picked another kid, who was just thrilled to finally get called. I grabbed the stick, got in the hockey stance, and started toward the net.
Now, here's a little back-story for ya, just to explain how what happened next came about. I wore my black knee-high boots to the party, and had to walk through the gravel parking lot to get to the shop. My boots have a tendency to get small pebbles and rocks stuck in the heel, which I then have to pry out. Of course, walking to the shop, I picked up several pebbles in both heels. I was able to get all of them but one out, it was in there too deep. So I just stomped my foot a couple times, to push it in deeper so I wouldn't feel it every step I took. Except it refused to go in all the way and stuck out about 1/4" from the bottom of my heel. So there's the set-up: I had a rock stuck in my heel.
I made my way closer to the goalie, doing some fairly decent stick-handling, and I raised the stick to take my shot, lowered it and smacked the ball a good one. Next thing I know, I'm half on my knees, half on my ass, staring up at the faces of all the parents. Horrified, embarrassed, laughing my ass off, "What the...." My one foot had slid to the side and shot out from under me (that damn rock!) and sent me to the ground, right in front of the goalie. You could say I kind of did the splits. All the kids were laughing hysterically, of course; while the parents were trying to restrain their laughter and show concern for me, even though I knew, I knew!, it had to look funny as hell. As I got to my feet I said to one mom, "Thank GOD I wasn't wearing a skirt", which everyone heard and they all burst out laughing. "I'm so embarrassed! I can't believe I did that! And I can't even blame the coolers, because I only had one!" (At that point, I HAD had only one, it was afterwards that I chugged the second, mostly to drown the lingering embarrassment.) Gunnar later took me aside and told me, "Don't feel too bad, Mom, you were the only Mom who was able to raise the puck." I was? Really? "Yeah, and the goalie just barely saved it, you totally would've got a goal." Even though I fell on my butt and looked like a fool? "Mom, how many other people would've been able to raise the puck AND almost get in in, while they are in the middle of falling down? So you should be proud." And I was. Am. Not of myself. Proud of my wonderful 10 year old who took the time to comfort and reassure his mom, because he was sensitive to her embarrassment and wanted to make her feel better.
The rest of the party was spent chatting and getting to know the parents better, chasing after my littlest one (who was obsessed with "escaping" the shop to go outside and throw rocks at the vehicles, arrghhh!), and eating, of course. One mom had also brought a pasta salad, she was originally going to bring a greek salad, but do you know what she did? She made the greek salad, minus the lettuce, and just added pasta to it. And it was the frickin' BESTEST pasta salad I've EVER had in my LIFE! Cherry tomatoes, sweet pea pods, crumbled feta, chunks of cucumber and REAL cooked ham (my salad also had ham but it was canned, haha!). I ate two big helpings of her salad. But it was weird that whenever I looked at someone's plate, it was my salad they were eating. And I honestly couldn't tell you why, her salad was like a 10 while mine would maybe score a 6. She said that in the summer, they cut up some bbq'd chicken breast and add it to the salad, and that's their meal right there. So that's what I'm going to do from now on, too. The party ended around 8:30, we made plans to get together with some of the parents that we really like, it was just a great time. And I still had two coolers left.
Here's all the kids getting their awards, Ardan got "MVP" (Coach said he also should've got Top Scorer but each kid can only get one award and he thought Ardan deserved the MVP the most.)
When we got home, the kids were exhausted and by some silent agreement, they all went downstairs to the hide-a-bed, turned on the tv and fell asleep together, like little sardines all squished together on the bed. So cute. Ryder was so tired that he fell asleep even before we got home. Hubs took him to his crib, changed his diaper and put on a sleeper. All without Ryder even cracking an eyelid. He was so tuckered out from all the running and playing he did with his little buddy Cooper, who is a month older than him. They were "the little hockey guys", with their Gap hoodies on (that was kind of a weird coincidence) and ministicks, chasing each other and the puck around. Adorable.
With all the children in bed and sleeping, what else was there to do but keep the party going, right? I finished my coolers right away, then that sneaky Hubs of mine started bringing me Jack Daniels & DP. I think I had about two of those. Oh, and over half a pack of smokes. The night is kind of a blur after that, but I do remember us laughing hysterically at something on tv, Hubs convincing me that drunken-blogging is never a good thing (but think how hilarious that post would have been!), falling off my chair three or four times and Ty just shaking his head at me, and somehow managing to spill almost an entire bag of popcorn twists all over the floor. I still ate them of course, just scooped them up off the carpet. The 'three second rule' becomes the 'five minute rule' when you're drunk and hungry. Haha. This morning was a different story. Not feeling so hot today, oh no. I skinned my knee when I wiped out so that was hurting, not to mention the pounding headache, scratchy sore eyes and stiff muscles. Various other body parts were a bit tender and aching too, but that may be a bit TMI for you. Hah! Oh well, what can I say, drunken sex is HAWWWT. You don't quite remember all the details, but somehow you just know you had a really really good time. So now that I've put those images in your head, I'll take my leave and bid you a...HAPPY HANGOVER SUNDAY EVERYONE!
