Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Live-Blogging the AI Results show

I had so much fun last night live-blogging the AI show, and I figure that I might as well do the results show, too. Can't leave you guys hanging, wondering who's out. Actually, Dea's probably the only one who cares. So I'll dedicate this post to my wonderful grandma. (Does that mean I have to tone down my rantings and ravings to something more PG? Awww, that's no fun! But I am who I am, so... rated R, TMI and OMG, here we come! hah)

9:52 - The show starts in less than 10 minutes and I just remembered that I have to rinse out my hair dye. Hope my hair will turn out. Its weird but my roots accept any color, its just the ends that are super-resistant. So when I dye my hair, its usually two-toned. Let's cross our fingers, everyone, and pray for a full head of blond hair....

10:01 - Shoot, I missed the start because I was in the bathroom blow-drying my hair. Okay, so there's a double elimination tonight (because of the "save" last week). Oh, man... *groan*... they're going to do a disco medley, it better be good. Oh, and David Archuleta is going to perform later. He was the runner-up last season. Whatever, I didn't watch last season. Intro to the judges, Simon gets cat calls once more, rolls his eyes this time. So cocky, haha. Paula Abdul is choreographing the dance medley, its showing a behind-the-scenes. Ooo, look at Adam rockin' the moves! Omg, Adam just said he's going to get the sweatiest and he wiped his forehead with a towel. You bet your ass someone is going to sell that towel on ebay for hundreds, no, thousands. Glamberts are obsessed, I tell ya. Paula is quite the task-master. Okay, here they go. Adam's got the moves, baby! Look at that funky white boy go! (He sang that song one week.) They're all doing their own little dance moves now. LOVE Adam's snakey arm movements. Adam's singing now, there's that sexy Adam growl us Glamberts love. Thrust those hips Adam, oh ya! Awww, the contestants just gave Paula a huge bouquet, that's sweet.

10:09 - Commercial break. Gotta get back to my hair! BRB... Man, how disappointing. Why does this always happen to me? Instead of the 'light golden blond' it should have been, I have a head full of light brownish-red-blond hair. Why, oh why can't my hair ever just do as its told? Dammit, I just wanna be a blond! Oh well. At least the difference in color between the roots and ends isn't so noticeable now.

10:12 - Back to the show. Just the guys are on the bench, the girls are still changing out of their dancing clothes. A new Ford commercial with the contestants. Less corny than usual. Aww, Adam is washing a dog! It runs away and he has to chase it. Ryan says Matt took the longest to change because he "had to put on his makeup". Hah! Okay, time for elimination. Lil Rounds is up first and she is: out. Gone. Now she has to sing her disco song. I'm going back to the bathroom while she sings, gotta check out the hair one more time. Maybe its lightened up in the last few minutes! Endless hope, eh?

10:22 - Even after a quick flat-ironing (in the hope that the heat will cause a lightening affect), its still... not blond. Ryan just introduced Miss Freda Payne (sp?) singing a medley of famous disco songs. I'm out of here, one more trip to the bathroom to fuss over the non-blond hair. *sigh* Guess I'll just have to accept the fact that if I want my hair a certain color, it'll have to be professionally done. I'm so cheap, though. But I guess if you're only willing to pay $8 for hair color, you get what you pay for, right? LOL.

10:26 - After a closer inspection, I can say that the ends of my hair are maybe half a shade lighter than they were before. I even left the dye in for 25 minutes longer than recommended! What the hell? This probably never happens to anyone else. Ugh, that stupid disco medley song is driving me crazy. Why would they have the original artists up there singing a song that was a hit for them like 30 years ago? Obviously, their vocal ability is not the same. Its kinda sad. Omg, the guy from KC & The Sunshine Song is singing his song. His voice is so shot, he's all old and balding. I'd much rather be hearing Adam singing "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight". That would inspire some wicked-nice dreams. Instead I have to watch a fat old guy in a flaming red shirt try to do 70s dance moves with his sexy backup singers dancing around him. Is the singing almost over? Yes, finally! Ahh, sweet sweet commercial break. I'm done with checking my hair, though. I'm not beating that dead horse any longer. (That's a saying, you know that, right?)

10:34 - Here we go. Time for another elimination. Kris Allen, please stand up, you are: safe. Good, he deserves to stay. Time for Adam! Everyone is screaming so loud and long, Ryan can't even talk. They won't stop yelling and screaming even while he's talking! Awesome. Ryan asks him about the risk he took changing the arrangement of the song. Adam says yeah, he was a little worried, would people even recognize it, but after reading the lyrics, he realized it didn't matter. Good answer, my sexy future-husband. OH! I said that out loud. (Don't worry, Hubs already knows Adam's going to take his place if he kicks the bucket. Ha ha). So what's America's decision about Adam? "Take a seat, you're safe." OF COURSE, no duh! Danny's turn now. Ryan asks Simon what he meant last night by Danny being 'clumsy'. Simon replies that Ryan is being facetious and would he please get back to the contestant. The audience goes "oooooo". Ryan snarks that Simon is "grumpy". Danny is: safe. Anoop is: in the bottom 2. Good decision America. Allison and Matt both on the hot seat, who is in the bottom 2 with Anoop...? Allison?! What?! Really, America? She is awesome! What the hell is going on here? Matt, the guy who butchered Staying Alive, is safe? I don't know, people, I don't know.

10:45 - Ryan intros "Welcome back David Archuleta", singing 'Touch My Hand'. Omg, he's like 14! No, 12! This is friggin' HILARIOUS! He SUCKS! Wow, how the heck did he make it to No.2 last year? For reals, you guys, this is just bad. Capital B. I'm in misery right now. I had to turn the volume wayyy down. Adam is probably sitting on the bench thinking "I'm a shoo-in if this is what America almost picked last year for their Idol." Nah, Adam is too nice to think that. But damn straight, everyone else there and across America is thinking it. I'm so embarrassed for the little guy. He's trying so hard to sing. Hubs just said, "Definitely a cabaret singer, or a cruise ship." Who knew my hubby was so funny? Hah. Song is finally over. I don't even want to hear what Ryan is talking to him about. Ugh!

10:54 - Down to Anoop and Allison, bring down the lights, good luck to both of you... The second person going home tonight is: Anoop Desai. Allison is safe. Thank God! Anoop has to sing his song now. Time for the 'mute' button. Tyler just said, "See, they have to know they're going home because how would they know what song to sing?" Oh, my sweet adorable Hubs. So not 'with it' when it comes to AI. I explain that they sing the song they sang the night before. "Oh." He's so cute. Okay, song is finally over. Turn the volume back up. I just want the camera to pan to Adam once more before the show ends. One more fix. Please! Nope, not to be, they're showing the "goodbye video" for Lil and Anoop. I really do like Lil, look at her three adorable kids, they're so little. I feel bad for her because she really does have an awesome voice. Poor song choice did her in every performance. Kind of a self-sabotage. Aww, all the contestants are hugging now. Come on camera, show me Adam. Okay, there he is hugging Lil. Damn you Lil, don't you be touching my man.

Show's over, there's the results, buh bye. I'm going to check my hair one more time. Hey, that's cool! AI results tonight, my hair-dyeing results tonight. How would America vote on my hair? OUT!

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