Thursday, April 16, 2009

One (baby) step forward, two steps back...

I could have chosen to lie to you all and keep up the pretense that I'm doing awesome on my Mission: Butt Out. But I'm going to be honest with y'all and admit that I am a weak woman. I made it almost three days, then that darn sabotagin' hubby of mine bought me a pack. He's really big on the weaning thing, and is convinced that I can do it that way. After all, "That's how I did it," he said, "I'd have five one day, four the next, and in a week I had quit smoking." Hmm. I do recall that he was able to quit after the first try, with no relapses. I don't know if its because he's a man and is hard-wired differently, or he has stronger willpower, or what.

I definitely am smoking less than I used to. During the day I hardly smoke at all. Its just early in the morning and late at night that I have a problem. But even then, where I'd maybe smoke five, I'm only having three. So that's good. Right?

I hope this doesn't discourage you, Mom, from your own Mission: Butt Out. You're a strong woman and I know you can do anything you put your mind to. I'm still on the Mission, but I guess I've learned that, with me, there's always setbacks and mis-steps. I just have to keep the end goal in sight, and work towards it slowly and steadily. I think maybe I set my sights too high, just thinking I could beat this thing without suffering those setbacks. I've changed my way of thinking -- it doesn't have to be "all or nothing". Even the cutting-back I've been doing is a baby step in the right direction.

So I'm going to remain positive, and work towards my goal at a steady, realistic pace. I know I'll get there, its just going to be a longer journey than I expected.

Besides, did I really expect that I could stop smoking with all this damn Easter chocolate in the house? My scale was crying for mercy.

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